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December 08, 2003

Comments

becky

im 12 and i have some friends who wear thongs some
who think its gross and some who dont because there afraid to ask there parents. im one that wants to but im afraid to ask my mom. i relly relly care what people think and she might think im crazy. i think girls should be able to wear anything they want as long as they feel comfortable in it.

kelli

I am 12 and i want a thong...noy to be sexy but because for some reason they make me feel cool and pretty...how i know this is beause my mom has them and i tried hers on without her knowing because i was cureous and they felt really good!!! help me!...should i tell my mom i want one?

Julie

that's very true. also, the first comment, posted by leslie, tells girls who wants thongs not to go for victoria's secret. now victoria's secret has a "pink" collection that features a lot of "fun" underwear with cute designs, cute sleepwear, sweatshirts, shirts, boxers, etc. aimed for teens.

leslie

Hmmm...very good points here. I'm 26 & I have to admit, I love slutty outfits. However, most people don't have the ability to pull it off without looking...well, slutty. I happen to be one of those itty-bitty petite girls with the pigtails and Catholic schoolgirl look. Therefore, I pull it off well. *smile*

When I was about 16 or 17, I went through this phase where I started wearing provocative stuff. Low necklines, high hemlines, itty-bitty skirts, waist-off jeans, boots up to there, and...thong undies. Oh, horrors! My mom had a fit, but here's the catch. Sure, I wore all that stuff & people did stare and make comments. However, I didn't wear what the popular crowd wore, and I didn't wear those clothes to attract male attention (I had a steady boyfriend throughout high school & college, we're now married). Trust me, my undies stayed covered and I did my schoolwork...times have changed.


I wore that stuff because I was into it, not because I was a follower. Ask yourselves this, girls: do you want to wear this type of underwear out of personal comfort (I doubt it), or is it because plain ordinary so-called "granny panties" are now passe? I personally feel that 14 is a bit young to do that, but it's really up to your parents, or at least your mother. Wearing thong underwear won't turn somebody into a slut, however, it can make you seem more sexual to the wrong people. Most girls don't cover up, they have their thongs displayed to the world, & people talk about them. If you have a mature attitude (and by mature I mean intelligent, not trying to grow up too quick), then you could talk with your mom about it. Explain that you don't want to try thongs because your friends or the popular girls have them. State your reason clearly...after all, it's not like you're asking for a nipple piercing or a tattoo. You could even say, "I'll hide it so people won't notice", and stick to that. If she permits it you could try one in a soft cotton material with some coverage, then you could probably purchase a couple more if it's okay. Don't go for anything too adult: sparkles, beads, Victoria's Secret stuff. If she still says no, or says you aren't old enough, you should respect that. It might be a bummer, but it's better to trust that she isn't out to ruin your life (it just seems that way temporarily). Panty lines might be a bit annoying, but you'll live. And perhaps when you start working when you're considerably older, you'll be able to afford the underwear of your choice and you'll have the freedom to wear it.

Gary

One one hand: Girls should have the freedom to make this personal choice (style or comfort wise, regardless)

On the other hand: It's important to know their only little girls once, they'll have the rest of their life afterwards to be sexual.

So...Both sides make reasonal arguments.

Gary

One one hand: Girls should have the freedom to make this personal choice (style or comfort wise, regardless)

On the other hand: It's important to know their only little girls once, they'll have the rest of their life afterwards to be sexual.

So...Both isdes make reasonal arguments.

Anna

I'm 14 and my mom won't let me wear a thong! What should I tell her to let me wear one?

Joseph

Well, I am a teenager (17ish) male that happened along this site by accident, and felt I should add my 2-cents worth. Personally, I don't think girls should be wearing thongs until they are like 13 or 14, but mainly just because it seems disgusting for young girls to grow up quickly. I'm not going to say I hate the sight of it, as I am a guy after all, but I just don't like the thought that a 5th or 6th grader could pose as a short High School student these days. Anyway, good luck to everyone on this debate, but as is, a lot of problems are worsening every day, and this is only one thing to worry about. Cya everyone.

Shannon

When is a reasonable age for a girl to start wearing thongs?

