The Big Bad Wolf

Courtesy: Disney

By Sarah

I don't know about other adults, because it isn't something that usually comes up in conversation, but I have scary dreams on a regular basis. I am not terrorized by sleep, but occasionally I wake up from a real doozy. Perhaps I am just an anxious person and sleep is when I work things out, or maybe it is normal to have nightmares, I'm not sure. But, until last week I didn't really give it much thought.

Last week, my two and a half-year-old had the first nightmare that she could articulate for us, and we are all still talking about it.

That day had been a rough one -- lots of dull errands to run with me and then a disastrous and upsetting play date, and, of course, no nap. At some point during the day we were stopped at a parking lot driveway waiting to turn into busy traffic and across the street was a huge sculpture of a wolf. Or, a lobo to be precise: the mascot of our state university here in town. 

Lilith thought at first that the wolf was real and asked me when it was going to move. "Just watch," I said, "it won't move, it's only a sculpture, not real." She seemed to accept that just fine.

Cut to 2 a.m. She started screaming for me. As soon as I realized she was fully awake I dashed to her room to see what's going on. "There are wolves in the house! There are wolves in the house!" she sobbed.

I climbed into her bed and cuddled her and told her, "No, it was just Mimi and Daddy and the dog and cat and no wolves are in our house."

It took her a while to calm down and I stayed with her until she fell back asleep. She was awake and afraid 30 minutes later and then I heard a huge thunk, the sound we all recognize as a toddler's head hitting the floor, and again I ran to her room.

We bumped into each other in the hallway. She assured me she was OK as she ran past me and jumped into my bed. She clung to me the rest of the night. And the scary dream was the first thing on her mind in the morning.

She was able to tell us that she dreamed there were two wolves in the bathroom. And that was the topic of conversation all that day (and into the next). We tried our best to both assure her it was just a dream (no wolves can get into our house, they live far far away, etc.) and respect the fact that it was very real to her. 

As adults we take our dreams and nightmares for granted. We may believe they have something to tell or teach us or we may ignore them altogether. But, we know they exist only in our own minds. For Lilith, this dream was really inseparable from waking reality.

She had all kinds of interesting ways of trying to deal with this nightmare, from talking about it at great length to wanting to paint and draw it.  She also wanted to take a picture of it with the camera but we had to explain we just didn't know how to do that! Still, we were happy she was willing and able to confront so creatively something that had frightened her so.

Many days and nights have passed and our sleep is back to usual here. But, every morning when she comes into my room to wake me she tells me, "No bad dreams last night!"

I was prepared for the first steps, first words, first hugs and kisses, even the first time she told me to go away, but this nightmare incident feels like a milestone too -- one perhaps more subtle but no less important or intriguing. 

Sarah Rachel Egelman is a community college instructor and freelance book reviewer who lives in New Mexico with her husband and daughter.

Comments

[mcewen]

Indeed it is a milestone. Well done you for ensuring that she's developed such excellent ways of coping that will stand her in good stead for the rest of her life.
Best wishes

[K]

I still have nightmares about wolves, I'm almost 24.

[bebemiqui]

I'm glad to hear someone else having wolf nightmares. As a child, that was the primary form of all my nightmares and when my daughter started having them, they started with wolves. She's moved on to more practical terrors now that she's five. We're currently dealing with a man who wants to cut off her brother's fingers. Them sleeping in the same room seems to have lessened their nightmares considerably and bumped up my sleep quotient.