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November 07, 2006

Comments

Rachel Ann

I don't think they were staring in a negative way, they were probably thinking, BTDT.

One of my mother's friends was in a store when her kid erupted. She stood there a minute staring down at her screaming, kicking heir, made some kind of disparaging remark about the terrible parent the child must have, and walked away. LOL...I think the kid stopped tantruming!

Dana

Wow. Your post was great. Darci is only 2 and already has these emotional outbursts on a daily basis. I often dread how bad they'll be when she's 4! But, you did the right thing, and even though it's never fun nor easy, you do what you have to. A good parenting ain't always grand. KWIM?

Robin P

One of the funniest parenting things I ever heard was on t.v.
This mom had a daughter that sounded like yours.(What child hasn't sounded like this a time or two??)

She especially enjoyed throwing a tantrum in the supermarket if she couldn't get what she whined for.

The mom,tired of the tantrums from her child and annoyed at the stares from strangers,made a small standing sign that she could take with her that said,

'CAUTION! TANTRUM IN PROGRESS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!'

As her child lay kicking and screaming in the cookie aisle,shoppers read the sign and laughed. They also gave mom a thumbs up for creativity. The tantrums didn't last long after that!

Good luck.

Nicole

Sure, you don't want people to be judging your child, but at only 4 years-old, I think that she gets a pass from most people. Focus on this though- if she is acting this bratty (with a capital B) at 14, people will definitely be judging you both and so this is just what you go through to have a well-adjusted kid later on. I often think of that when I have to sit through some difficult CIO sessions, or need to take away a "toy" that she has found and fallen in love with. When they are little they need to learn some hard lessons but the flipside is that they are little enough to be comforted by you afterwards. Its so much harder to sweep a sullen 16 year old up into your lap for a big cuddle when you make up after a big fight.

amy h.

Oh, I have so been there! With my son, at your daughter's age, I felt equally mortified and would leave places like the gym where we went for parent/tot tumble time with him screaming and kicking me and me crying almost as hard. With my daughter I have let a lot of that go - I have finally decided "let 'em stare, let 'em talk" - you are the parent and you are doing your best and you know what your child needs most of all at any particular moment (even if you don't feel like you do). Keep plugging away and try to find some support (another girlfriend/mom to vent to always worked wonders for me) and some ways to lighten up the situation (after the time-out try to get some tickle/giggle/silly acting time in for both of you). Hang in because it does get easier!

Ancarett

My autistic ten year old was hitting up until the last year. Imagine how much more mortifying it is to deal with a kid who is as large as a small adult, but gives into the moment like a preschooler!

You did the right thing and I am sure that the teacher, observing your actions, understood and probably applauded the way you stood by your principles, helping your child.

basquette

Clarity: she's four. She's got huge emotions, and no grownup skills to handle them yet. Why do you feel mortified? You're doing exactly what you should be doing - you're parenting your child! Giving her the tools she needs to control her own emotions. And anyone who looks at you in a way as to make you feel 2 inches tall, like the previous commenter's baglady (heh), is simply demonstrating their complete and utter ignorance of the facts of child development.

Karen

Wow, what a timely post! My almost 4-year old (1/13) is a hitter. Sometimes I feel like we're the only ones who have a boxer-in-training in the house.

Just recently he slugged me while we were in the check-out line in the grocery store. You should've seen the look on the cashier's face... I felt about 2 inches tall.

Normally, like your daughter, he behaves like this at home, but lately he's been doing it in other places. Right now we're working on a behaviour chart... this week he has the chance to get three stickers per day (morning, afternoon and evening). If he gets a certain amount, then he can have special time with Daddy. We're on day three and it seems to be working.

Hard parenting decisions in public - most definitely. Not easy, but I think very necessary.

As how to support one another? Don't make quick judgements - keep in mind that each child/parent/family are different. Heck, I have to remind myself of this because I sometimes find myself comparing him to his 7-year old brother who NEVER acted like this.

Hugs,
Karen

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