Dream a Little Dream With Me
by Kelly
I had a conversation with a close friend back in NY today about our adolescent sons. They're both 11 and have been the best of friends since infancy. I told L about the girlfriend dumping talk with Ty and we laughed about what a wise boy he is.
She then asked me if I've had THE TALK with him yet, the one about wet dreams. I said that I'd been thinking about that one for a few days and had it on my library list to check out the "What's Happening to my Body" book and was thinking about approaching it with his father back in NY ASAP. He's got the equivalent equipment and may be better suited to this task.
L already had the talk with her son D and felt like she mothered it to death. She said thank goodness her husband was running around getting things done and chiming in with his thoughts in a more casual way. Her approach was to sit him down and HAVE THE TALK. Her boy was uncomfortable and only wanted to hear so much and was more than happy when the talk ended. I know that it will be the same with Tyler.
He's such a private boy already, but is also starting to go through puberty. I knew a girl in jr. high who started her period in the middle of English and had no idea what it was, thought she was bleeding to death. That had to have scarred her. I know I would rather know what to expect than be surprised by it, so we'll be having a talk of some sort in the near future. I'll look for an opening though, and not just sit him down to tell him the facts.
L talked about it with her therapist as well, who suggested she tell D that wet dreams may be a milestone equivalent to menstruation for a girl, but that he needn't worry about the cramps and the bitchiness, that it would feel good.
It should feel good. I'll be borrowing that one even if I do think it's grossly unfair that boys get to feel good practically every night and girls get bleeding and cramps once a month for a week. But that's a whole other post. I knew to talk to Ty about periods -- Lord knows he's seen me go through some rough ones. I've heard him tell his friends, "Not today -- Mom's got her moon time and she's grouchy," more times than I care to admit.
Puberty snuck up on us this year when we weren't looking. I'm stunned by some of the changes taking wing in my baby boy. It seems like yesterday I convinced his daddy that we needed to leave his brand new little penis intact, and now he's on the cusp of having his life influenced by that second brain in his
shorts. They grow so fast.
What are your thoughts about or experiences of HAVING THE TALK with your child?
She's gonna enter the convent. (OK, not really)
Posted by: Busy Mom | October 30, 2003 at 10:50 PM