By Kristen C.
I'm really not that competitive. I mean, I love a good game of Pictionary and Charades, but other than that, you won't see me racing down the road trying to get to the red light before Mrs. Honda Odyssey, or trying to beat the slow old lady to the shortest grocery line. I figure if there's no monetary prize or bragging rights, then what's the point?
But when it comes to my daughter, I admit to keeping score - with my husband, that is. And up until yesterday afternoon (much to my chagrin), he was in the lead by a mile.
I've been building my negative score since her infancy. My first loss happened when she decided to poop out the side of her diaper for the first time. "Who put this diaper on?" I fumed. Heh. Then I realized that I had in fact placed the questionable diaper half-way on my daughter's tiny butt. Darnit. Mommy: -1, Daddy: 0
Then there was the one and only time she has ever fallen out of the bed. Of course it just so happened that I decided to bend down and pick up the same pair of boxer shorts that always just misses the laundry basket every single day when she decides to take a dive off of the bed and onto our hard wood floor. Mommy: -2, Daddy: 0
And worst of all had to be three broken bones (two in the leg and one collarbone) in three months, all of which occurred while she was in my ever vigilant, almost eagle-like care. Mommy: -2045, Daddy: 0
To credit the husband, he doesn't rub it in, when really, by all rights, he could. Granted, I am with her for most hours of the day (and night), but still. He keeps his mouth shut. However, I have seen the smug "I'm in the lead with a score of ZERO" look every now and then. And it bugs me. Big time.
So, I can't tell you how pleased I was when my daughter skipped into the bathroom (right next to the computer room where I was working) and started popping around in front of the mirror. Curious to see what all the clamor was about, I peeked in. And to my pleasant surprise, I found her entire face covered in my favorite lipstick. It was a beautiful mask of nude shimmer moisturizing lipstick by Almay.
I quickly scooped her up and ran to our front room where my husband had been sitting about two feet away from her while she decided to give herself a lipstick facial. And I didn't say one word. I just laughed and tried out my "smug-I-finally-got-one-on-you-sucker" look.
Mommy: 0, Daddy: -1
Kristen is a former college music professor turned stay-at-home-mother/rock star to her 20-month-old daughter, Quinlan.