About 2 months ago I went shopping with my mom. I needed to get some panties so I went over to the bras and panties department. I picked out some panties and a thong. My mom didn't mind me getting a thong. We checked it out and everything and she didn't care.

Then about 1 month later I subscribed to a magazine. Once I got it I looked at it and I wanted to get these two thongs. So I told my mom to look over it and see if I could get the stuff. A couple of days I had asked her is she looked over it. She said, " You don't really need thongs. Anyway, they go up your butt. We'll see." I was sorta mad. Then a little while later I asked her again if I could get the thongs. She said, "No, shannon you don't really need to be wearing thongs." I was like "Oh my gosh mom, fine!"

All of the popular girls in my grade wear thongs and they're always announcing it and all. Now my 14 y/o cousin is wearing thongs. She started when she was about 13.5 It's so not fair. I'm a teenager now I think I should be able to wear what I want. I think I should be able to wear what is comfortable for me. Aren't I old enough to wear what I want and show my individuality and independence? I think that once you're a teenager you should be aloud to wear what you want.

There are reasons to wear thongs. So your panty line doesn't show and they are more comfortable than wearing two layers of clothing. And if you wear thongs you won't get wedgies. It doesn't mean that if you wear thongs you're a slut and a tramp. It means you wear them for comfortness.

Please tell me your opinion about my statement. Also tell me an appropriate and reasonable age to wear a thong. Also give me a helpful way to explain to my mom that I want to start wearing thongs.

Thank you much!

Nancy

Dear Amanda,
The important thing is that you and your mother are both comfortable with the clothing decisions you make. So, the first thing you need to do is talk to your mom about why you want to wear a thong. I think the fact that your mother has expressed the point that she does not wish you to wear one shows that she is concerned that you are having age and developmentally appropriate behavior. That's a good thing, and a natural thing, she loves you. I think that the fact that you want to use words to convince her otherwise, and that you are, presumably, not wearing a thong in secret is also a good thing. It shows you respect your mother. And, here we have a good foundation for a healthy discussion about what is appropriate for you.

If you can convince her that it is comfortable, poses no health problems and would be worn as a private undergarment which no one else would see or know about, then maybe she'll change her mind. If your other behavior is consistent with making good, age appropriate, safe choices you have a better shot at it. If she sees signs that you wish to involve in non-age appropriate adult behavor in regard to wearing a thong, then there's no way she'll go for it. And, if that's the case you need to have more discussions about why you would want to involve yourself in risky adult behaviors at such a young age.

If you think wearing a thong would make you feel pretty, then you have to ask yourself why you need your underwear to make you feel pretty. Look at developing your inner-beauty. If you think wearing a thong would make you fit in with a group of other girls, then you need to ask yourself why a "friend" would demand that you wear matching underwear. That would be a dare, bullying-like behavior.

We all love to wear clothing and hairstyles that flatter us. But just like wearing 4 inch heels is bad for our backs, and piercing our tongues can cause infection ... we have to keep our style trends in the reasonable range. Two inch heels and the latest hoops to wear in our ears would be better. So, talk to mom and please respond so we know how it went!

Amanda Emberson

hey! I believe that girls should be allowed to wear what they want to wear!!

I am 14 and my mom won't let me wear a thong!
what should I say to her to make her change her mind?

someone PLEASE help me!!

I am a teen who is struggling to be independent in the type of clothing that I want to wear!!

if anyone has any advice to the questions that I have listed above, post it on this site and I will check back later.

Robin

I love when something from 4 months ago comes around again!
At this point Lillianna doesn't really care too much about what she wears. My mom, sister and aunt buy a lot of her clothes and they all have good taste. My sister is 29 and has never dressed like a tramp and when I was in college back in the 80's those high collared, long sleeved ruffled victorian shirts were all the rage with below the knee skirts. Not too sexy.

