A good mom ... A great mom ...

By Helene

The other day a girlfriend of mine (and mother of two) posed an interesting question, "What's the difference between a 'good mom' and a 'great mom'?" "Good question," I thought. At the time she asked, I knew I'd need some more time to really mull it over before I could respond with something more meaningful, than "about 4 little letters (r-e-a-t)."

So for the past few days I've been thinking, what does separate the two? And in all my thoughts I've only come to one conclusion; there is no easy or obvious way to define the difference between a "good mom" and "great mom." Every woman is different. Each has her own set of inherited parenting skills (some more than others), abilities and talents which enables her to be as good as parent as she can be. But that doesn't mean that she can't strive to be more!

I think it's normal for most parents to strive to raise their children better than their parents raised them. In some respect because of natural evolution in our culture and environment, parenting can always be improved upon. That will never change, so it seems senseless to strive for motherhood perfection - it simply can't be achieved. So how do you distinguish a "good mom" from a "great mom," if not by one's parenting skills? Perhaps it's by those little heartfelt meaningful endeavors that you do for your children in your parenting process along the way.

With this in mind, I started to try and create a list of a few of these loving endeavors. I know, it's rather short right now (consider it a work in progress), but I'm hoping with your collective input, I can expand list a lot more.

A good mom puts Band-Aids on your boo-boos, a great mom eases your pain.

A good mom helps you with your homework, a great mom guides you through the process of helping yourself.

A good mom helps to mend your torn clothes, a great mom helps to mend your broken heart.

Add your thoughts. What are some of the things that distinguish a "good mom" and a "great mom"?

Comments

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He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.

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I was working on a very similar post when yours came through, so I'm adding mine as a comment.

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Hello
Its very interesting to know about that survey for mothers.You have given good points for marketers and I completely agree with your points as Facebook is popular now..Thank you very much for such nice post.Hello
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I think when you know your child so well,the minute they walk out of the school in the afternoon,you know what kind of day they had.Small things that say..you pay attention and know them well.

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You're a braver woman than I it was weeks before I could even begin to think about looking at the incisions from my lap. Even now I don't like to touch them. They're...squishy.

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I fell less connected to it. my agent booked me a flight to NYC through last minute travel. for sure ill take my cold music with me:)

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Hello
Its very interesting to know about that survey for mothers.You have given good points for marketers and I completely agree with your points as Facebook is popular now..Thank you very much for such nice post.Hello
Its very interesting to know about that survey for mothers.You have given good points for marketers and I completely agree with your points as Facebook is popular now..Thank you very much for such nice post.

[Debbie]

A good mom teaches her child about the Lord
A great mom lives what she teaches

[Cathy]

A good enough mom provides for her child.

A good mom loves her child.

A great mom teaches her child to love himself.

An outstanding mom teaches her child to love the creative powers of the universe with all his heart, mind, soul and strength and to love his neighbor as himself.

A good enough mom takes care of her child.

A good mom teaches her child to take care of himself.

An great mom teaches her child the joy of caring for others.

An outstanding mom teaches her child the joy of caring for others, including those beyond their family, their country and their species.

[Marcia Lynx Qualey]

Chris--

I think that immigrant mother is more likely than the rest of us to be a "great" mother, as she is making real sacrifices for the future happiness of her children. I think that's what it comes down to, how much of yourself you have laid on the line for the future happiness of your kids. My own mother put a hell of a lot on the line for me...pretty much her whole life was sacrificed for mine. Sad and beautiful and sad and I will always be grateful.

Will I do that for Isaac? Shit, I probably won't sacrifice as much as my own mother, no. Maybe I will. Maybe I don't have to. I don't know.

[Chris]

I think there is more too it than that. Judging if someone is a great mom or a bad mom is really moot imho...the reason being is that some mom's don't even have the opportunity to be a "great" mom. For instance, my wife...and probably many of you live a nice upper middle class suburban life...you have the discretionary time and income to pay attention to all of the details and involvements of your children...what about the lady who is an immigrant that cleans my office every other night...who works three menial jobs for minimum wage...who loves her kids, but can only see them for about 30 minutes of waking time a day..not nearly enough to learn all about every facet of their lives...but is she then not a great mom?

[Lori]

Great moms think alike! I was working on a post about this, too, after discussing with Julie.

[andrea]

Thank you notes!?!?!
We need a new category for 'terrible mom'

:) :)

[Emily]

I think when you know your child so well,the minute they walk out of the school in the afternoon,you know what kind of day they had.Small things that say..you pay attention and know them well.

[Julie]

I was working on a very similar post when yours came through, so I'm adding mine as a comment.

A good mother: feeds her child(ren) nutritionally balanced meals every day.
A good (enough) mother: feeds her child chicken nuggets at least once a day if that's all he'll eat.

A good mother: limits her child's exposure to electronics to an hour.
A good (enough) mother: allows her child up to 2 hours of TV a day and longer on weekends if it means more time for her to read and write.

A good mother: enrolls her child in piano lessons and makes sure he practices several times a week.
A good (enough) mother: enrolls her child in piano lessons.

A good mother: requires her child to hand-write thank you notes before playing with toys and gifts.
A good (enough) mother: buys the pre-printed thank you notes, then sometimes sends them weeks late or forgets to send them at all.

I asked Colter what makes someone a good mother, and he said if she: is nice to her kid, is good to her kid, is nice to her husband, likes the people she should (parents with kids Colter wants to play with).

I asked Gary what makes someone a good mother and he said, "homemade fried chicken and chocolate brownie pudding" (his mother's specialties).

I guess the trick is to transcend the superficial acts that make someone appear to be a good mother and focus on the deeper actions that help a child feel good about himself, his family and the world.