You can tell she's a mother by her purse

By Kristen C.

As far back as I can remember, I've been obsessed with purses. I mean really. Who doesn't love a cute bag? It's like a baby, except way quieter and no sore nipples or puffy eye lids involved.

Back before the kiddo arrived, I was known for carrying the smallest purses ever. I had a ton - the bright green one shaped like a Chinese take-out box or that pink sequin number that looked like a change purse with a strap. Granted, I could barely squeeze my credit cards in them, but that was okay - because what else do you need when you're out clubbing at 1 a.m.?

I remember perusing the purse section at the local department store, staring curiously at the large gigunda handbags, and thinking "who carries these things?" I mean, seriously. They could quite possibly hold a lamp, mirror, and large ficus plant (ala Mary Poppins).

And then I saw them.

MOMS.

There they were, lugging their huge purse over their shoulder while chasing their child through the store in their socks- still wearing the clothes they were attempting to try on.

I never really got why they had such big bags. I would watch reruns of "Let's Make a Deal" with great curiosity, particularly loving the end of the show where the women would madly scavenge through their bag to finding a sewing kit or a bandaid for the chance to win $50. "A sewing kit?!" I would chuckle, until about five women in the audience would stand up in their ridiculous costumes and wave them in the air.

I guess I just didn't get it.

That is until I had kids.

Initially, I toted the ever unpopular, yet reasonably stylish diaper bag, which, in most other countries could house a family of four. I mean those bags, no matter how cute they might be, are gigantic. And I think they cause undue pressure on mothers who think "Oh no, I have an empty pouch - I must not have packed enough diapers..." when she already has a full pack stuffed in there "just in case." (Right, just in case the world ends while you're out at Target to pick up some milk and bread).

That lasted a good six months until I became a little more comfortable with the whole mothering thing and realized I didn't really need to bring diaper rash cream, 14 teething toys and my hand pump with me to the grocery store. And then I transitioned to the big purse. Yes. THAT PURSE. The one that holds 14 crayons, a bottle of bubbles, a Nutragrain snack bar, a diaper, 3 checkbooks, a cell phone and charging cord, and my wallet.

Now I'm proud of my big purse. Granted, I can't find a darn thing, even a very loudly ringing phone, but if my kid starts screaming in Old Navy, I can sit her in a dressing room, serve her a full meal, and entertain her with an educational puzzle session while I'm trying on tank tops.

And as for the small purses, they're still near and dear to my heart. But instead of packing them away, I have a little girl who totes them around just like her mama did. And in true form, she packed one up yesterday for a trip to the store - a ceramic cat, a Lego, her cell phone, and a set of keys.

Then she handed it to me to put in my purse.

And it fit just fine.

Kristen is a former college music professor turned stay-at-home-mother/rock star to her 20-month-old daughter, Quinlan.

Comments

[abogada]

Thank you for the smile.

[Maria P.]

Oh I love this post, thank you it made me smile.

[Damselfly]

Ooh, I love purses, too. More than shoes. More than chocolate (well, almost). Thanks for sharing your perspective -- I'll be toting a giant mom bag soon.

[anne]

How funny! Love it.

[Mom101]

Ha, great essay Kristen! If it makes you feel any better, there is one more category of women that carries gigunda bags besides moms...

New Yorkers.

See, we don't have cars to throw things in. So we just carry everything we own--gym clothes, change of stockings, extra pair of shoes, contents of medicine cabinet, books, magazines, more magazines, bottle of water--all right on our shoulders all day long.

[Suburban Turmoil]

Thank God the big ass purse is TOTALLY HOT right now! Yay us!

[Jennifer]

I thought I was the only mom with that dilemma! I still haven't solved it completely to my satisfaction, even with a 14-month-old.
I've got a pretty small purse that houses the "essentials" - wallet, phone, keys. Then there's the Skip Hop diaper bag that clips to the stroller, for those times when you're out for a while, say, at Target or an afternoon at the mall. Space for a few diapers, small toys, snacks, and I'll often throw in my cell phone, wallet, and keys.

