I'm all out of nice

By Kristen C.

My husband informed me the other day that I am not nice.

I laughed.

And then told him I save all my "nice" for my daughter. And if I, per chance, have anything left to spare, I'm happy to send it his way.

But lately, "nice" has been a little hard to come by. I'm stretched thin living sans husband with my in-laws, nearly 8 months pregnant, and chasing after a 2-year-old. And after being asked "What's that?" about 2,409 times a day, and fending off multiple requests for candy that are usually made in a heinously whiny tone, I use up about all the nice that I have left.

I'd usually laugh and internally roll my eyes at my father-in-law waving my wet bra around on a hanger, my mother-in-law asking me if I know how to put a plastic bag in the small bathroom trashcan, or my husband complaining about his extra long workout at the gym.

Alone. Quietly running. With no diapers anywhere in sight.

Yeah. Must be really hard man.

But now, I feel pulled in way too many different directions. And I literally ration all my nice out to my daughter. She doesn't deserve tense responses or a frustrated tone, particularly when her grandparents are not the most patient, kind, and attentive folks who rely on television and large amounts of candy when called upon to babysit.

And so, I save all the nice patient loving understanding mom that I have in me for her.

I figure until I start getting some darn "nice" sent my way (or at least where I can wash and dry my own bras and not get instructed on skills I learned in 1st grade), it's drought season over here. Let's just hope it doesn't last too long.

Kristen is a former college music professor turned stay-at-home-mother/rock star to her 20-month-old daughter, Quinlan.

Comments

[Duddy]

Kristen, this is the most perfect expression of the basic relationship and support needs of a new mother that I have ever read!

It would be so amazing almost 7 years later, to hear about how you succeeded and the strategy you applied to successfully navigate this critical time of life, marriage and family.

Wow!

[Elizabeth Coplan]

Kirsten: I love this story about marriage. It speaks LOUDLY to mothers of challenging children -- more than you may realize. The piece would be perfect for our February edition of A Wild Ride (www.awildride.net). Let me know if we could post your piece with a link to DotMoms (or any other information you would like to include).
Elizabeth

[Karen]

You and me both sister... There's a drought here as well.

[Cathy]

Oh, Kristin, I wished you lived nearby! You need a good friend to just be with. Hope things looking better soon.

[Heather Wallace]

Hi, thought you might find this parenting story out of California to be funny...the teen years:

http://www.orato.com/node/1049

Heather Wallace
Senior Editor
Orato Media Corp.
www.orato.com