There's nothing domestic about family violence

I can still see her face as I drive by, scared, staring at her mother's truck, now surrounded by crime scene tape and sheriff's deputies who are trying to find evidence that it was, as she believes, her father who stuffed the gas-soaked rag in the tailpipe, intending to blow up her family.

I didn't stop. I didn't want to intrude. Maybe part of me didn't want to know. But I care. And want to help. If it's not too late. Drive-by guilt.

She is my neighbor, a teenage girl who plays with my son at the pool, along with her brothers and sister. With her mother's boyfriend, they form a family we respect and appreciate. A family we want to protect.

ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Facts How to help Activate your neighborhood

But how? How do you keep your family -- any family -- safe? Build gates, fences, prisons and stay inside them? And hope your neighbors do the same?

If you have ever lived in a violent home, you know: Nowhere is safe. No one is safe.

This type of crime is the very opposite of domesticity; it is not tame, it is wild-eyed and foreign. The familiar face becomes a stranger. It is the most private and personal invasion because it breeds the most intimate and insidious fear and distrust.

I have not seen our neighbor since yesterday morning, but her brother came over to play with my son and I was so grateful. He said they're OK. He said, "I hate him." I think, Good. Anger is better than fear. As long as it is tempered by love.

Comments

[Helene]

How sad. Makes me feel blessed to have the family that I have.

[Kelly]

Wow

never a dull moment, eh?

Sorry to sound flip, it's the shock that a man could do that to his family.