Potty talk

By Karen

"We like for our students entering Exclusive - You're - Lucky - We - Even - Consider - You Preschool to be potty-trained prior to the first day of class."

These words filled me with an unreasonable amount of dread. The truth is, I've been very lackadaisical about the potty training of my 2-1/2 year old daughter, Alex. The truth is, I assumed that at some point she'd decide to wear panties on her own -- after all, how many healthy high schoolers do you know who wear PullUps?

The truth is, I was sort of hoping her preschool would handle it.

Realizing that the school had decided not to so accommodate, we've begun Potty Training Boot Camp at our house in earnest. Since returning from our summer holiday, we've eschewed PullUps for panties adorned with cute little images like stars! And bunny rabbits! And monkeys, for the love of Pete!

And because everything I've read has told me that I shouldn't scold her, and that my tone should be warm and supportive, I've been walking around sounding like one of those annoying New Age meditation audio tapes: "Alex, and noooow it's tiiiime to pee-pee in the potty. Thaaaat's it, sit comfortably on the potty. Now, relaaaaax. That's it, relaaaax."

Thankfully, after a couple of weeks, she seems to be getting the hang of it. I'm not saying she's accident-free -- there have been a few instances of her shrieking "I have to POO-POO!" while racing to the toilet like a cowgirl with saddle sores, and not quite making it. Still, it's clear she's trying, and in my book, it's the effort that counts.

What is starting to concern me, however, is that lately, my every thought and word seems to revolve around pee-pee and poo-poo. "Let's go pee-pee!" I call dozens of times a day. "Alex! You poo-poo'd!" I exclaim, usually immediately followed by the Potty Chair Cabbage Patch Celebration Dance. "Go tell [insert friend's name here] what you just did," I tell Alex excitedly, much the horror of many a recent dinner guest.

But the worst was a few days ago when I was busy pulling up Alex's panties, and she was equally busy looking into the toilet bowl, admiring her work.

"Look, Mummy!" she said, her eyes shining. "There's a Daddy poo-poo, and a Mummy poo-poo, and a Baby poo-poo!" She looked up at me, smiling widely. "And they're a FAM-ILL-LEE!"

"Yes, darling!" I beamed back, my eyes moist with pride. "A poo-poo family!"

Clearly the first day of preschool cannot come fast enough. It appears my very sanity depends on it.

Karen is a recovering attorney, now full-time writer and photographer, living in her native Trinidad & Tobago. She's currently working with specialists to ease the word "poo-poo" out of her lexicon.

Comments

[Susanne]

The pop family is too funny. Making the whole potty training experience fun is one of the best things you can do.

Yes, it gets frustrating at times, but doing your best to not only stay calm and encouraging, but make potty training fun - like doing the potty dance, it will go much faster and smoother.

[dorothy]

I think you are failing to read the sentence correctly. Here, let me show you: We'd LIKE for your child to be potty-trained.

See? So different when you look at it that way.

[jen]

Ha! I have already recovered from potty training, but this was damn funny.

Potty Chair Cabbage Patch Celebration Dance=classic.

[Marian]

Oops. I didn't mean "gestalt." I meant to say Rorschach. That would be potty Rorschach.

[Marian]

Hi! I'm here for the first time, via Antique Mommy. Yep, potty training. I'm just finishing a late job on my 3 year old, and am trying to get up the gumption to start the 22 month old. She's child #4 and easier than the others in a lot of ways, so she'll be a breeze... right? Right?? We had a funny potty Gestalt moment of our own with child #1. He looked in the potty at his work one day and said, "Look! It's a gorilla!" About 4 days later things came out (please pardon the graphic description)well, a little thin in form. He looked down and said without missing a beat, "Oh! Bananas! For the gorilla!"

[Melanie]

Wow. I just went through this myself.

With the exception that I started boot camp as soon as he could walk. I kept a potty chair out in the living room, and would sit him on it just to get him familiar with it. (my older sister, a psych major at one time, has informed me that I've likely made him anal retentive by starting too early). Honestly though, my Mom worried me by saying girls were trained earlier than boys.

He'd been enrolled in a daycare since aged 2 months, and I was informed that he would be kicked out if he wasn't fully trained by 3. :shock: Of course, they hinted about it earlier because they thought he was three, but, he was just so large they kept moving him up to the class with children his size.

He just wasn't going in the potty more than 2 or 3 times a week. I even bought him Spiderman underpants!

I was STRESSED out and YELLING at his father for not helping (I don't yell, I swear it!). And FINALLY, TWO WEEKS BEFORE HIS BIRTHDAY, he just said he didn't want a diaper, he was a big boy. That was it.

He was mad when we went on a transaltantic flight and I made him wear them, but, I was taking no chances.
He didn't use them though.

Now, diapers are a thing of the distant past. He even washes his hands all by himself and gets offended if I hover too much.

Talk about proud mommy. ;)

[samantha]

I'm not even a mom and that made me laugh. It sounds like Alex will be ready for preschool, and you've done a fabulous job.

[shaz]

My son is almost 2 1/2 and I have been trying since he turned 2... well, not exactly trying, more just pretending that I am trying. :)
My first son started at 3... almost overnight, he just decided that he was ready... hopefully that happens with this one as well.
Loved your post... I saw the word lackadaisical, and thought that I have never heard anyone use that word except in Trinidad...

[Angie]

Good job. The thing that preschool brings with it is peer pressure; she'll stop having accidents right away with that peer pressure--that is, if she doesn't stop before she goes!

[melita]

This post hits a nerve. Unfortunately our version of potty training boot camp didn't work, so my daughter did lose her spot at the preschool she was supposed to attend in September.

[Wanda]

This is a riot! The poo-poo family will stick with me for a while.

[amy h.]

THAT is a funny post! Hilarious - best of luck with the process. I was lucky enough not to have to have a potty trained child for school (they have been very accomodating) so I just waited, and waited, and waited and so on until my son decided (looooooong after 2 1/2) that he was done pooping in a diaper. THANK GOD! And thanks for the laugh!