Warning:

Failure to follow all instructions could result in serious personal injuries such as broken bones, cuts, nerve damage, spinal or brain injury, or death. Property damage may also occur. (Sure am glad they added that last line.)

What kind of birthday greeting is that? It’s the kind that came posted on Colter's (9^th) birthday present, an adjustable basketball goal.

This didn't seem like the proper way to start a birthday celebration. So I told him its just a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo they put there so that we won't sue the manufacturer in case of an accident. What it should say is this:

Don't be showing off trying to hang on the rim. This thing'll snap in half, sending metal shards flying right through one of your arteries so that blood will be spurting everywhere. Then the thing will come crashing down on your head, knocking you clear back to kindergarten. So, Happy Friggin' Litigious-Free Birthday Kid.

What silly warnings have you read recently?

Comments

[RobinP]

Maybe you should re-write the warnings. That way people will understand them.