Tell Me Its Not Real!

Why would a child torture himself for three hours over a half hour's worth of homework?

I just wrote a three hundred and fifty word analytic description of the last two nights, then hit the delete key. You see my son has ADHD, and living with him, at times, can be pure hell. (There is nothing analytical about it. It feels as if driven by raw emotion.*) He is a kid who tries to do the right thing, but something in his neural wiring doesn't allow him to focus as you or I might.

He mentally tortures himself when he sits down to write. It is like trying to get a person who is scared of snakes to milk a herd of rattlers. If you were walking by outside you would hear cries of anguish as if a starving prisoner were being beaten while his captures gorged on a turkey feast with all of the trimmings. The only time I've seen a more tortured soul was when I witnessed a man get his back scrubbed free of the dead skin from a third degree burn.

Last night we gave our son a dose of Ritalin just to get him though his homework, without hurting himself. After three hours of crying and waling we broke routine and gave him a dose at night, and it worked. After waiting an hour for the medicine to take affect, he sat down and wrote for half an hour, twice as much as he would normally, and without a tear.

So when I hear these divisive snark mongers claim that ADHD isn't real and that we are over prescribing to our young, when I hear them say that we are bad parents, or lazy or both, all I can think is how lucky they are not to be walking in my sandals, because every cry my son makes is multiplied ten times in my heart.

(*)added 5/11/05

Comments

[debby]

That is such a sad post. It makes my heart hurt for him. ADHD IS real and painful for both the affected person and those watching the effects of it... hugs..

[willi]

dude - You are excellent parents, bad? lazy? NEITHER! You've even been a good parent to me (not to mention friend and brother) and I'm not even born of you... I applaud your efforts in the raising of your fine son! Carry on with your head held high.

[Philip]

I'm sorry some things can be so difficult for your son. He has two powerful and loving allies in you and your wife, and every little victory, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.