Then there's my "non-baby" bag. When I head out to teach or run errands without kiddo, I need something to get me around NYC and house my essentials like book to read on the subway, umbrella, and - I kid you not - the emergency disaster kit, complete with mini flashlight, fm radio, spare batteries, matches and swiss army knife. Hey, it's NYC. And of course, room for wallet, cell phone, and keys.

So I hardly ever carry my real purse any more, which means I never have the lip balm, check book, or eyeglass screwdriver on hand.

Obviously haven't solved my bag dilemma, so it's good to see I'm not alone.

Jennifer

[Kathleen Marie]

Buy the cute little purse for the night when you and your sexy hubby have a night out. Pamper yourself. Feel like a sexy woman again! Trust me on this. It is important! Funny blog by the way!

[Jennifer]

Oh thank God somebody out there understands! I STILL have friends trying to do the cute, little purse-thing in vain. Don't get me wrong, if I could get away with it I'd be right there alongside them. So far I've gone the route of the very first diaper bag in the form of dark blue with Winnie the Pook and pals splattered all over it (Yeah, Hubby loved that one! not!), to cute (but not functional) backpack diaper bag; then on to a chartreuse over the shoulder number that passed as a normal purse and got tons of compliments (to Hubby's surprise), and now I don a sporty, red backpack that doubles as a messenger bag should I decide on a change.

It houses EVERYTHING and kills my back, but the very minute I take ANYTHING out of it is when I desperately need it the most.

Sure, Hubby complains that I never answer my phone when he calls; but at least my kids have a mini version of their wardrobe, snacks for an entire day and toys of every caliber to save my sanity during those 'just in cases'.

Again, loved your post and so glad to see that someone relates!

[Elizabeth]

I own plenty of giant purses, but the problem I have is that once in a while, I get to leave the house ALONE to run up to the store. And then, all I need is my wallet, keys and cell phone. I can't find a cute purse SMALL enough to carry just those three things! I may have to resort to using those free totes that come with the Clinique "bonus time" stuff.

[mothergoosemouse]

I carried a purse in middle school - two adorable miniature duffel bags with a patch of cross-stitch material on them, where I personally cross-stitched my monogram. So preppy.

In high school, we were warned that NOBODY carries a purse, so I put all of my "essentials" in the pocket of my backpack.

Even in college, I never carried one. Just a little ID card holder with my student ID and dorm room key attached.

In the Air Force, I didn't carry a purse either. Have you seen military issue purses? Barf.

Finally, I moved to NYC, where your bag reflects your identity. I don't have a lot of bags, but I love those I do have. The one I carry most frequently is a black nylon Prada backpack - hopelessly out of style now, but extremely handy when hauling around two kids. And dude - it's Prada. I'm not ready to chuck it just yet.

[Robin P]

So funny.......all moms can relate to this.

Lillianna is almost 9 so I've been out of the diaper bag stage for ages but darn it all....I miss that big old bag.

I want something for daily use that is as big as a piece of carry on luggage on wheels! I need it!! I cart around a lot of crap. Here are some of the essentials I have in my bag:
Liquid bandage bottle (you just never know when you'll get a boo-boo)

Bandaids (see reason above)

Huge wallet with checkbook (no money....just checks!)

2 I.D. badges- one for each job.

Cell phone

silver holder for Splenda packets!(monogrammed with my initials and a coffee cup. It was a gift from my soon to be brother in law)

A large overnight Always pad (that is discreetly zipped in a side pocket. My friends appreciate that I have one if they need it!)

My diabetes test kit

Some type of snack bar in case my blood sugar is an issue

Make-up case

3-4 packages of mints (Working so close to patients,I try to have sweet smelling breath.)

address book

The list is endless!!!!!!!!
Sometimes,I fear I can't leave home. What if I NEED something????

I have to add that I always thought a true mom would have linty chicklets at the bottom of her purse....just like my mom did. The package of gum always spilled inside and I'd rub off the lint before chewing it.....lol.

Great post.

[thebizofknowledge]

I stumbled upon this site as I was in the process of doing some online research. It's amazing how reliant we are on technology these days. Who could have foreseen them invading our purses?

[Darci McGrath]

So know this story...I love it. I thought now that I had 2 teenagers I could downsize...nope because they have cell phones, iPods, and wallets. One day...but then I wil be sad.