Five questions for "Mommy Confidential" author Mindy Roberts
She's the woman behind the one, the only, the original, "The Mommy Blog." And now, fellow DotMoms contributor Mindy Roberts has a book out -- "Mommy Confidential" -- chronicling her exploits as a blogger who's as honest about her life and her struggles as the sister you always wish you had.
I sent her five questions about writing the book. Here's what she had to say:
Meredith O'Brien: So you've got this really successful blog, "The Mommy Blog." Now you've written a new book -- "Mommy Confidential" -- which features some of the blog entries you've written over the past few years. Why did you decide to pull the book together?
Mindy Roberts: I don't remember! Wow, that's great. I have no idea. There you have it folks: the genius behind "The Mommy Blog." I think the seed was planted years ago by a co-worker whose desk I would stop by on the way to mine each morning. She'd ask, "How was this morning?" and I'd go off on a tear. It would usually end with both of us wiping away tears and holding sore tummies. She's always encouraged me to write a book, "You could be the next Erma Bombeck." Except I don't think Emma ever dropped the f-bomb.
Anyway, the blog has always been intended as a gift to my children so they could read about our family's young life, and I wanted to put it in book form. You know, to go in safe deposit boxes along with all other priceless family heirlooms. So I floated the idea and the readers went nuts. And then I noticed that I'd had over 2 million visitors since the start of the blog and decided there was a market. All I had to do was edit it, and if it paid for college, or just school pictures, how could we go wrong?
Meredith: What do you hope that readers will take away from reading "Mommy Confidential"?
Mindy: I hope that they will take away what so many people have written me privately about: It is a crushing, gushing relief to hear that they are not alone. People will tell me things (safely and via e-mail of course) just to be able to say something to someone who has been there and will not judge them. I, along with thousands of other new moms, squirmed my way through the "What to Expect" books and thought I would never make it as a mom. I read the magazines about doing yoga so that you'd have a flat tummy, serene brow, and the hooha of a 20-year-old woman 10 minutes after giving birth. They scared the living daylights out of me.
And I did the math: fully half of the things they tell you about pregnancy and childbirth and the first few months with a newborn are either not true, exaggerated toward the Pollyanna side of the spectrum, or desperately lacking in the gory kind of rough truth that would have at least prepared me for some of it. So, consider it a public service: I'll frighten you with MY stories and then maybe you'll come through your own experience thinking, "Now that wasn't so bad."
Just don't write to me to tell me the yoga really worked.
Meredith: Some of the material in the book is very personal and involves intimate details of your life, like your divorce from your husband, the father of your three kids. Did you worry at all about a backlash from family members over the book's contents?
Mindy: There is not a thing in the book that hasn't appeared in one way or another in the blog. Well, there is additional backstory, but all sensitive areas have either been on the blog for a few years or have been carefully redacted. No one -- except me, of course -- takes a basting in the book; I have tried to be very sensitive to that, just as I always will. I gave copies to my ex several times during the process, and after he searched for potentially inflammatory nuggets, he said that I had treated the sensitive stuff very well and that he couldn't wait to read the rest of it. Plus, my dad reads every day and my mom edited the book with me! My ass is triply covered. The immediate family is intimately familiar with the content and to date have not objected to its publication.
However, my kids can't read and they will probably sue my socks off. Mommy loves you.
Meredith: This book contains your thoughts on some of your great days and during some of your lowest moments, when you just want to shoo the kids away and curl up in bed. You're very honest about your feelings and about your parenting. Do you think people are too worried about what others will think of them if they admit that they're imperfect parents?
Mindy: I think that people THINK they open up to trusted ears, but I don't believe that they let the really dark stuff out very often. Even I have regretted it in the sense that on those days my mom is likely to stop by to see if the place is in shambles and whether there is food in the house. More than one blog entry has triggered an inquiry, and one resulted in an intervention. I think I wasn't so good with the funny that time. So, I think everyone has to be careful. We pick over the beans before they spill, you know? Some are separated out. Once you spill the rotten beans, they stick to you on the outside and it's hard to explain that sometimes you have to say ugly things out loud so that you don't have to feel them on the inside anymore. And that saying them sometimes makes them go away entirely, but unfortunately, they only go away for you. What was your name again? Heh.
The bottom line is that my kids will KNOW I was imperfect, but I'd like them to re-live the incredible highs with me too so they can see that I loved them enough to keep my shit together even when it was the least attractive option.
Meredith: Last question. It's a silly one. If "Mommy Confidential" were made into a movie, who would play you?
Mindy: ME! Hah. Well, if I could get Scarlett Johansson to put on 40 pounds a la Renee Zellweger in "Bridget Jones," that would be a start. Oh, and she'd have to age quickly and make her boobs look all saggy. And go broke. Actually, now that I think about it, I haven't yet seen an actress with a great, "Oh, did laughing at that make you feel good? Because I was serious" face. She'd have to have that face. People tell me about it all the time, that watching me react while telling the story is half the fun.
Oh! That reminds me: Time for my meds!
Mindy Roberts is a divorced mother who lives in the Bay Area with her three children. Meredith O'Brien is a journalist who lives with her family in the Boston area.
