Fearing SIDS

By Kris

Ava turned four months old last week, landing smack in the middle of the age bracket -- two to six months -- when Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is most common. Every day, I think about it. When I check on her while she sleeps, I get this pit in my stomach: What if she’s dead? When she wakes at night, I don’t let myself get annoyed. At least she’s alive!

I know it sounds melodramatic. Although SIDS remains the No. 1 cause of death in infants in the United States, it is rare. So I try to squelch the fear, I don’t wallow in it. But, like mommy guilt, it’s just there.

When I had Ben five years ago, the “back to sleep” campaign was well under way. I would have thrown myself in front of a speeding bus before putting him to sleep on his tummy. In the evenings, Brian or I would run upstairs every 15 minutes to check him. We bought an Angel Care Monitor, which has a sensor pad that goes under the mattress and sounds an alarm if the baby stops breathing. Even though I know it’s a marketing gimmick and could never prevent SIDS, I still use it today.

My second son, John, has acid reflux, or GERD. For the first few months of his life, he’d sleep two hours at most then cry for an hour or more, all night long. We were desperate, and exhausted, by the time his pediatric GI advised us to sleep him on his stomach. So desperate that we did it.

John began sleeping eight hours at a stretch, but I cried so much you’d think he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I swear I aged 10 years in four months.

Ava sleeps well on her back, so well that my fear began centering around arousability, another SIDS factor. Still, I let her sleep in her own room pretty much from the start. The boys slept in a crib in my bedroom for their first year, but as a veteran mom, I wouldn't let the fear rule me. SIDS can happen at any moment, even while holding a baby. Plus, I like reading in bed with the light on after 8 p.m.!

Then I saw it: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) issued a new policy statement on SIDS.

A few things surprised me in the report. The AAP now recommends pacifier use to reduce SIDS risk. Research no longer links breastfeeding with a reduced risk of SIDS, which makes me happy for all formula-fed babies and their parents. And many day-care providers still put infants on their tummies to sleep, a major problem since these babies probably don't sleep on their tummies at home, making their risk of SIDS from tummy sleeping even higher.

But the most shocking to me, personally? “The risk of SIDS has been shown to be reduced when the infant sleeps in the same room as the mother.” I blinked, rubbed my eyes and read it again. They give little explanation, but it didn’t matter. Brian set the crib up at the foot of our bed the next night.

Yeah, I'm a veteran mom. But I'm also a sucker for statistics.

Kris is a thirtysomething stay-at-home mom who lives north of Boston with her family.

Comments

[mona]

I'm just happy Im not crazy I thought I was alone in my paranoia

[Peyton]

Since Ella just turned 1, we're pretty much in the clear for SIDS. But (and call me crazy), that just wasn't one of my huge worries when she was younger. Of course, we put her to sleep on her back. But once she could roll over both ways, she insisted on sleeping on her stomach, and we certainly weren't going to interrupt her (and our) much-needed sleep to flip her back over. And now that it's gotten cold out again (and she's 1), we've starting using a blanket with her. In fact, since we started the blanket, she's actually sleeping all the way through the night; I have a feeling that she was getting cold despite our best efforts at keeping her warm at night (footie PJs and the like).

My biggest fear when she was younger wasn't SIDS, it was RSV. She had a terrible bout of RSV when she was about 4 months old, and it really scared me.

[Claire Gee]

Here in Australia we are also told to lower the risk of sids by avoiding overheating the baby. This means I am always obsessing about what to dress the baby in, and which blanket to use in relation to the overnight low tempreture, as well as the constant checking. It is easy in winter when you can have a heater set at a regular tempreture, but it is getting hot here now, and what is too hot at bed time might be too cool in the early morning.

We are also strongly advised not to use cot bumpers, as they reduce air flow to the baby - another risk factor. You rarely see cot bumpers sold or used over here, and I am amazed when I see that they still seem to be in use over there, when they are so strongly discouraged here.

[Island Jen]

my son had reflux, I am also too paranoid to turn him on his tummy but I put him to bed in a bouncy chair or his baby swing every night and he slept 100% better.
Just a suggestion for other Mom's with children afflicted.

[Dozeymagz]

Don't feel bad about worrying - I am exactly the same. When our first little girl was born we took paranoia to new heights.We had the alarm too, kept checking on her constantly through the night and when she moved into her own room, we set up a baby camera above her cot and had the tv on all night. I didn't care what people thought - it gave us peace of mind. In fact, even though she's now 3, I still check on her in her room several times throughout the night. Our other little girl, who is about 1 and a half now, we still use the motion detector alarm (even during afternoon naps - in fact, it's on right now). Sometimes it's easy to get confused with all the seemingly contradictory info which comes out - all you can really do in the end is use commom sense and do what you feel is right. If that means checking up lots of times day and night - so be it. Do what you are happy doing and don't let anyone tell you you are over-reacting.

[Amber]

I really appreciated this post.

I am right there with you in regards to the fear of SIDS. Once my daughter could roll over, she would always try to sleep on her stomach. This scared me so much that I would check on her all the time at night and roll her back over to her back. This would wake her up and she would fuss. All resulting in little sleep for me. I also have one of those Angelcare monitors, which really does help for peace of mind even if there is no proof that it can help prevent SIDS. My daughter is just over 6 months old and I am just now starting to calm down about it.