Sucker baby

By Leslie

"Your life will change completely -- forget going out, having a life or spending alone time with your husband!"

"You'll never go to the movies again!"

These are just a few of the things that close friends and family told me when we announced we were having our first child (after the obligatory round of hearty congratulations, of course). I know they meant well and were just trying to prepare me for motherhood. But really, folks, I could have done without the warnings!

I spent the subsequent six months of pregnancy lying awake at night frightened by just how much work a child would be. When asked, "Aren't you just so excited about the baby?" I would smile and say, "Of course!" while inwardly terrified by how much my life would change when he arrived.

And arrive he did -- nine adorable pounds of steel gray eyes, blondish hair and a Winston Churchill face. And you know what? It was easy!

James didn't fuss much, he ate like a champ and he slept even better. Heck, I got more sleep on maternity leave than I did when I went back to work full time.

Our son is now 2 years old and I still manage to see three or four movies a month, my husband and I have a scheduled date night once a week and on weekends we often travel as a family. And to this day, I feel both guilty (that I didn't go through the hell that the other mothers in my book club went through) and alone (was my invitation to the "Motherhood Hell" club lost in the mail?).

Of course, we do realize just how lucky we are. James was a "sucker baby," a baby so good that he suckers you into having another one!

But why did everyone try and scare me into thinking that motherhood was this awful, tiring adventure? It hasn't been for us -- rather, it has been a deliciously fun, immensely rewarding and downright hilarious adventure. I always knew I'd love my child, I just never realized how much fun he would be!

So as we consider giving James a sibling, I am bracing myself for what I know friends will say, "Oh, two is MUCH harder than one, you are really in for a shock!"

I sure hope they are wrong again!

So tell me, is having two infinitely harder than one?

Leslie lives in northern Virginia with her husband and 2-year-old son.

Comments

[Maria]

At first yes - but then it's easier because they play together... My first 2 were my "difficult" babies. First had reflux, second serious health issues introducing me to children's hospitals and infant surgery (he's thriving now). My "easy" baby is my little girl and I think 3 is perfect for us. Yes, we bring chaos wherever we go - but 2 boys do that - and it's a joyous chaos.

Go for it - enjoy!

Maria - mom to 3 wonderful kiddos - 5 1/2, 3 1/2 and 15 mos

[Emily]

We got a sucker baby, too. In fact she already suckered us in, and #2 is due when #1 will be 20 months old. It will be an adventure, I'm sure, and we've heard a mix of warnings and suggestions already of course. Good luck!

[Donna]

You learned an early lesson: DON'T LISTEN to the well meaning advice of other parents. They will just make you crazy. (The cacophony of voices swells at each stage of your child's life - finding a school, joining a sport, etc.) Just smile, thank them and listen to your child and your heart and you'll be fine.

[Laurie]

I don't know if two is harder than one, but Anthony certainly is a sucker baby, too. Good luck!

[bethany]

I got jipped! Sucker baby? Who has one of those.

Ever since I had my child-- EXHAUSTTION! But, yes I love him. The adventure is great.. he is the best thing in my life that has completed our family (until #2 comes).

Tell me one thing? Do you live near your family (your parents or inlaws)? Because we don't-- more than 8 hours away. And for us, that means little to no babysitters--and few avenues to find one. So, for us, it is all of us for outings. And i find that makes a BIG difference.

Happy parenting... it is always fun, if not tiring. :-)

[Leslie]

Wow, what a lot of feedback! Thanks for all the comments, folks. I think we're pretty much decided on having another baby (four seems a little too much for me right now, though!). I'm sure we'll muddle along no matter how easy/hard the next one is. But we definitely realize that the odds are slim to none that we'll get such a good baby the second time around! Oh well, I’m sure our good baby will be a hellion when he reaches his teen years. It all evens out!

[charlene]

our first was definitely a sucker baby. and right after we delivered #2 in May, i thought "can't wait for the next one!" having two is wonderfully fun...our boys are 3.5 years apart. i wouldn't say it's hard...challenging at times...but definitely fun!

[M&Co.]

Two are exponentially more difficult than one! I too had a sucker baby. Easy, fun, slept like a champ, hardly ever sick, could take her anywhere. And then we adopted our BoyChild. While I wouldn't give him up for the the world, if I'd gotten him first, there probably wouldn't have been a second!

[liz]

We had a sucker baby first also - but with the second, now I know what "difficult" means! For us, the old Norwegian saying is right on - "One is like none, two is like ten." It is lots of fun, but plan to have lot of help lined up for the first 4 months!

[Chris]

2 is more work, but it's the third where things go bananas. Anytime you have more children than hands and eyes you are in big big trouble...and while I am happy that your first baby was easy I think I'll spend the rest of the day hating you...

Just kidding...

Chris

[beckie]

Two is harder....but who said hard is bad?? Two is GREAT. Four is even better!!

[mar]

I agree - 2 is a little more work, but certainly not double. The stress is so much less - you know all about what to expect now, from birth, to diapers, to feeding, to illness, teething, etc. A little more laundry, yes - and maybe a little less "us" time initially, as you help your older child transition from being an only child. But it's short - and fun. And if you do give up a little of that time, it's well worth it - seeing your 2 children develop their own relationship is reward enough!

[dazeymae]

actually, two is easier than one. They entertain each other and a sibling relationship is the longest relationship your child will ever have.
When you're gone, when grandpa is gone, when they've just been with their spouse for mearly 30 years, the brother or sister will understand....
go fer it.

[Ancarett]

Our second baby was much easier than the first, sleeping six hours at a stretch from the beginning. But then we started to suspect something wrong and she was diagnosed with moderate autism.

Each child is an individual and each family is unique. Only you know if you feel ready for one, two or more and even then, you can't predict how hard or easy your road will be. It sounds like you're as ready for another as anyone would ever be so enjoy the ride!

[Jeremiah Lee]

I always thought that was such a bad way to induct parents into the parenting clan. "Hey guys, come on in, the water's pretty freakin' cold." It's part of the 'What (terrible things) to Expect When Your Expecting' phenomenon. That book gets moms ready for everything that could possibly be bad without mentioning much that is great.

Our second is now 2 months old, and everyone told us it would be horrible (they're 12.5 months apart). Well, 2 months into it, and we're doing fine. It's easier because we're experienced parents now, it's harder because there's two of them. It's pretty balanced.

Have a good time, and don't listen to the naysayers. It surely can be hard, but so much of it is dependant upon whether you're ready for it, and it sounds like you are.

[Jason Berggren]

Great post. It seems you have made the priorities and taken the time to make you marriage strong. That's awesome that you enjoy your child so much. I think the second one does present more challenges. It's not twice as much work. More like four times as much work.

[LammyAnn]

NO WAY. 2 was even better for us. ENJOY your family. THey grow up so fast.