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February 25, 2006

Comments

Jenna Burke

My BWild is quite the challenge. Boundary setting, which worked with BigBoy, has no effect. All the tricks from the books (time out chairs, cave-man speak, etc.) don't work, and neither do the Super Nanny tricks. He's just a big ol' mess.

I wish he could read, then he'd see that I should only have to leave the grocery store when he has a tantrum once, then he'll never do it again. Tried that one a dozen times, and since he was quite happy about it every time, I now just strap him into the cart and apologize to people.

DH and I wonder, are their children who simply NEED to be spanked to get the point? We spanked BigBoy once, for running into the street after we told him not to. But BabyBoy hasn't had a pop on the butt yet. He's 2 1/2, and I am praying we get to 3 quickly.

Maria

OMG - I have a 21 mo old who so wants to do exactly what her big brothers (4 and 6) do. All things considered she's pretty reasonable - but an independent little one who finds something to climb on to get her way, is carving her niche by being naughty in ways her brothers weren't (crayon on walls - sigh)and copying them at every opportunity - (she has become a champion belcher). My office mate says she'll be the cool girl because she's adorable and can act like a guy. I'm in so much trouble!

Missie

Great article, Michelle. And I LOL'd at the other moms' comments. My son is ten now and is very well behaved (97.254 percent of the time) because we set boundaries and stuck to them when he was little. It can be very hard and frustrating with a capital FRUSTRATING, but it is so worth it to be able to have a child you can take places and know he will behave himself.

I do have to share one funny incident. My son figured out at an early age that if he misbehaved in public, Mom couldn't do as much about it as she could at home. So Mom figured out that if she brought him into the restroom wherever they were, she could administer swift and sure justice while the infraction was still fresh in his mind. When he would act up, I would get down in his face and say very sternly, "Do we need to go to the bathroom?", to which he would reply, "No, Mama, I'll behave." One day when he was about five, we were in Safeway, and I had to use the restroom. I said, "Hey, Zack, do you need to go to the bathroom?" His mouth dropped open and he said, "But Mom! I wasn't doing anything!"

Michelle

Karrie--Oh, that is too funny about Gymboree! Poor man.

LauriJon--I do have a special Tupperware cabinet that I let her play in, and I'll give her a wooden spoon to let her pretend to cook. The problem is, she knows the difference! She doesn't want a thing to do with pretending when the real cooking is around! Sigh.

Kathryn

Bween and Bwild - Love it. Who's been spying on my life? I love my 17-month old daughter's little hovering hand over anything she knows she isn't supposed to do. "Wait, I won't do it until you look at me, Mama." Then, I catch her, she smiles and does it. It's no fun if it doesn't bug Mama.

The hard part is that I know all the boundary setting we do now is laying the groundwork for all our future boundaries. But, it's so hard not to laugh half the time. Oh well, pick your battles.

I'd love advice, too.

jess

i wonder about that myself- what do i do when my four month old bundle of joy turns into the terror of clutter, bodily fluids and intentional disobedience i see in 1 and 2 year olds

LauriJon

It's all a matter of boundary testing to further help them define themselves and their world. I'm a first time mom so it's also new to me. Sometimes it's hard not to think that they're doing something mean on purpose, like pulling the cat's tail for the umpteen time, especially when they flash that mischevious grin. But when Cella does that she's testing my response and what she can do. She's really a sweet and loving child.

Now at 27 months, when she pulls the cat's tail, I tell her that's not acceptable behavior, that she's hurting the cat, and she's going to sit on her time out chair because she's acting out of control. (A book I read said to say 'out of control' vs 'bad behavior' because at this age it's easy for them to label themselves bad vs just the behavior.)

And when she's pouring dry cheerios from one cup to another and she purposely spills them on the floor. I tell her, "Maricella, don't spill the cherrios, on the floor, that's food and now we can't eat it." When she does it a second time, then I say "Cella, Mommy said don't spill the cheerios on the floor, and since you didn't listen, they're going away." And I take them away.

An option would also be to give her something she could spill on the floor like beads. In that case I'd say "We don't spill food on the floor, but if you want to play with something like that here are some beads in these cups." (Although I know toddlers have to be age appropirate to play with small beads then susbstitute something she can spill and play with.)

Maricella also purposely spills water on the floor when given it in a "big girl cup." She'll drink some first then spill it. When she does that I tell her, "Maricella, we don't spill water on the floor. Now you'll have to drink out of your sippy cup instead of a big girl cup."

Again, it's all just boundary testing but yes, it can get to you after awhile. Just remember that they're learning how to be.

karrie

Ah the language he speaks is STOOGE, not Scrooge. That's me...hehe

karrie

Michelle, I have an 18 month old Bwild. (Part baby, part child, all wild). I have no suggestions to offer, only commiseration. And a bit of envy, since he's still communicating primarily in Scrooge (duckle, duckle, duckle mama) so "'top it" would make my heart melt right now. :)

What struggles have we faced? Here are a few from the past two days alone:

-Gymboree particpant name tag switcheroo. Charming at first, but climbing into the lap of a strange father-man and sticking a nametag on his crotch stolen from a child named Chloe, eh, not so much. Wheels on the bus, anyone?

-Attempting to escape the gym babysitting room once and for all, by climbing out over the registration desk. Any day now I expect a page letting me know that he's splashing in the hot tub.

-Poop painting, while "duckling" and interjecting a "Baaaaaad caaaaat" here and there. Passing the buck already...lol

No just brings out the giggles and smirks. As in, "oh Mama, servant of mine, its just so cute when you try and act as though you're in control here."

Wish you lots of luck and possibly someone will have good advice.....

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