Where has the quiet time gone?

By Kris

At the pediatrician last week, the doctor asked me where John slept and I told her his crib. "Do you like your crib?" she asked him.

"No! I hate my crib, I want a big-boy bed," he answered. I explained that he hadn't tried to crawl out yet, and I knew that once I put him in a bed, he would stop napping. "I need those naps," I said.

Perhaps John was listening. That Monday, after a nonstop day of meeting my boys' every need, I tucked John into his crib for a nap. Before resting, I cleaned the sink and went to the basement to start the dryer. Then I heard it: the pitter patter of John's feet, barreling across my kitchen floor. My luck had run out.

I found him watching TV with Ben. "What's going on here?" I asked.

"I came downstairs, and quiet time was over!" he said, a huge smile on his face.

At first, I was stoic. I didn"t fall to the floor in a sobbing heap of "why me?"s. After all, John turned 3 after Christmas. I couldn't expect him to nap forever.

Then my heart started to beat funny and I broke out in a cold sweat. No more naps! Thirteen-hour days with no breaks!

Sure, I struggled when Ben first stopped napping, but now we have a routine. He will watch a video, then harass me starting with the first note of its closing song. But if I feed him, he will leave me alone a bit longer.

Videos don't hold John's attention, though. He needs a drink. He needs help. He needs constant supervision. He's one big walking need.

My brain started to calculate: Let's see, if Ben gets assigned to the kindergarten class that falls on the same day as John's preschool, and I can get the baby to sleep while they're at school, I may get my hour of quiet time back in about eight months. My hands started to shake.

So I gave the nap another try. John climbed into his crib, and I stood outside his door for a minute before tiptoeing downstairs. As I walked into the kitchen, he yelled, "I'm up here, Mom," from the top of the stairs.

"Go lay down, John!" I called, my voice full of hope but my heart resigned to the inevitable.

"I'm comin' down now!"

Perhaps I can teach John that mommy needs some rest or work time and to play on his own. Perhaps I can teach the two boys to get along for an hour without me as referee. But I don't know. Quiet time with one child awake, maybe. But with two? Is that even possible?

Comments

[meritt]

You have a three year old in a crib? Gulp. (I think the doctor asking your three year to answer for himself was a ploy to make you see that three year olds shouldn't really be in cribs anymore). :)

But you can still have quiet time. Truly.
(No really! I'm not lying!) LOL.

[amanda]

Lalalalala!!! Not listening!!!! Lalalalalalala!

I napped till I was in second grade and my children will too!!

lalalalalala!!

[Robin P]

Just one word for ya......babysitter!! Can you hire someone for a couple of hours so YOU can nap???? I'd seriously look into it. Three children is a lot! I struggle with one....lol.
Good luck!!

[Suzanne]

It gets better, Kris! Just keep your sense of humor. It's amazing how fast it all goes by and then one day they're all in school!

[Irene]

And then one day you have a little girl of your own, who grows up, marries and has a little boy of her own, who hates nap time and bed time both. And as a grandmother, you sit there and watch the whole struggle take place and you know that one day it will all be resolved. Stay eternally optimistic!

[Mieke]

Jonas is starting to give up his nap, but we still have mandatory quiet time. He can sit in his bed and read or play quietly on his bed, but he must "rest his body" for at least an hour. It works for us.

[Ancarett]

The loss of naptime is the worst part of this stage. You're right that, until he is able to amuse himself for a half hour or more, you will have no peace on your own.

[Mama Sarah]

I remember when my oldest (now 5) gave up his nap, I could have sworn he had MORE energy. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Seeing as you can't MAKE him sleep, I agree with the other commenteurs that quiet-time is the next best thing. Don't give up! Keep trying to figure out what will keep him playing quietly, even if it's for 20 mins. Let me know what works, cause my #2 is growing up fast and I'm taking notes! Good luck.

[Nicola]

My little guy's only 11 months old, so we're still on two naps a day (not to make you jealous!), but when I worked as a nanny all during my university years, I used to do "quiet time" w/ the preschool aged two in the afternoon (mostly so that their little brother could have his nap!). It really did help them, after preschool to come home, have some playtime, then from about 3-4pm just relax, unwind, lay in bed and read or nap or whatever quiet pursuit they chose. You can lay w/ him and close your eyes.

[kat]

Kiddo#1 stopped napping around 3 and it definitely made his sleep schedule all wonky for a few weeks. He would get really cranky around bedtime, insist he wasn't sleepy and by the end of it, he was still up and we were exhausted. During the day however, we discussed the idea of quiet time and I told him that I, coolest mom ever needed at least 30 minutes of siesta. So we came up with activites that were quiet like looking through books, drawing, watching a video...it's fabulous. I think he enjoys the mellow downtime too.

[sleepingmommy]

My oldest two have given up nap time shortly before they turned two. All I can ever hope for is that "quiet" time in the afternoon watching a video one or both of them will fall asleep.

I so know that desperate need for mommy-alone-quiet time. Feeling your pain...