All by myself

By Kristin C.

I should have known it would come around to bite me in the butt. But I still did it anyway. It was funny. You know, laughing at the kids wearing a backwards shirt, mismatched socks, and shoes on the wrong feet. I used to wonder why the mom just let them go without trying to fix it. I mean, at least switch the darn shoes around.

And then I woke up with a near-2-year-old. Let’s just say I get it now.

It started with clothing choices. I’d set out a nice shirt/Capri combo and she’d refuse to put it on. And remembering the helpful motherly advice I was given by those experienced mom types (yes, the kind you actually want to get), I decided to pick my battles. How bad do I really want her to wear that outfit? So, into her drawers she would dive and pull out whatever suited her mood – yellow pooh shirt with pink flowered shorts and a red hat.  Lovely combo.

Those outfits were an easy fix. All I needed to do was change her diaper and I could switch something else on her. She’d never know the difference and I’d save myself a few public chuckles.

But then she figured out how to actually put on her own clothes. So, not only does she now have to pick out her own clothes, but she must put them on, all by herself, no matter how long it takes. Take today, for instance. She had on a pink shirt, a yellow dress, socks, and sandals. It took her almost 30 minutes, but by gum, she was dressed. So what if the shoes were on the wrong feet and the shirt wasn’t intended to worn with that particular dress (or any dress, for that matter)? She did it herself. And I didn’t dare go near her.

The other day we went out to the grocery store. She was wearing her dress on backwards (circa 1990’s Kriss Kross) and her sandals on the wrong feet. And while she sat in the cart quite proudly, I attempted to zip through the store as fast as possible so not to endure the laughs and giggles I was sure to get.

But then, as we turned passed the tomatoes and towards bananas, I saw a sight for sore eyes. A little boy, just my daughter’s age, sat in his cart with his shirt on backwards and his shoes on the wrong feet. And instead of laughing, I smiled and him, and then at his mother. And then we both laughed – with, not at, each other.

Kristen is a former college music professor turned stay-at-home-mother/rock star to her 20-month-old daughter, Quinlan.

Comments

[g]

How I miss those days! I enjoyed reading this very much. The other day my 9 year old and I went out and she sported her shiny blue bike gloves (you know, the fingerless kind?) with her cargo shorts and t-shirt (from a relative's vacation). Her feet were geared to go in flame print sneakers and at the store she picked out these ginormous gold sunglasses because they had a rhinestone studded cat in the middle. I told her she looked "creative." In my red/white striped shirt and black capris, I was told I looked "like a pirate."

[Kelly]

I just came from a trip listening to my childless brother and sister-in-law complain about how parents were raising their children today. Two days into the trip they found out they were expecting their first child. I have never laughed so hard. I can't wait until their little willful child pops out!

[Mommy off the Record]

What a cute post!

The sad thing is that sometimes my son has his clothes on backwards when WE dress him...mornings are hectic sometimes, ya know?

[Elizabeth]

Quinlan is adorable! It's hard to imagine such a teeny little person dressing themselves. My boys were always completely uninterested in clothes and would wear whatever I put on them with no complaint.

I'm guessing my daughter will be another story.

[Mom101]

Oh, what a great story! Frustrated fashion mom finds redemption in the produce aisle.

Q couldn't look less cute if she were wearing a Red Sox outfit. Okay, maybe a Red Sox outfit.

[Beth]

I am totally learning that lesson right now. My daughter wants to be a ballerina. So, even if i convince her to wear real clothes, she has to put her tutu over top. Ah, good times!

[Stacy]

Great story. I wrote a post about this once. My daughter doesn't dress herself so much yet but she does have very specific preferences when it comes time to get dressed. A lot of the time though her mismatched outfits are my fault because mommy forgets to do the laundry and grabs whatever is clean!

[wheresthecoffee]

Q looks adorable! I wish I could tell you it gets better, but my four and half year old only seems to be getting worse (though she figured out the right feet pretty quickly). They should market stickers proclaiming "I dressed myself!" to all mothers of preschoolers.

[Heather B .]

Folks, my kid is 5 and STILL changes like a fashion plate several times a day! She does most of the time ask me to tell her if it doesn't match, though. Now, my 3 yr old- he will go back to the laundry to put on the very same clothes that he wore 5 days ago, then 4, then 3, then 2, and yesterday. I try to hide them, but he always finds them and manages to put them back on. It's not that they really are particular favorites, mind you. It could be any outfit he wore the other day that he's decided he wants to revisit multiple times over. I do NOT let him in public in the dirty duds, though!

[Jenn C]

That's funny. I was very prepared for the insanity of childhood outfits, but my daughter has always been concerned that she look "beautiful" and almost always asks me for advice about what she should wear, and which shoes should go with it, and so on. (Of course, that doesn't stop her from having som truly remarkable outfits when it's Daddy's turn to get her dressed.)

[Kristin]

This morning I actually told Eva that we do not wear brown flip flops with black pants... then, I shut my big mouth.

Your daughter is darling!

[Amy]

Yes, my daughter's been doing this almost two years - she's three and a half. Some of the outfits are hillarious! We do have some rules to keep her from freezing, etc. - but it was her first big show of independence.

[FishyGirl]

My two year old does the same thing. I've set down 2 rules - 1, it has to be appropriate for the weather - no winter coats here in 90 degree 80% humidity DC summer, and 2, she can't change her clothes 20 times a day. Though watch it with the shoes on backwards - Sunny learned the hard way that when you run and your shoes are on the wrong feet, it can make you fall down with disastrous consequenses. I just tell her "Switch your shoes" and she does it herself. Q is adorable, and obviously very proud of herself.

[Nancy]

Yep, I remember being silently scornful of those parents whose kids looked like a train wreck. But little did I understand then about picking battles, and how proud the kids can be when they figure out how to choose an outfit and dress themselves. There's bigger fish to fry.

[mothergoosemouse]

K, she looks so much like a little girl I knew back east (daughter of a former co-worker). So beautiful.

Picking the battles - very key. I decided to ignore the hideous combos and insist that she only wear ONE outfit each day. I am not her personal laundress, and life is not a fashion show.