« A measure of love | Main | Free to choose »

March 29, 2004

Comments

geraldine

What a fantastic idea! Can anyone tell me where i can get one of thoes that go around the childs neck?

Seriously though, Im a mother of 5 children under 12yo, and I have never found it nessisary (although very tempting at times) to attach anything to them. Its the lazy parents approach, that creates its own problems.

For me It all comes down to basic kiddie training from the time they can crawl and walk, in and out of house, in every situation.

We 'buddie up' in twos with the sibling we are geting along with best at the time(as my hands are ALWAYS holding somthing) and hold hands, this way i get to increase the chance of loosing half the group at once, insted of a little bit each minute lol, kidding. the youngest always stay closer, preferable holding my hand, at least where they can see me (or me see them more to the point) but i allow freedom always, and only restrict the kids if the situation is extremely dangerous, then we have a group meeting and all hold hands. It not hard, once the basic training is done, every outing is a logistical training exercise.

Turn the situation around; Have u ever seen how scared your child becomes when they feel like they have lost you?? use it to your advantage, kids hate being lost so remind them to stay nearby, but give them freedom.

cheryl

I really need help finding a wrist to wrist leash for our 6 year old at Disney. Where do I find this? Only found the hand loop to wrist. Appreciate any help.

L Migues

I am looking for the wrist to wrist band for a 4 yr. old. Where can I found them? I used to have one about 20 years ago, however, I haven't seen them since.

Please advise. Thanks

Ann Hanlon

I am looking for the wrist to wrist leash like you mention. I cannot find it anywhere. What is the exact name of the product? Where did you find it. I don't want anything that clips, and I don't want the harness. Any help would be appreciated.

Jean

I used the leash and vest twenty years ago. It was a good idea then, and a better idea now.I really like the idea of adding the retrackable dog leash. The retrackable leash can keep the child from wrapping their parent around the legs, and tripping them, as was the case with my active son. Have these parent against the leash forgotten, that so many children are being stolen from their parents everyday. Hey, I wonder if we could supper size those things,so I can keep track of my thirteen year old son at the mall. (smile) Safety is a big problem in our world. I would rather displease a few narrow minded people, than spend a life time of regret from the lost of a child. It's something to think about.

liz

My daughter was teeny and a darter, so rather than the wrist thingy she had a vest and a leash. I loved it, no more back pain; she seemed to like it, no more one hand being bloodless from being held overhead forever.

Longer expeditions, the back pack.

I don't know why people are so judgmental, but they are. I suppose all we can do is let the judgments of stranger slide by without reacting to them. Cultivate compassion.

Betsy

Wow - I used to have people stop me to ask me where I got the hand leash!

I thought it was actually easier and made more sense on a bunch of levels to use the hand restraint instead of holding her hand:

- I didn't have to bend slightly sideways to hold her hand way down there, leading to that wonderful crick in the neck,
- She got to learn how to walk alongside someone, as opposed to being dragged along at my pace
- I could give her more autonomy as a result - she didn't have to walk right alongside me, but could walk a little in front or a little behind, which helped her own sense of independence

As for the rude woman at the store, I'm often trying to refine my comebacks for people like that. I think an amended version of an Ann Landers response would have worked here:

"Why would you even think of saying something so rude - and in front of our children, no less?"

(I think her response to people asking nosy questions was this reply: Why would you ask a question like that?)

Tiff

Umm...yeah...when does "protecting" your child by having them close to you instead of letting them run like a wild chid where just about anyone can snatch them up and run off with them...make you a bad mother? You have done nothing wrong so you just hold your head up high!

Momma-yaya

I used to think the leashes were a horrid horrid thing. Then I became the lucky mother of darting kids. When my son was a toddler I bought a harness style leash for a trip just he and I took together. I figured it would come in handy at the airports, and it definitely did--carrying luggage, carseat AND child simply wasn't an option. In a crowded space the "leash" was a lifesaver. My son loved it, got down on hands and knees and barked his way through each and every airport. I'm actually grateful that I read this and am reminded of how helpful these can be for "certain types" of children. I'd forgotten this option, and now I no longer take my children to the grocery store or any shopping trip because my youngest (3) has taken to disappearing. We've had one "code Adam" episode in Borders, and plenty of other instances where the whole store was watching our desperate attempts to find her. But the solution to disapproving and rude strangers? I don't think there is one. Someone else's judgement is unfortunately par for the course once you become a parent.

Susan

The really sad thing about what happened is the way it made your daughter feel. Sometimes people are so self-centered and self-righteous that they don't even realize - or don't care - that they are hurting not only the parent but the children. So sad that people can be so mean hearted. I'm sorry she said that but I'm glad to hear that you are sticking by what you think is right.

I've never used the wrist restraints but I would do so if I had another. I lost my daughter in the mall once when she wandered off (I was distracted trying to try shoes on my son). It was the most terrifying 5 minutes of my life. It shows that you care about your child's safety that you use the restraints. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about that.

j.

