A raising question

By Helene

It occurred to me the other day that the goal of being a parent should not be to "raise a child."

Please allow me to disgress for a moment here and see if you can follow my thinking ...

• When you "raise a barn," you set your goals for the finished product, not just the walls and stud boards.
• When you "raise the roof," you add the crowning component to a well-crafted building, not pour the foundation.
• When you "raise the stakes," you set the goals higher, not lower.

Therefore, doesn't it follow that the goal of parenting really should be to "raise an ADULT" (not a child)?

Perhaps this is the reason why so many parents still have their children living under their roof and sponging off of them at ages 26, 34, 42 ... forever!

Just a thought...

Comments

[Meg]

When my kids are upset with me, and tell me that I am mean and want to make them unhappy, I tell them what my job is. "First, it's to keep you safe. Then, it's to turn you into good grown ups. But sometimes, turning you into a good grown up means I have to do things that make you unhappy, like putting you in time-out or grounding you." So yes, you're absolutely right. I'm raising adults in my house - I'd just phrased it differently.

[JennB]

As a synonym, the verb "to raze" (not spelled the same, but pronouced the same) means to level. What if we called it "Razing kids" - leveling the field as we bring up our offspring?

[Robin]

My friend Kristy is 6 years older than I am and she had her first son when she was 19, her second son less than 2 years later.
When both boys left home (Massachusetts) a few years back ,one joined the air force and one got a job and moved to California, Kristy was so sad. She had been very involved with her boys and they adored her.This was the house where all the kids hung out because she was such a good mom.
I told her to give herself a round of applause. She raised 2 wonderful men who were able to support themselves and live on their own. Yay! She did her job! Her boys were always so polite and just all around great kids. They are even better adults. She did her job well.
Unfortunately not all parents can say the same.