One thing I've noticed since I became a SAHM: some people just can't deal. Lately I've realized that some friendships I thought were pretty tight have dwindled to nothing. Calls are not returned, e-mails not responded to, nothing.
I realized there would be a rash of, "How-can-she-afford-that?" jealousy when we decided I would stay home. I did it myself all the time. No amount of penciling out the cost of childcare for two toddlers in our hideously expensive town vs. my part-time income and highlighting the resulting pathetic dollar figure convinced these individuals that I wasn't somehow getting away with something. Do they think I sit around eating bonbons, watching daytime television all day?
Nothing could be further from the truth. I spend my days literally running everywhere. I have no time, except for naps, when I collapse into a weary heap. Okay, full disclosure, I watch "Oprah" pretty much every day, but I'm having tickle parties, administering snacks, cleaning and prepping dinner while it's on.
I've taken on more household chores than ever before, but the truth is, I like it. I'm having a much more rewarding time here than I ever did at work. Sometimes I miss sitting in front of a computer and feeling productive, but not enough to go back. Someday, I will, but it will be the right time for all of us. The fact that people find this threatening mystifies me.
I'm really bummed that some people have just dropped my ass. It's like I went from being a trusted confidante to being someone they couldn't relate to at all, just because I'm not earning a paycheck at a job I hated.
I get people being insecure. I've gone through my own share of wishing I had what other people do. I let it consume me for a long time, then got knocked around a lot, almost lost everything and finally came out the other side with a completely different set of priorities. But understanding isn't enough. It hurts when a relationship ends, but it hurts even more when you can't figure out why.