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June 20, 2006

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clifford

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Code Yellow Mom

Postscript to my comment: I know that denigrate is spelled with an "i." :)

And also, I left out one other important concept: If we are only measuring our worth and value to society by the bottom line, in terms of monetary rewards for risk, then maybe Linda Hirshman is right. However, life has taught me that my self and what I do and who I will ultimately be as a person is worth infinitely more than a dollar bill, or even millions of them. Ask my mom, and ask my kids.

Code Yellow Mom

"[Housework and rearing children] do not require a great intellect, they are not honored and they do not involve risks and the rewards that risk brings."

What?! I think one important thing that has been overlooked here is that at one time the things women did for a family were honored and respected as much as they were integral to family life. Granted, it was not always verbally appreciated or acknowledged the way that it should have been, but perhaps one thing that mommy blogs deomnstrate is that there is another way to draw attention to women's vital role in society, and gain a sense of community and strength besides vocally relegating their lives as mothers to the obsolete heap. It is not obsolete, it never will be. Blogging has cured the sense of isolation and uselessness I once felt because of the vocal denegration I grew up hearing about being "just" a mom. I have found that the great fault with women's so-called "liberation" is that denegrating the arduous, real, relentless and necessary work that intelligent and educated women do every day, working outside and inside the home, denegrates the women themselves. It seems that the first step would be to honor it and the women who do it by not minimizing what really goes on in our homes.

I would also point out that statistically, the next generation has a better chance of being educated if their mothers are.

And I would wager that there are just as many women living lives of "quiet desperation" in the corporate world, even though they seem to have all the "rewards" that "risk" brings.

Until the "old libbers" realize the true costs, risks, and rewards of motherhood, and recognize the talent, stamina, and pure heart it takes keep a home - that it is equal to their corporate counterparts - they will never see or enjoy the true power and potential for change and progression that women can exert.

Before we try to be equal to men, we need to understand that all work that we as women do, whether it is in the home or in the office or factory, is equally valuable to our society.

Robin P

My dream is to be a full time SAHM,unfortunately,I have to work 32 hours a week. We need dental benefits and more cash than Rich can provide with one job.

I have juggled my schedule around Lillianna's schedule to make it all kind of work. I am gone all weekend (20 hours of work) while Lil is home with Rich so at least I don't worry about chld care on the weekend.

She goes to my mom on Tuesday from 3pm-6:30pm and then I work on Thurs 7:30am-1pm while she is in school. During the summer....another day at my mom's.

I am jealous of SAHMs because I would love to be one and have more time to be with Lillianna and volunteer in her school. I am working towards that goal.

I don't understand why there is still this battle between the 2 sets of moms. I do what is best for me and my family and I don't actually care what other moms are doing.

I am proud to be a good mother. I enjoy teaching Lillianna new things. Sometimes we just snuggle together and you can't put a price on that.

As for blogging....people are just stupid. When you put words together,that's called writing! I enjoy the support of other moms. How can someone put down blogging as if it's not a real thing? If it wasn't real,I wouldn't be typing this comment!

I had a child because I wanted to love her and teach her and be with her. If I didn't want to invest the time,I would've bought a goldfish instead!

Antique Mommy

It's not as though education is wasted on being a SAHM. An educated mother has more to offer children and it's more likely that her children will be educated as well. Education is a path to enlightenment, not just employment and as such it is never wasted.

Izzy

I couldn't even finish that article. The woman is, IMO, an arrogant ass.I will never see eye to eye with her and I refuse to give her an iota of thought beyond this comment. Congrats on going AWOL :)

Stacy

I’m also a full-time working mom who finds the time to blog. Fortunately, for me, I’m the boss and can make my own hours. If I were a SAHM that would not be possible. I give all SAHMs a lot of credit. It’s the hardest job and most selfless job.

I’m rethinking the SAHM scenario for me. A close friend, with small children, is about to pass from breast cancer. It puts a whole new perspective on life and what’s important. I want to be closer to my children now than ever.

Kristen

Amen. Leaving the rat race to care for and teach my own children is the only thing that made sense to me. It was what I wanted to do. It's what I've always wanted to do. I remember growing up thinking, "what will I do when I want to have children? How will I take of them when I have to work? Who do I choose to take care of them? Is it okay for ME to take care of them?" Because all the women I knew worked. I had maybe one friend whose mom I knew stayed at home, but everyone else's mom worked. I didn't even think I had an option. Women have the right to do whatever they want. Work some, stay at home some, go back to work later or not. Mostly people "work" to make money and to provide a living. Not because it's so much freakin' fun. My kids are the best job ever and I'd do it for free. Oh, wait...I do!

Mom2Chaos

I'm a work at home mom. When my daughter was about 9 months old, I decided that I would go on an extended leave of absence because I had had it with working and trying to be a mom at the same time. I thought that I wasn't being a good mom...that good mom's stay home. I let the nanny have a vacation for a few weeks and told her I'd call her when I was ready to go back to work, not really knowing when that would be. Turns out, I called her after 2 weeks. I am not a good SAHM. I need an outlet, I need a break from the baby. I found out that I was a better mom when I was working then when I was fully dedicated at home. I now work 30 hours a week exclusively from home and still go to mommies group. Everyone's experience is different. Happy kids come from happy mommies...if you're not happy working, then be a SAHM and vice versa. One size does not fit all! Can you imagine if you told children they should all be the same? Hah!

Charli

It is time women grew up, ladies! There is absolutely NO POINT in arguing about working away from home or in the home or stay at home or whatever! The only reason that these "mommy wars" (which I refuse to participate in) are around is because women feel the need to justify their decisions. GET OVER IT LADIES! You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. You should NOT be criticizing each other. This is one of the reasons why we are still striving for total equality- because we can't seem to stop bitching at each other and totally unite. If for some reason you are experiencing guilt or some other reason that you feel put out and so you think you have to justify your decisions- then you should be looking inside yourself, not criticizing other women for their decisions! If we all start ignoring these articles by women who are more or less doing what I talked about above, then there will be no more of them! These articles are being written because they are being read and talked about. Lets end it NOW!

Amy

What about the women who blog about their lives from work?! I've always felt like working gave me more free time than if I'd stayed home - because stay-at-home moms - particularly of young children - don't get the chance to take 30 seconds for themselves, much less a whole minute by themselves in the bathroom! As a working mom, I've always WAY admired stay-at-home moms. I'd like to think there really isn't a "war" - at least not among the moms who understand that neither choice is ever easy.

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