Dreading the Dentist

By Michelle

When my son turned three, I booked his first dental appointment. I cheerfully thumbed through the yellow pages, looking for the Dentist of Sweetness and Light (aka, a pediatric dentist). I had visions of a kindly man, my son obediently opening his mouth, and a treasure chest of little toys for the end of the visit. Wishful thinking on my part.

The office had an open layout, and four dental chairs were side by side. My son took one look at the 11-year-old having a filling done and thought she was having her mouth shredded with a power sander. He started bawling as soon as he reached the chair and refused to open his mouth. The visit was doomed from the start.

Not to be defeated, I bought an electric toothbrush to prepare him for the second visit.  We read stories about dental visits, and I assured him that it wouldn't be a problem.  When we went to our next appointment six months later, he was fine up until he sat in the chair. Then the crying began. The hygienist didn't want to pressure him. "We don't want him to have a bad experience," she assured me.

But in my mind, I knew we were rewarding the behavior. He had learned that crying meant he wouldn't have to have his teeth cleaned. We were on dangerous territory. I cancelled the third visit.

Instead, I brought my son to watch me get my own teeth cleaned. My dentist's office has private rooms, which I thought would work better for us. My son stood about ten feet away, his eyes huge. When the hygienist asked if he wanted to come closer to see better, he replied, "No, thank you." By the end of the visit when he realized that his mother was not going to be sacrificed upon the Chair of Doom, he started to relax. I booked a dual appointment for the next visit. I would go first, and his appointment would be second.

On that fateful day, my boy happily assisted the dentist, holding the suction tube "Mr. Thirsty." And when it was his turn to sit in the chair, you can guess what happened. He started to cry. By this point, I knew the game. 

"Would you like me to go into the waiting room?" I asked. (Translation: We are NOT booking a fourth appointment.)

"No," he sobbed. Luckily, the hygienist helped me by taking matters slowly. She counted his teeth with a gloved finger instead of the pick. When he realized that wasn't so bad, he let her bring out the tooth polisher. Though he was scared, he allowed her to clean his teeth.The hygienist, also refrained from using the water squirter or the suction tube. Instead, she gave him a paper cup of water to swish around. The visit was a success.

In the end, my son walked around smiling like a game show host. "See my teeth?  They're clean!" he proclaimed to anyone who would listen. He proudly collected two toys from the treasure chest, and we set up his next appointment.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have visited the pediatric dental offices first.  That way I'd know to avoid the open layout. Second, I would ensure that my son watched a few appointments before taking him to his first one. That would eliminate the fear of the unknown.

How did your child's first dental visit go?  What tips would you recommend? 

Michelle lives with her husband and children in southeastern Virginia, where she teaches sixth-graders and also writes historical romances.

Comments

[Michelle]

Jill, I would LOVE to have a dentist like that. I think my son would really love it. Haven't found such a thing in our area yet.

Abogada--good luck with the fillings!

[abogada]

My daughter had her first visit at around 18 months with a pediatric dentist. The hard part for us was finding one who was supportive of breast feeding after a year, but we finally did. Even though we got a tour, he saw my daughter in a small side room. She sat on her dad's lap, facing him, and leaned back onto the dentist's lap (his and my husband's knees were touching). It worked out well.

We've done that twice now, and she's OK with it. Unfortunately, we need to have some cavities filled next time. She'll get a valium cocktail and possibly NO2. That's scheduled for 7/10, and I'm dreading that.

[Jill Asher]

So first, I am the biggest wimp and a terrible role model for going to the dentist. My husband has to make my appointment and ensure that I go... I am awful.

I do take my daughters to a pediatric dentist, and they are incredible! They have movies playing on the ceiling and the children wear a headset, so they don't hear the drilling noise - which is terribly scarey! They also get to pick up a movie, so they are watching something they like.

I believe that most pediatric dentist's do this - or maybe just here in northern california. But it is brilliant!

My daughters (age 4 and 6) think they are going to movie when they go to the Dentist.

Good luck....
Jill
Co-Founder, Silicon Valley Moms Blog