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April 05, 2007

Comments

Mary G

My daughter came home from kindergarten and told me the principal hit her with his shoe. Story turned out to have been channeled from a book read in library time. Kids will do it. In your example above, I would count in the previous tall tale and take what she said with some scepticism. I would sure watch for the child again, however, hoping to see her with her mother and get some more information as to whether you need to act.
Thoughtful post! Thanks.

Pammer

I kinda think that we should all be "mandated reporters" - for the sake of the kids. With a healthy dose of adult curiosity and logic perhaps more kids could be safe.

RobinP

Lillianna doesn't carry Tootsie rolls in her pockets but her peers are drawn to her and they reveal some interesting details.

When Lillianna tells me,the balls in my court.

In one case,a classmate told Lillianna her mother tells her that if she wants to eat,she has to make it herself. She was 8! Then she said her sister throws her down the stairs. Sounded kind of Cinderellish to me but I sent a note to her teacher.
The child went into counseling with the school therapist. I may never know if it's true but either way,she is in counseling.

In another situation,a little girl in her class never brought a snack in so her friends secretly shared with her. She told Lillianna that the rent is too high (we live in the same apt complex and it is very high!!) so she can't afford snacks. Again,I sent a note to school and now the teacher provides this girl with her daily snacks.

It's tough to know when a child is fibbing. Hopefully,this little girl was making it all up but....WHERE THE HELL WAS HER MOTHER IN THE BUSY PARK??????

Lois Martin

Tina, what a position. I know your struggle. My grandson told me his mom, my daughter, hit him twice on the arm. I felt deep in my heart that he was telling a tall tale, but had to check it out. He was ready to move with me and call the police on his mom. My daughter was sitting there the whole time. I asked him where they were when she hit him and he looked at me and told me Sonic. Oh, he was three at the time. I then asked him if he knew what a lie was. No, he said. Long story short, he was fabricating because he wanted to go with me to my house. I had a talk with him, explaining that if things like that happen to him he should always tell, and he should never make things like that up. THen I sat my daughter down and had a long talk with her about what could have happened had he told that story at school. She and Ryan then had a talk while she was giving him his bath. I watched them interact from the sidelines and felt reassured that he was just telling a tall tale. Scary, though.

Thea

Mmm, what do you do, when you don't know the parent so you could not call anyone on them? If you confront the parent, and it is true, would it make it worse for the child?

Mommy Dearest

Oh, boy, that's a tough one. Sometimes kids are so hard to read. No matter what, you did a good thing talking with her.

pokettiger

I feel for you second guessing yourself. It is sometimes so very hard to know what to do and when to get involved.
I work in the field of adoptions with children who are in foster care. I also am married to a school teacher. In the field of social work and being a teacher you are mandated to report anything that could be abuse. This would have been one of those moments when being a mandated reporter would have been such a relief because it takes away the second guessing of what to do. When you are mandated you cannot discount anything told to you or ignore any signs of abuse you witness, you must report it to CPS.

Paulette1958

Yes well my mom did those things to me as well, I told anyone who would listen and it surely fell on deaf ears. I am a product of severe childhood trauma.
I listen then I call cps and I have it investigated.
Good post.

cce

That's a tough one but based on the 100 blind people I'd say that this little girl was telling tales for effect.
My son's best friend walks around saying he hates his mother and my gut tells me there is something seriously wrong at their house but it's only instinct not fact. Bears watching but not over reacting. Perhaps my own children walk around telling people they hate me (after all I don't allow them to watch television on weekdays). Kids are famous for hyperbole. Don't sweat it.

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