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August 29, 2006

Comments

Cassie

"I remind myself that my bond with my daughter is one that can't be replaced with remarriage or additional people. We're a family unit within ourselves, and she knows who her mother is."
These are powerful words. I'm glad I'm not the only Mom out there worried about this and who has a similar mantra. I just wish I was as lucky to have an ex's-wife who understood this bond and its importance.

I much enjoy your blog.

Betsy

The best strategy here is to simply 'answer the question that's asked.' In a sentence or two, if possible.

In many cases, you can do so with a clear conscience. Bonus: you can avoid those pesky details you might provide in a longer paragraphs-long answer that might trip you up sooner or later.

Cauri

As the 22-yr-old daughter of divorced parents, I have to say, you handled yourself remarkably well, and trust me, if you can continue to react this way, Isabelle is going to idolize you when she hits her 20's and understands everything from her childhood. You're very lucky that your ex found someone who can treat your daughter with love & respect, and even on the tough days, just remind yourself of that. She'll be growing up faster than you know it, and the way you handle yourself now will impact her later. You are her mom, and she will always have a strong bond with you. Stay strong, it'll be worth it, trust me =)

Maria P.

I really admire your strength of character in this situation. You are an excellent role model for your daughter and when she is grown, she will realize that. You will be one those grand women that their adult daughters hold in the highest regard.

Robin P

This isn't a divorce situation but I don't get along with one of Rich's sisters. There is nothing I can do about it. She is very difficult and petty and I have tried to make it work over the past 12 years. The truth is,I just don't like her and she doesn't like me.

Lillianna loves her auntie and always asks me why I don't like her. I was very honest with her and tried to sugarcoat it but when that didn't work,Rich told Lillianna the truth. "Your auntie has been very mean to Mommy even though Mommy has tried to be nice to her." He told her a couple of things and she understood.

We still see her and her family and I do my best to make it work for the day,but I don't like her. I never will. Lillianna knows she can still love her auntie and that it doesn't have anything to do with me. That's the best I can do for now.

You're very strong. I give you a lot of credit for being such an understanding and loving mom!!

Janet

That's a great post. You are a strong woman. I can't see myself being so nice (in any situation where I don't like someone). I roll my eyes and make up nasty nicknames all the time. (A terrible example for my daughter, but me nonetheless)
Thank you for such an honest post.

lynn

I am in this same boat with my oldest. My ex and I have both remarried and I really do like his new wife. She is great to my son and we communicate well together.

BUT, that being said, I am having some issues of my own. I have my son for the "normal" times. Get up, go to school (daycare), come home, eat, bath and bed. On the weekends he is with us, we sometimes do big special things, but not always. BUT, at his dad's, it's ALWAYS fun time. Never the boring day to day things. And my son has started to pick up on that (he is 4). SO.....it makes me sad that Dad's house is seen as the "fun" house and mine the boring one. BUT, there is nothing I can do about that and I know as he gets older, he will understand better. But for now, it kind of hurts. *sigh*

shaz

My parents divorced when I was 11 years old. My mom got re-married almost right away and we lived her and her new husband.

Although my dad moved to another country and we saw him only once a year (we did speak to him weekly on the phone), he will always be 'daddy' to my sister and I. To the credit of my mom ensuring that we knew our dad, even now at 29, I feel close to him...

Its a good idea to be more or less indifferent when discussing it with Isabelle. Don't worry... no matter what, your place in your child's heart can never be replaced!

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