Potty training. Those two seemingly innocuous words strike utter fear in my heart. I get cold and hot flashes just thinking about pint-sized potties, Pull-Ups and nighttime sheet changing. I walk quickly past the potty training books at the bookstore, fearful one might come to life and leap out at me screaming, "Don't you know it's time to potty train your child??!! You only have a small window of opportunity to get this right! Snap to it, Woman!"
Now that we've passed the first set of major milestones (crawling, walking, talking and tantrums) with our just-turned-two son, we are supposedly ready for the next one, potty training. The only problem is that I am not ready. I am not sure I'll ever be ready. See, diapers are fabulous to me. Sure, they are a little expensive, especially when your child's cute little Buddha belly is so large that only the most expensive premium brand fits him. And sure, it would be nice if James could just "take care of business" on his own. But I don't care. I'll forgo a latte at Starbucks every day for the convenience that diapers afford me, at least for now.
Right now, I slap a diaper on James each morning and off we go. We can go to the mall, the movies, the park, no hassles whatsoever. If he has to go, he goes. No frantically running around trying to find a restroom in time. If he does need a change, it's a quick trip to a bathroom or even to the back of our car for a new diaper. What's not to love about that? And with baby number two on the way, juggling both of them while trying to get to the restroom in time just ain't this mama's idea of fun!
I dread the whole process of potty training and the conflicting methods I've learned about –- taking him to the potty every 30 minutes, giving reward stickers, letting him walk around naked all day, aiming for Cheerios in the toilet. Ugh. You don't suppose they make diapers for 6th graders, do you? Hmmmm…
Besides, I've already got enough pee on my hands (and floor!) with an incontinent cat and a dog who doesn't always wake us when she needs to go out at night. How much more can a gal handle?
So does anyone know of a nice "potty training camp" where I can send my son for a few weeks?
Leslie lives in northern Virginia with her husband and 2-year-old son.