A holiday dispatch

By Andrea

We're on holiday right now. We spent five night camping earlier this month (self-link to family hijinks here), and are about to set for home from a visit with our in-laws, during which time my husband and I took a two-night getaway to historic and lovely Niagara-on-the-Lake.

This was the first time that the both of us have been away from both of our children. TWO NIGHTS! It may not sound like much, but it was a big thing for us to do. The goal: to reconnect as a married couple and enjoy some quality time away from our children.

Aside from the weather, which was cloudy and chilly, we had a great time. We slept in. We had long soaks in the jacuzzi. We read newspapers and newly-purchased books AND magazines without interruption. We ate copious amounts of rich food. Imagine: three-course breakfasts which included dessert! We ordered flights of wine with dinner (we were, after all, in the middle of wine country) not really caring about the risk of hangover. We consumed bowls of ice cream and gourmet jelly beans. I wore a new va-va-voom dress that was not going to encounter any sticky handprints on the way out the door. This was living!

After a leisurely sushi dinner the second night we started to feel a little lonely. In fact, the topic of How Much We Adore Our Daughters and How Much We Miss Them almost dominated the evening. So on the way out of the restaurant we asked one of the waitresses if she could direct us to a pay phone. I keep a phone card in my wallet in case of emergencies. This was definitely an emergency. WE HAD TO TALK TO OUR DAUGHTERS!

The waitress frowned. She wasn't sure if there was a pay phone nearby, and she waved us up the street. Perhaps we looked disappointed. We walked up the stairs of the restaurant and turned in the recommended direction.

"Hey! Wait!"

We turned to see a smiling young woman approaching us with cell phone in hand.

"Here, use my phone."

I didn't notice her from the restaurant, but she must have overheard our conversation with the waitress. We explained it was going to be a long distance call. She said it didn't matter.

So Mark dialed the number. The conversation was pretty short. Emma informed us that Nana was eating a Rice Krispie Square they had all made together, and assured us that they were having fun. But Sarah (who is three) came on the phone and asked us to come home. It nearly brought us to tears. In fact, if we hadn't arranged for that second night I'm sure Mark would have hopped in the car that very second and driven straight home.

We somberly returned the phone to the young woman, and thanked her profusely. Inwardly, I wondered: at what point did I become one of those women who can't travel without feeling guilty and getting all mushy about their children? I never thought I'd get this soft. :)

We explained who we called and why. She told us that she'd just found out she was expecting her first child. She was eight weeks along. Perhaps it was this happy news that prompted her to extend this kindness to strangers.

I hope she knows what a great thing she did for us.

Comments

[emily]

What a sweet lady.My girls stay with my parents from time to time and I get the same way.

[VJ]

I have two similar entries in my blog, here and here. I know very well what you are saying about being lonely. Makes me feel kinda guilty about being so excited to go off to high school (I went to a bording high school) and college. Now I understand why my parents wanted to visit me when I was teaching overseas, and why they always came up to the summer camp I was working at. It annoyed me to death whenever they showed up then, but I can understand it better, now.

[Susan]

At least twice a year my husband and I take a weekend for ourselves. We've been doing this since about 6 months after our oldest child was born. I can't tell you how much we look forward to and enjoy these weekends. We miss the children terribly. It doesn't stop us from going, though. We really reconnect during those weekends and come back to reality recharged and ready to take on runny noses, fighting children and all those other daily tasks when you have children.

The hardest part of the weekend is the calls home. We try to limit them because our children are happy when they first talk to us and then end up begging us to come home when they realize they miss us. It's so funny how when they don't see us or hear from us they are happy but when they hear our voice they get so sad. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.

We are going away next weekend for our anniversary (our 12th! where does the time go??). We haven't decided where we are going, we just know we are going. To us it doesn't matter where we go - just that we spend it together, alone.

I once knew a woman that bragged that she had never been away from her 4 year old for more than 3 hours since she was born. I thought she was nuts and wondered how long her marriage would last. Of course, everyone is different. So perhaps I shouldn't judge. I just know that we need our time away.