I don't have children (why am I reading this site, you ask?) but think the wrist tethers are great. Honestly, why did that woman have to be so mean? Keep in mind the source of the comment, she was clearly nasty and judgemental.

tammy

I have 2 toddlers and have used the wrist leash myself with my older son until he figured out how to gget it off. I now use a short piece of rope tied to his belt loop or around his waist. I'd rather be safe than sorry. Was too scary when he disappeared on me before and couldn't find him right away. Most people commend me for it annnd those who don't I usually just tell them it's my child I'll raise them as I see fit!! Was definately easier using the wrist leash when my older kids were toddlers. Never got a complaint.

daddydaycare

As a stay-at-home Dad, I've had some experience with toddlers running rampant. We have 2 year old twins. We bought leashes and keep them in a backpack that stays in the truck [the one with the gun rack; just kidding]. We've never used them. Someone told me that a child can never learn self-control if you try to control them -- so I never did. For a while, the twins would follow me like little ducklings at their own pace. Granted, that wasn't fast enough for me, but a little patience went a long way. The way I curbed any rampant darting was to carry a 4-lb Volo shoulder stroller and use it as a "timeout." For example, you take off on the escalator at the mall, and when I finally catch up with you, you ride. With a little persistance, you won't need a leash. I think the backlash you see on people's faces is unfair -- however, I also believe that if you treat a kid like an adult (i.e. freedom), they will get used to acting like adults. When they don't act like adults, then you can treat them like kids and leash'em. Just don't let emotions cloud reality. Kids have to learn to walk down busy streets -- the only one that can teach them how is you. Just my opinion. Free and worth it.

theProcrastinatrix

Funny how some folks are more than happy to dispense their negative judgements then walk away. They obviously feel the need to communicate their opinion, but not enter into a civilized dialogue where they may be presented with a few facts about the situation they hadn't considered before they opened their big mouths. Sheesh!!!

Pewari

Both me and Akra Jr have a sadistic sense of humour. We too use those wrist gizmos, and Akra Jr delights in stretching out as far as possible to trip random passers-by up, or wrapping himself around and through pavement ad boards so it takes me about twenty minutes to unravel us!!

Usually, if I get the glare treatment from someone thinking I'm cruel, I just tug on the wrist strap to bring Akra Jr and say in a loud voice "heel boy!"

Well, it makes me smile anyway ... ;)

Hope

Some people are just retarded like that. ;) I personally used one of those that connects to the wrist. BUT....my daughter was so smart that it only took about 2 uses before she figured out how to take it off! LOL

Kathleen

When my daughter was small I bought the body harness and tether but replaced the lead with a retractable dog leash (for the appropriate weight group). In open spaces, she was given more leash than when walking in crowds. She absolutely loved it. Sometimes, she would event pretend to be a dog and crawl and bark - even in the mall. She's 9 now and even busier. I sure wish those harnesses came in larger sizes.

jilbur

Gosh, the wrist-to-wrist thing sounds totally dignified to me--in fact my first thought on reading it was, 'if I have another kid, I gotta get me one of those.'

I want to bite nasty folks like that. Sigh ... now you know why I was thrown out of nursery school [not a fiction or exaggeration].

laura

Like it's better to just have your kid run loose fifty feet ahead or behind you - a more common sight where I live. Sheesh!

Busy Mom

That woman is now raising another generation of people who will think it's OK to say things like that.

Kristin

I'm surprised that other moms would pull that crap. I expect it from single people or those with older children who have "toddler amnesia" and have forgotten what it's like to control a toddler. I not only have the wrist leash, I also have the harness that fits over the head and velcros across the back. Funny, I guess where I am they recognize the value of child safety and I have not yet received a word of critism for using the leash. In fact most people comment on how great it is, in these horrible days of kidnapping, that we thought enough about our children to use such restraints. I was ready for the comments, because as we all know everyone else but US know the best way to parent OUR children, but I was not going to let it deter me. I commend you for sticking to the leash and say screw the jerk offs.

Stacey

Ugh, I hate self righteous people like that.

Marcia Lynx Qualey

Wow. What is it about the topic of parenting that makes people feel so sure they know better than you?

Boy, and I bet that woman didn't even give a second thought to how hurtful that comment was.

Liz

I think what you do for your daughter is entirely appropriate. I too wish I would have used this with my son. Isn't it strange how much misery loves company? It seems that more and more in public places people would rather judge, criticize, and be rude than just smile and wave and NOT pass judgement. :( It makes me sad. Why must everyone have such an edge about them?

Michelle

The only way that I could ensure that my son would stay by my side as a toddler was to put on the wrist leash otherwise he would run up and down every aisle and I would never get any shopping done.

It's a shame that other people can't simply mind their own business and realize that what may work for one parent, may not work for another.

The comments to this entry are closed.

DotMoms Daily

    follow me on Twitter