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November 22, 2006



I share this personal experience with you. I am confident that there is a significant percentage of the population that are in that same 'silent' club.
Best wishes

amy h.

I couldn't agree with you more, Anjali, and I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your child. Losing a child, no matter when it occurs, is an enormous loss.

I hope that by telling your story you are able to begin to heal. Obviously you will never forget the child you lost or the dreams that you had for this child and your family, but hopefully by allowing yourself to experience the full range of your emotions (and by helping others, which you most certainly have done!!) you can find your way to some peace.

I had a similar loss 6 years ago, and while the pain is still very real, I know that by sharing my feelings with others (and allowing myself to truly grieve for this child) I am doing much better than I would have if I had kept it all a secret.

I will tell you that what surprised me the most was the lingering anxiety, anger and sadness that hung around long after the initial crisis period was over, and longer than I thought I *should* be feeling that way. I encourage you to take good care of yourself (something we sometimes neglect as moms!), give yourself all the time you need and seek support wherever you can get it whenever you find that you need it.

You and your family are in my thoughts! Thank you for sharing your story in such an honest and personal way.


It's so true... I was pregnant with twins and lost one of them at four months. Talking about a mix of emotions... devastated that I had lost one, but relieved that the other one was alive and healthy. I did talk about it though to family and friends, but got mixed reactions. My mil sent a condolence card, but on the flip side said something like, "well, God knows best." Grrr... My sister said, "Well, at least you have one left." My mother, bless her, simply listened. My husband... well, he didn't say much then and whenever I bring it up, he doesn't really say much now. I wonder all the time about that little baby I never got to hold.


First of all, I am so sorry for your loss.

Second, hell yes! I believe that a lot of the issues we battle each day is a result of our collective silence. Silence on PPD, losing our babies, stress of motherhood, etc. Thus, there isn't a true sense in the world of what it means to be a mommy, even to those of us who are mommies.

Thank you for sharing.

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