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February 16, 2004



I had always planned to have 2 children. I didn't care what sex just as long as I had 2. Well after Lillianna was born we tried for about 2 years and nothing happened. By then my husband decided 1 was enough. Now that Lillianna is 6 and I am 41 (gasp) I know she will be our only child. Last year when we moved I gave away all her baby things to a 19yr old girl who was unmarried and expecting a daughter of her own. It killed me to say goodbye to all my baby's things. I still always hoped for one more child.
I loved being pregnant. I am hoping my sister will settle down soon and have a baby so I can get my "baby fix".


I've come to accept that this is part of the process. I'd do it if I had one, five or 15 kids. You can delay it, but you'd still have to have a 'last baby'.

Maybe another term for it would help?

'Last Chance!'

'Last Hurrah'

'Final Destination'


I'm not helping am I.


I think everyone goes through this to some degree.I knew Seth was my last,and I *really* didn't want or need another,but that didn't keep me from mourning the loss of my baby years.


It is bittersweet. My daughters are 10 and almost 15 and there some babyclothes I've never given away. One sniff of the fabric and the lingering essence of Baby and it all comes back! But that "baby" will still be with you, just growing into a wonderful, interesting person that still needs you, in different ways, forever.


I've felt that sadness intermittently for years as Colter grows from age to age and stage to stage, knowing that he'll be (in all likelihood) our only child. Someone once told me that at some point -- whether it's after your first or your fifth, voluntary or involuntary -- you stop having babies, and whenever that happens it's sad. So, I've accepted that I can't avoid having my last child, I can just delay it.

Marcia Lynx Qualey

That's sweet, Amanda. Thanks for helping me re-appreciate Isaac's babydom.

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