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January 22, 2006


Stacy Quarty

Great letter to your baby to be!

There's one small bit I'll have to disagree with you on- I bet you'll be able to love this new baby just as much as you already love his big brother. As if by some miracle, it seems a mother's capacity for love grows more with each child. Do you remember what it was like before you had your first? Did you ever think it was possible to love anyone more than "the love of your life" at the time? It's crazy- this baby love business, but it's also amazing.


I remember crying the night before they induced labor for my #2...I just knew life would never be the same again...I was right. #2 will rock your world! and you will find that the love just grows...
truly, it is a multiplication thing, not division.
Its gonna be great.


Your feelings are very similar to all the feelings I had many years ago but I can tell you everything works out just as you hope. My kids are now 13, 11 and 9. We wouldn't be mothers without all the worries and guilt, LOL!


Beautiful post! As a mother of a nine month old contemplating #2, I thank you for writing what I too feel but never could have said so eloquently.


I think that everytime my husband says he wants another child - our only is just 19 months and I can't imagine shaking her world or ours with another child- but i'm sure eventually we will and i will need to book mark your post so I can remember what to say when I scrap book it.


You must have read my mind (and my blog). Everyday I am torn between the guilt of completely changing my 2 year old's world and the undeniable sense that our soon-to-be second will not get all the same and wonderful things our first did. Some things I remind myself of that help when Im feeling particularly down about things:
I realize that I am only human (even though most of us moms try and be super-human). I realize that change is inevitable, if it wasn't this it would be something else. Having a sibling is a wonderful gift for both my children (to be). Sharing their mother, toys, clothes and life together, will teach them patience, love and understanding. Just because my lap has gotten smaller, my heart has not, in fact, it has gotten bigger. Most children don't remember the birth of their younger siblings, much less are tramatized for life by the event. Some day when they are quietly playing together in their room occupying eachother and giving me a much needed few minutes of peace I will be really happy I did this.


I only have one child, but I was a second born daughter and I never felt any less loved by my parents than my older sister.

And although my siblings and I had our share of childhood squabbles, as adults we're all the most perfect friends/support system.

Good luck with your new family of four. There's always pleanty of love to go around.


This all sounds so familiar...oh, yeah, I went through just about the same thing! Lots of guilt while expecting the second. Tortured myself over it, practically. But man, you will be amazed at how your capacity for love just grows and grows with each child. You can't imagine it now, but just wait. And your first born will be just fine- better, even. It's going to be incredible...Just hang in there!


My 2nd daughter is 6 months and this is exactly what I was feelin' waiting for her to arrive. I felt more guilt about knocking my 3 year old out of her spotlight than I did excitement about the impending arrival... fortunately, my girls are completely in love with each other (for now), and all is peaceful in our house (for now)!


I think we all have this same sort of guilty, having 4 boys I did it everytime thinking what am I doing. Hang in there, being the oldest of 4 kids myself I am soo ever grateful (most days) to have siblings to share joys and fears with. So will your kids and so do my boys.

Take care!


Oh,I remember soooo well going through this when I was going from Mama of One to Mama of Two (er...actually Three,since they turned out to be twins). After having 5 kids, I can easily say the transition between 1 and 2 is the hardest.

amy h.

Nicely done. I could have written the same letter to my unborn daughter and her brother-in-waiting about 19 months ago....I was so worried that I hadn't done things as well the second time around and that my son's life as he knew it was over. And in some ways I wish I had done some things differently the second time (spent more time just loving my pregnant belly) and for my son, in many ways his life as he knew it WAS over...and at first it was hard (very, very). But now, it's amazing...they love each other and it's just as you said: "a good thing for everyone in the long run."


Well said. I just went through that 8 months ago. Everything has turned out fabulously!

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