My sense of shame

By Melissa

My daughter's birth was strenuous. I labored the entire day and the baby wasn't tolerating labor very well. Honestly, neither was I. Her heartbeat kept dropping during contractions and each time this happened I had to roll my massive body into a new position to relieve whatever trauma was bothering Madison in utero. After that, her heartbeat would return to normal.

Until late in the day, when her heartbeat dropped and I changed positions a few times but it didn't help her. Ten to 15 doctors and nurses rushed into my room and prepared for an emergency C-section. One of the nurses had a brilliant idea, "Why doesn't she try laying on her stomach on this bean bag chair?"

At this point I had been laboring for eight hours, I was catheterized, epidural-ed and I had wires coming from places wires do not belong. I was in no mood for this, but as I've learned many times in the last six years, a lot of mothering involves doing things you aren't in the mood to do.

Wearing nothing but cords and a hospital gown, up I went on all fours, my stomach resting on a bean bag chair. Have you ever worn a hospital gown? You may recall hospital gowns do not close in back and because of this you typically don't want to be on all fours while wearing a hospital gown. I gave 10-15 members of the hospital staff, plus whoever else was called up to see the spectacle, quite a show that day.

As I kneeled there waiting to see if my baby's heartbeat would return to normal, I began to cry. Logan leaned in saying, "It's going to be all right. I know you're scared."

I yelled, "I'm not crying because I'm scared!!! Would you look at me?" We shared a good laugh over that, with the room of 100 spectators.

Now explain to me how, after all that, I am still horrified by wearing a bathing suit in public?

Comments

[Kat]

Oh, my, yes. I totally know what you mean. I assumed the same position, only willingly. It was the only one that was comfortable. AND MY LITTLE BROTHER WAS IN THE ROOM.

I think he is permanently scarred.

[Lunasea]

I was surprised how much modesty I lost during labor. I would've gladly spread 'em for the janitor if he would tell me I was past 4 cm.

[yum mum]

When I was in labour, I felt like I had to poo. I sat naked on the toilet with my husband and the nurse watching me. I wanted her to go away. She kept yelling, "Don't push!" Damn it. She was making it difficult to let go. After that, I have no problems having people see my breasts, but I am shy about people seeing my battle scars (stretch marks). Go figure.

[Robin P]

Wow with all that you went through you should feel comfortable on a NUDE beach!!
Ya there is nothing that kills your modesty like giving birth does!!!

[Sarah]

So, did the stomache postition help the birth any? :)

[Auntie M]

I've retained my lost modesty, although I might not have had much to begin with. But I don't wear two piece bathing suits after two kids.

[hez]

yes, in giving birth, you pretty much loose all sense of modesty (although, in my case, I was beyond caring. Having something bigger than a watermelon coming out of my hoohoo was rather distracting). After leaving the hospital, my sense of modesty quickly returnsed - which is probably a good thing. Otherwise, there would be a lot of frightened people out there.