by Kristen C.
I always wonder if anyone would watch the MTV "Diary of a Mother with Toddler." I mean if watching Beyonce make her bed or Christina Aguilera dress her dog is considered entertaining, then imagine how riveted audiences would be watching me do both while changing a poopy diaper and eating a tuna sandwich. Granted that even though I'm far from Bootylicious, and the only Dirty I'm singing about is the snot and milk on my shirt, I still think I'm onto something.
While following Mandy Moore around on her Starbucks, personal training session, and movie voiceover adventures might seem rather exciting (for your 12-year-old Mandy Moore obsessed son, perhaps), I'm thinking America might prefer watching a first time mother as she attempts to buy a coffee and drink its contents before it either gets cold or is spilled all over her, all while entertaining a broken-legged 20-month old with her rendition of Candy (song or edible kind - take your pick). Now that's talent.
Or, perhaps you prefer watching Jessica Simpson complain about the paparazzi following her around all day long. YAWN. Try being chased around all day by a babbling toddler and then come talk to me. Crazy men with cameras would be welcome relief. They do have doors on your bathroom, don't they Jessica? I don't think I've had a private pee in almost two years.
And while it's great to see Shakira rehearse for her upcoming tour, I think the dance I have to do each and every day to get my daughter to sleep is way more entertaining. Sure I'm wearing the same clothes I wore to bed and the gym, but my rock, shake, jiggle, and drop is pretty darn hypnotic.
So if people tell me that my life is boring or that they think they know what it's like to be a mother, I'll swing my hair back, smile wide, and say in my very best voice, "You May Think You Know, But You Have No Idea." My diary. My life. Seems exciting enough for me.
Kristen is a former college music professor turned stay-at-home-mother/rock star to her 20-month-old daughter, Quinlan.