Grandma loves me best

By Michelle

My children have too many toys. Now before you think I am among the parents who buy their children everything, I must profess my innocence. No, I did not cast our hard-won earnings at the Gods of Toys 'R Us. No, I did not go berserk at a yard sale.

It's Grandma's fault.

Actually, both grandparents have succumbed to the Spoiling Syndrome. If Darling Grandson wants it, he gets it. Have you ever noticed that even the strictest parents suddenly morph into an unknown being once they become grandparents? All the rules are gone. The raging tyrant who would not let you stay up past eight o'clock melts away and becomes the soft-hearted Santa Claus who gives presents 365 days a year. The four food groups are no longer nutritious vegetables, meats, dairy and grains. No, they become: chocolate, ice cream, cookies and chips.

I remember one morning at the crack of dawn when I staggered downstairs at my mother's house, only to find her feeding my 18-month-old a bowl of vanilla ice cream. He was happily letting her shovel it in, batting his innocent eyes at her. I could read his thoughts: Clearly Grandma loves me more than you do, Mommy.

"You can't give him ice cream for breakfast?" I screeched.

"But he wanted it," my mother protested.

Personally, I think it's all part of the master plan called "Payback." All the times when I refused to go to bed, wanting another story or a glass of water are being revisited back on me. My mother is laughing at me and having a glorious time. Grandparents have paid their dues, raised their children properly, and now they can do all the things they could never do with us. 

As a child, I worshipped both sets of grandparents. One grandma would buy old prom dresses for me at thrift stores, so I had a princess wardrobe for playing dress-up. My other grandmother would take me out into her garden to snip sprigs of mint for the iced tea. One grandpa taught me how to play cards and how to bluff. The other taught me how to cast a fly fishing rod. I treasured the time they spent with me.

Although the rule-breaking sometimes makes me want to run into a closet and scream at the top of my lungs, I remind myself of how precious these moments are to my children. They are building a relationship with my parents and my husband's parents. When they look back on their childhoods, they'll have memories to make them smile.

What are your favorite memories of your grandparents?

Michelle lives with her husband and children in southeastern Virginia, where she teaches sixth-graders and also write historical romances.

Comments

[naomi]

I have many fond memories with my Grandparents, but it is the simple ones that are the most vivid; cracking macadamia nuts in the vice in my Pa's garage under the cool of the house in Summer. Podding peas in the stainless steel bowl with Grandma (I can still hear the sound the peas made as they hit the bowl) and watching her scoop up the butterscotch icecream into perfectly rounded mounds that were always much bigger than the scoops dished out by Mum. Drinking chilled Sarsparella in Great-Grandma's "shack out the back" while she fussed over us and chatted about this and that - her voice was so old-fashioned and sweet. And the smell of lemongrass always takes me back to the sunny days at Grandma Elsie's house, where we'd pick the grass from out the back then make it into a refreshing drink... Funny how, as I've read over what I've written, all my memories mentioned are linked to my tastebuds!!!

[kacey]

my mom takes my kids shopping, and they hold up a few things and say "I don't know grams, which one do you like best"...and she buys all of them...

[Robin P]

My mom and my step-father,John, are Lillianna's only grandparents. John was a rough and strict father to his 3 kids but he is putty in Lillianna's hands. He sings and dances with her. He takes her on walks...you name it. She is Papa's Princess....and she knows it!!

My mom spoils her but I don't mind. If she eats Dorito's, Tootsie Rolls
and ice cream at Nana's house one day,who cares? She won't die from it. It's not nutritious but I make up for it on other days.

Once she ate a cheese doodle sandwich at a cookout at my sister's house while I was at work. My mother said she'd make her eat watermelon later. I thought,"What the heck? She's only young once and grandparents aren't here forever." There is nothing like a memory with a grandparent!!

[Missie]

How true your column is! I hold with the old Bill Cosby definition of grandparents: They're just old people trying to get into heaven! :)

My mother spoils my kids rotten. I mean, smelly rotten. I am trying to teach my 3mo old that she doesn't get picked up everytime she makes a noise, and my mom comes right along behind me, holding her close and singing, and telling me in an indignant voice, "But she was cryyyyyinnng!" But I am happy that both our parents find our kids so wonderful, because we do too.

[Lana]

I was lucky to have all 4 grandparents for all of my childhood, and have fond memories of Easter egg hunts, fishing on the lake, picnics, etc. I'm still amazed that they attended nearly every band concert, Christmas play, softball game and dance recital - couldn't have been too exciting because I wasn't particularly good at any of these activities!

I still have a plaque my Grandma gave me which says:

"Grandma says 'yes' because she loves you. Mommy says 'no' for the same reason."

A good lesson for kids!