Are you going to find out?

by Kristin

I have come to the near midpoint of my pregnancy and Monday will mark the big ultrasound. For many people, the overriding question is whether to find out the sex of the baby.  Not for us. My husband and I have felt strongly that we are "people who find out."  With our daughter, there was not a chance in Vegas that we weren't going to find out if possible.

And now, with number two, we feel the same way. My whole philosophy is that there are enough surprises in the whole process that I would take one less thing to obsess over. It's sort of like the people who have outdoor weddings versus those who don't. Do you obsess for a year about what the weather will be like or do you just have it inside?   

We got married inside.   

Now, I know that it would be cool to be surprised. But really how much of a surprise is it?  It's either a boy or a girl. Pretty known quantities. And I know that it's not foolproof.  I've heard all the warnings about the woman who decorated her nursery with flowers and bought all the pink clothes and then had a boy. (By the way, does anyone know that person in real life? Because I have never met her. Sometimes I think those stories are simply mother-in-law urban legends.)

My husband thinks it's a boy.  And my four-year-old daughter is convinced that it is a girl. For her, I think there is quite a lot of wishful thinking going on -- as a baby girl sounds much more interesting than some creature who potentially may not have taken the Disney Princess Appreciation Course.  And I think it might be a little wishful thinking on my husband's part also -- he is hoping against hope that there might be balance to the estrogen dominance in our household. He is looking for a creature who can appreciate the reasons why one must watch the same exact editions of ESPN's SportsCenter in a back to back fashion.

And me? I go both ways. On one hand, I would love to balance out the tables and have a boy for our family. But in another way, I know what to do with a girl.  I have all the clothes and toys boxed up in age increments in the basement (trust me, it doesn't look as organized as it sounds). I would love to reuse some of it. We have pretty much decided that two children is our limit, so if I don't have another girl, I will have to start giving it all away. But if I go with my gut, I am feeling like giving it all away isn't going to be necessary yet.  This pregnancy has been somewhat different than my first, but I still feel like it might be another girl.

Rather than obsessing for the next twenty weeks, I am just going to see if the kid cooperates and is reclining in full spread eagle come Monday.  It will all be secondary to simply making sure that the baby is healthy.  That is the only thing I truly obsess over.

Kristin is married to her high school sweetheart and the mother of one daughter, Madeline.

Comments

[erin]

We wanted to find out but our little bundle of joy wouldn't co-operate enough to know for sure. The lady said I think it's a girl but I can't be sure. So we sat on pins and needles the entire pregnacy. Both of us were certain it was a boy.
We were wrong it was a girl. My husband says when we have more he doesn't want to know. I on the other hand am not sure. It would be nice to know but then again the surprise was priceless.

[Robin P]

My sister in law was told she was definitely having a boy with her first pregnancy. My niece will be 14 years old next month and she is definitely NOT a boy.

That being said,I am very impatient and couldn't wait 40 whole weeks until my child was born. At my 5 month ultra sound,I was told I was having a girl. The nurse was right! Lillianna is the girliest girl I know.

There are really only 2 options unless you include multiples,which will certainly surprise you.

I completely understand people who find out the sex of their baby prior to birth since I was one of them. I don't understand the ones that don't find out because I can't imagine having that kind of patience......lol.I admire those who can wait but I would never be one of those people.

At my ultra sound,Lillianna's legs were crossed at first and I nearly jumped off the table. We all yelled,"Uncross! Uncross!" finally she did. It made the rest of my pregnancy more relaxing for me.

[Kate]

We were surprised both times. Technologically speaking. I knew, from the moment I found out I was pregnant, what sex each kid was.

Plus, you're right, there are only two options and I wasn't subjecting myself or my fetus to any unnecessary medical procedures just too find out. In an era when health care is costing more and more and insurance is covering less and less, I think it's important to conserve care for when it's really needed to ensure health, not just to satisfy curiosity.

[Ann]

I was one of those "want to know" but I certainly understand the want to wait theory.
I do personally know one gal who found out with two- yes two- ultrasounds that it was definately a boy. And usually when they say boy, it's usually right. And she not only did the nursery in blue... she went ahead and bought monagrammed outfits..... and when their little GIRL arrived she didn't have anything to wear home! Needless to say, when they were expecting baby #2- they choose to NOT find out!

[Mrs. Davis]

When I found out in my second pregnancy that we were having another boy, I settled into the pregnancy in a whole new way. But it also made the decision stop at two (a decision I thought I was prepared to make) much harder.

[Rebekah]

I decided not to find out for both of my girls and personally enjoyed not knowing boy or girl, but I can understand wanting to know. If we try for a third, I'm thinking I might find out. But, in the case of both of my daughters, I asked the L&D staff to not tell me the sex, but rather let my husband have a look and then have him tell me (both my girls were c-section, so anything to make it more fun!) Having my husband tell me that we were the proud parents of beautiful baby girls and hearing their cries in the background are without a doubt the most amazing moments I've ever experienced. But I don't think it's any different if you know beforehand or not...there's nothing like hearing your baby cry for the first time!

[Sasha]

I know one person who was told they were having a girl. Baby John came along as a surprise to everyone.

[Nicole]

I didn't find out with either of my boys. That surprise in that moment after all of that pain and agony is irreplacible, imo. That being said, the next time I am going to find out! I have to know what it is like both ways.

[Allie]

I actually personally know two people that thought they were having one thing and the baby came out another. You're right, it's not foolproof. I am currently 21 weeks along and didn't find out with my daughter and won't find out this time. I don't know what it is that makes me want to wait, but I just do. Since we waited with my daughter, we have lots of neutral clothing and a neutral nursery theme so we won't need to rush out and buy gender-specific items. After a while I'm sure we'll get lots of clothing from family if we end up having a boy, but if we don't, we'll buy some. I think it's just a personal choice -- though most people think I'm nuts for waiting. Either way you get surprised, whether it be at the ultrasound or at the birth. Good luck :)