The big month

By Melissa

This is it. It’s time, so says our carefully laid out plan. It’s time to make a baby. And I’m suddenly terrified.

For years, I wanted to have a third child but someone never wanted it. That’s right. I wanted a baby but my husband most certainly did not. His reasons were always good, too good. We had two kids already, we were both in college, kids are hellions on wheels, we both worked outside the home, the marriage needed help, we then started new careers, the laundry was never done, the cats looked jealous already, the living room paint wasn’t dry…

Whatever, I’d say. Let’s do this thing. Logical Schmogical. And yet we waited, because no way no how was I going to have another child without his expressed joy and enthusiasm. I’ve been down that road and it blew. Mightily.

Yet one glorious day, he looked at me and said it. “Let’s have another baby.”

I, naturally, collapsed in puddle of laughter before looking up, tears in my eyes, “Are you kidding me, because that’s not funny.”

He meant it. The plans were ironed out, the vague notion of when it’s “right” began to form. And lo, here we are. I’m useless, frozen, terrified.

Kids are hard. Babies are hard. Pregnancy is hard. Childbirth is HARD. I really don’t like to do things that are difficult. Easy does it for me, darling.

I want my body to get healthier every time I eat a cookie. I want the car to wash itself. Likewise, I want our next baby to magically appear on a fluffy white cloud, bathed, fed, and slumbering peacefully so I can simply bury my nose in his fine baby hair for a few hours.

I have a feeling it’s not going to work out that way. Scary.

Melissa is a thirty-year-old art historian and mama to two boys (11 and 10) living in Missouri. She and her husband are threatening to have another baby.

Comments

[Maria P.]

Congratulations! It is utter and total chaos and expense and stress but you are going to love it. Good luck!!

[Alex]

I think it is wonderful to take on
something that is scary and, hard but, at the same time beautiful. I think that the diapers, no sleep and the endless amount of baby clothes for the laundry it what scared me the most! Good Luck!