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October 06, 2005

Comments

Sarah

I am reading "The Truth Behind the Mommy Wars" by Miriam Peskowitz right now and her discussion is similar to yours: it is not stay at home vs career mom, or at least it shouldn't be...that is not the reality as many moms need and quite a good few want, to work and there needs to be support for them to doso. We talk so much about "choice" and yes we have some, but we are also still limited: you mention "the one job available to you" as a single mom...It angers and saddens me that moms who need or want to work do not have the employment or career choices that non-moms and men have. We are often forced to take lower-paying or less stimulating jobs because they are more flexible and less demanding of our full attention.

Good Luck at your new job and thank you for writing about something I think a lot about!

Robin P

In the days before I met Rich,got married and had Lillianna,I thought I'd be a full time stay at home Mom who volunteered in school,baked cookies and had a hot meal on the table every night for my family.
(Hold on a sec,I have to stop laughing......ok I've composed myself enough to continue.)
The reality is,one income does not cut it. I worked part time for 5 years and the past 3 years I have worked two jobs which equals 37 hours/week. I am never at home. I rarely bake treats and I am lucky if I get a real meal on the table twice a week. (Rich cooks on Sundays so that's 3 home cooked meals per week.) The rest is leftovers or take out. Who has money for take out???????
My life is not like I pictured it would be but it's still a wonderful life.
I think you are doing what you have to do and you should be very proud of yourself. I hope your new job is wonderful!! Good luck!

Cathy

Betsy - You are absolutely right that my life is nothing like I thought it would be 10 years ago when I graduated from college, and that we never know exactly how things are going to work out. Congrats on the fabulous new job!

Kelly

I second Amy's comment. I was fortunate to raise my children at home while I worked out tof the house. Imagined and dreamed about beinf a "room mom" just like my mom. Took me 2 years to get out of a marriage, just because I did not want to affect their lifestyle. Now, a year after seperation and 2 weeks after final divorce, I see that they are doing just fine, and I am in fact closer to my children for it. Yep, they have to go to after care. But they see my effort, and they know I love them, even if I can't meet them for lunchtime anymore. Go Betsy! It's not easy not having a choice, but I tell you, they can see the strength in their mother. I work for that every day.

Kelly

I second Amy's comment. I was fortunate to raise my children at home while I worked out tof the house. Imagined and dreamed about beinf a "room mom" just like my mom. Took me 2 years to get out of a marriage, just because I did not want to affect their lifestyle. Now, a year after seperation and 2 weeks after final divorce, I see that they are doing just fine, and I am in fact closer to my children for it. Yep, they have to go to after care. But they see my effort, and they know I love them, even if I can't meet them for lunchtime anymore. Go Betsy! It's not easy not having a choice, but I tell you, they can see the strength in their mother. I wok for that every day.

amy

You are my IDOL. No, I mean that. You are. When I start to get scared about doing this as a parent alone...I read something you write and think...THANK GOD there are women like her. Thank you thank you thank you....

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