If at some point as Lillianna gets older I suspect she is leaving the house in a "nice" outfit and then changing into sleazy clothes in school, I will pop in school unannounced and check it out.
I don't want her to be trying to be sexy at 12. At 12 I was playing with Barbie dolls and darn happy to be doing it!!
I am in favor of decency and respect. If parents weren't so afraid of making their children mad at them they would actually not encourage their daughters to be tramps.
A big round of applause to your daughter for wearing what she likes even if it isn't trendy in some circles. LL Bean and Lands End have beautiful clothes even though they aren't frilly and girly. Comfort is key.
By the way....the thong.....I still don't get it!
I spent so many years making sure my underwear DIDN'T go up my butt and give me a wedgie!! Now they pay big bucks for it?????? It's all about marketing!!!!!!!!!!

Tomas

Well all and well and good but it seems to me that young girls between 12 and 17 can dress in boys clothing but let a boy put on panties or a skirt and all heck breaks loose. My son is 12 and he has wanted to dress in his sisters clothing for as long as I can remember and I have had a difficult time telling him he cannot when his sister comes into the room wearing one of my shirts and says is it ok for me to borrow your shirt Dad. So then he says that is not fair. So what do we tell our sons who want to dress as girls when they are approaching their teens.

Brenda

I am 26 and I have a daughter who is 7. Girls love to play dress up and dress like their moms
I take her to Victorias Secret with me when I go shopping and she love to pick out matching itmems for herself.I dont see what the problem is with other mothers. We both dress cute and its fun to see my daughter having so much interest in her individualality. I see alot of mothers and daughters there shoping for nighties and thongs together becuase they have extra small sizes that kids can wear. More parents should allow their kids to be themselves.

Kelly

Well, I am 12, and yes I confess, I do wear thongs. I do know that most parents out there who do not approve of this type of underwear, but you need to understand that your tweens are becoming teens. But that is no excuse for a young girl that is around my age to dress slutty. The thing is is that when you let you little girl wear a thong, you need to make sure that she is wearing it in good taste, what I mean by that is making sure that no=one sees her thong but her...... there are a bunch of girls in my school that wear them and let them show and I am telling you, most of the boys love it and it brings out the disgusting perverted people so if your going to let your daugher wear a thong, make sure that she keeps it personal

david

but doesnt anyone think that seeing a thong above a pair of pants is damn sexy !

Amanda

Nancy: I think you should feel lucky, I'm terrified by what my girls might choose to wear someday. Mallory is already trying to choose her outfits and four and it causes huge fights. It's usually a summer dress on a cold day, nothing Britney Spears yet... but unfortunately popular culture has a powerful grip on young women and what they choose to wear. As mother's of girls it's something we will all have to deal with at some point!

Amytart

My husband keeps making comments about young girls he sees around like, "Um..Isabelle is NOT dressing like she's 21 when she's 10..Um..Isabelle is NEVER going to wear pants like that..." and on and on it goes. I've tried to tell him that the second he tells her she can't...she'll do everything to prove him wrong. I used to leave the house wearing jeans and a sweater to take the sweater off to be wearing a flannel shirt unbuttoned down to my belly button with a sports bra underneath. I did it because I knew my parents would FREAK if they knew....

Roni

I didn't want to be too girly until I hit high school. Then, BAM! I wanted to wear the short skirts with the see-thru shirts and black lace bras underneath. So enjoy your time now & pray she doesn't turn out like me. lol

I know Ella's gonna pay me back.

Sherry

Great post!

I have an almost 12-year-old daughter who, thankfully, is still pretty conservative in her dressing. I know there will come a day that it will all change, thanks to these teenie-bopper singers and good ole marketing. For now, though, I'm enjoying her conservative attire.

Just the other day I saw an unbelievable sight of a girl showing the upper part of her thong as her sweatpants were saggy at the waist. Yikes! Instantly, I turned to my hubby and said, "If Kahea wants to wear something like that I'm going to croak!"

Kids fashion these day. Sheesh.

Kelly

Great post Nancy. It's scary how young the girls start today. I'm blown away by the suggestive ways girls in 5th grade are dressing. 5th grade. I still played with dolls then. I know it was scary for my Mom when I was wanting to wear makeup at 12, which she thought was too young.I can just imagine that when my baby daughter has a daughter, she'll want to have her private body parts pierced when she's in kindergarten because everyone else is doing it. Urgh. What a world.

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