A mommy's body is well-loved

By Mindy

In the early mornings I am packed in warm children: one along my left flank, one along my right, and one snuggled to my chest, belly to belly. It's our favorite time of day. For a few sleepy moments, everyone is enveloped and entwined, duvet pulled high with tufts of hair sticking out.

And then they realize that the day ain't gettin' any younger. Daphne begins poking me just gently enough to be annoying. Logan starts monologuing about unfinished business from the night before. Dylan is manning his post at my belly button, administering the day's salutary raspberries. It's very difficult to squirm away from raspberries with three children weighing you down.

"Mommy, look," observed Dylan, "Your tummy is fat."

"It's not fat, it's soft. It's snuggly. But it's not fat."

"Well, it is a little."

Logan to the rescue. "Even if it is, it's not polite to say it out loud, Dylan. Say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry, Mama."

"Well, since we're on the subject, do you want to know how it got so soft?" Three sets of ears pricked up. I turned to Logan. "First you grew in my tummy, stretching it waaaay out to here, and then it went allll the way back to normal." Then I poked Dylan. "And you came along and stretched it right back out again, and it barely had time to go back to normal again before Daphne started pushing it out again. And she stayed in there so much longer than the two of you that she stretched it extra far and that is why I will always have a little pillow for your heads."

"It doesn't have to be there, though." Logan's been spending too much time discussing "Supersize Me" with his father.

"Let me ask you something, Logan. What do your favorite books look like? Are the covers a little scuffed and scratched from being carried around? The pages slightly rumpled from all the turning? The binder all loose and frayed from being opened and closed and opened and closed?"

"I guess."

"Well, those are the signs of a well-loved book. I like to see books that have been read and re-read and shared and carried around. New books look lonely, like no one has wanted to dance with them or take them outside to play. A mother's body is the same way. It has wrinkles and stretches and soft places it didn't have when it was just a girl's body. Those are all the signs of a well-loved body. Each of you has left your marks on me, and I wear those marks with pride and love."

"We did?"

"Yup. Look. This one's from you, Logan, it's the opening in my tummy where the doctor took you out. And Dylan, you left a scar too, but I can't show you that one. But trust me, even if you don't come out of your mommy's tummy, you can leave a mark. And Daphne, since you were in there an extra week, you gave me these tiny lines here. I didn't have any lines until that 41st week. Logan and Dylan were early and you stretched me the biggest!" She giggled.

"So, when you see a mommy's body and it doesn't look like a girl's, or like some other lady's body, it's probably a little bit because of how much her children loved her body, and how well she love them."

They were quiet a moment, and I figured I'd sold them the whole enchilada. "Right. Who's up for homemade waffles?"

Mindy is a divorced mother who lives in the Bay Area with her three children.

Comments

[Valerie]

Mindy I love this! I will have to repeat this to my children since they are pointing out that my belly is still big 7 weeks postpartum.

[Cathy]

Thanks for giving all of us a wonderful perspective! This is why your book is going to be totally awesome :)

[Marie]

Awesome - very well put Mindy!

[Nicola]

Now if only I could get my husband to see it that way! Thanks for a really lovely post to be shared with well loved mommies everywhere.

[Shannon]

Thank you so much! This is so awesome and I will (should) read it often! Enjoy your Thanksgiving and your family!

[Lizlsmom]

What a reat story! I love that :) It actually makes me love my body even more than before...

[Michelle]

Definitely beautiful. Thank you for writing this.

[stellasmami]

Great post! I don't know if I could use it, lol, cause my belly was fatter before! But those stretch marks--well... might work there. But what a wonderful way to teach your kids about acceptance, love and life-- thy will all grow up all the better foor it.

[TANYETTA]

Mindy, that was amazing! Thank you for that. I'm linking yourstory in my blog for all my people to enjoy. Take Care, -T

by the way I have TWO c-section scars and now you've given me hope to just accept my body the way it is. a beautiful reminder of my babies!

[Brenda]

Perfect post, Mindy! This is something I'll definitely refer back to on the days when I'm not feeling to warmly towards my body and I need a self-esteem boost. Thank you!

[Jasra]

What a lovely way to look at the changes your body goes through. Well written as always.

[Bethany]

WONDERFUL, wonderful post! :-) And don't you just LOVE the very first part of the morning. My little guy cuddles right up next to me, squirming his little arms around my neck. My husband might even pull the covers up to our necks and throw and arm around us too.

Ahhh... it is wonderful. A great start to any day. Even when I DON'T want to get up.

[Jules]

Mindy I know you've touched every Mom out there with this post.

[Jennifer t-g]

Mindy, I've been quietly in the back of the room eavesdropping on your blogs for a while now. I've read of your travels, of your kids antics...your way of blending ex-husband, boyfriend and work..knitting it all together with your off-spring. But of all that I've read, NOTHING has touched me more, than this piece. I am moved. I am happy. I feel validated as a momma with a woman's body. You wrote that so incredibly well, that I had to tell you the impact of your words on my soul...even from the back of the room, where I usually sit making not a sound. ;)

[Christine]

Thanks, Mindy. You made my day! :)

[Kristy]

Beautifully written. Thank you.

[Robin P]

I had tears pouring down my face after the first few sentences.
What a great post.

[Y]

Wow. I've never had that conversation with my children, but I've had it with myself. Of course, you expressed it so much more beautifully than I ever could.

What a beautiful post, Mindy.

[Meredith]

I have tears in my eyes.

[mr. X]

That was beautiful...

[silverback]

Perfect.