There goes my baby

by Kris

My 10-month-old has leapt out of the nest, all fuzzy head and uncoordinated limbs. She wiggles her butt down the hallway. She hangs on the kitchen stool, tipping it over on herself. She climbs onto the stair in the family room, and now she’s tipping. I race across the room and catch her in my arms.

Scurrying across the floor, she glances back at me over her shoulder. I watch, seeing the scene for what it is: my baby crossing the one-way bridge to toddlerhood. Just a few weeks ago, she didn’t even notice me singing "This Little Piggy." Now, she watches as I grasp each toe, giggling in advance of the big-tickle finish. She waves bye-bye. She says, "Dada." She screams during diaper changes. Soon, she’ll throw tantrums, run through the grass, ask a billion questions, say she hates me. Already my hip’s lost its place as her favorite seat in the house.

Meanwhile choking hazards populate every corner, appearing out of nowhere. I attach Swiffer Dusters to my feet. I put the vacuum away only to find her holding a piece of popcorn. I find her in the dishwasher, up the stairs, under the coffee table, elbow-deep in the VCR.

Pregnancies don’t get easier with experience, why should this?

Putting on her pink fleece jammies, I see it. The three plump rolls on her thighs have been replaced by two small ones. Are they even rolls? Or is it just a simple crease in her skin?

I give myself a pep talk. Don’t be the mom who mourns every stage. How sad it would be if she couldn’t crawl or stand. Celebrate the milestones!

Still, I imagine ways to fatten her back up: butter on toast, avocado for lunch, egg yolk in her porridge.

But I know, I can’t make it stop. My baby is growing up before my eyes. As her mom, all I can do is help her along. And feed her bacon.

Kris is a thirtysomething stay-at-home mom who lives north of Boston with her family.

Comments

[john]

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[Kristi]

Kris, you're making me go hug my baby girl. Darn, she's sleeping. I'll have to comtent myself with imagining her own little chubby thighs.

[sunShine]

I know how you feel. My little one is almost 6 months and everyday he is growing up a little bit more. I am trying not to mourn the passing days, but yet celebrate the coming milestones.

[Lucinda]

Oh, the memories. Kris, it only gets better. Every month, I wish she'd never change, and yet the next month is better than the last. :)

At least until they hit 13...

[Erin]

My baby is 10 months also. I thought I'd be happy to see her exploring her world and discovering everything. It just reminds me how precious every minute is and to treasure it.

[abogada]

I know exactly what you're saying. Mine is 20 months old today, and no one told me that it would be this hard to let my baby grow up. I feel like such a bad mom sometimes, because I'm not always happy inside that she's growing up and away from me. But, I keep it to myself so that she'll never know that I'm not celebrating with her.