By Robin
When I read "Dear Abby" I know I am going to hear about cheating spouses, in-law problems, drug- and alcohol-related issues and frustration with teenagers. In all honesty, sometimes it all sounds the same to me. But the letter I read the other day was so horrific I had to share it with all of you.
It seems this mom has a 15-year-old daughter who was asked to babysit for the 1-year-old child of the mom's friend. When the daughter got to the house she was told that she would also be "babysitting" for the two children next door who were both under 3 years old. The two couples were going out together.
The two children from next door were tucked in their beds and asleep and the house was locked. The babysitter was given a baby monitor so that she could hear if there was a problem. A problem? The problem is there is no one home!
Apparently, they do this all the time: hire one sitter and keep one house locked up. If that isn't bad enough, when the mom heard what happened she was horrified and voiced her opinion. Do you think there was an apology? NO! Everyone is mad at mom for being so dramatic! Her husband, daughter and the friends all blame mom for saying she would call Social Services if it ever happened again. They want HER to apologize to THEM!
I can't imagine leaving Lillianna locked up in the house ALONE for 1 minute, never mind for hours while Rich and I have a night on the town! Last week, when she was sick and vomiting I had to run downstairs in our apartment building to get the clothes out of the dryer. I didn't dare take her in case she threw up. I called my mom and asked her to babysit by phone until I came back up. She talked to Lillianna for the three minutes that I was gone. That's as daring as I care to get with my 6-year-old daughter.
If I were in the situation that this mom was in I would have done the same thing. Actually I would have called Lillianna while she was babysitting and asked how things were going. If she told me about the other children I would have been on the phone with the police immediately. Isn't this child neglect or abandonment or something? Who would do such a thing? Who would think it was OK to leave their children locked up in a house all alone? You can't HEAR a fire on a baby monitor.
The only problem here is that the 15-year old didn't realize she would be babysitting for three children. Why is it wrong, though, to leave a monitor with someone in the next apartment? What is the difference between doing that and leaving a monitor with someone in a large single family home?
Posted by: Lady | January 07, 2007 at 10:29 AM
Yikes.
I haven't yet left Isaac with a babysitter, and now you've gone and terrified me. :-)
Posted by: Marcia Lynx Qualey | May 07, 2004 at 06:25 AM
and just think, as bad of parents as they were, there are worse.
i say, throw the book at them.
Posted by: Kira | May 06, 2004 at 02:49 PM
Jess, I think that's asking a lot of a typical teenager to stand up to adults and tell them they are wrong.
Certainly it would be ideal, blaming a 15 year old for not making a better choice than adults, parents is a little much.
Posted by: Melissa | May 06, 2004 at 08:02 AM
That is truly horrifying! If they were so determined to go out, why didn't they just bring the kids over to the same house? UN-BE-LIEV-A-BLE!
We just had a situation here where the parents left their children (ages 7 and 9) sleeping so they could go out and party on New Year's Eve. There was a fire and both children died.
I would definitely have called CPS. Those parents seriously deserve to have CPS involved if they are that irresponsible. It's just like seatbelts - if the parents are so irresponsible as to not belt their children in the car, then they should be punished for it. Better the parents pay a fine than the children pay with their lives.
Whenever I hear these kinds of stories I think there ought to be a test you need to pass before you can become a parent.
Posted by: Susan | May 06, 2004 at 06:53 AM
Yes I agree that it was a terrible thing to do and I would think that had the authorities known about it they would have agreed.
Posted by: Angie | May 06, 2004 at 06:22 AM
I agree, like everyone else, that it's a horrible situation and that the mom did the right thing. However, as a 20-year-old who has been babysitting and otherwise working with children since age 11, I have to wonder - why in the world did the 15-year-old acquiesce?? Not only is she 'watching' two more children unexpectedly, but if she is judged (by her own parents, not the neighbors) responsible enough to be babysitting in the first place, she must have also had an idea of all the things that could happen - at least, I would hope so. I think she should have simply spoken up and flat-out refused to be put in such a situation. She would probably never have been asked to babysit again, but who wants to be put in a position of responsibility by irresponsible people, anyway?
...Of course, if these people are as white-trashy as they sound like, they would probably have still gone out and just taken the baby monitor along with them. Ugh.
Posted by: Jess | May 06, 2004 at 04:26 AM
In Missouri it is definitely illegal. It's considered abandonment and child endangerment. CPS ought to have been caled, and definitely the mother that spoke up was right. Legally and morally.
Posted by: Chasmyn | May 06, 2004 at 01:47 AM
In California, that is illegal. In fact, in California, it's illegal to leave a kid in a car alone, locked or not. Of course, if a parent(s) doesn't have the common sense to figure out that it's not a good idea, then what good is the law? And what is the "babysitter" supposed to do if something goes wrong? Leave the child she's getting paid to watch? Sad.
Posted by: daddydaycare | May 06, 2004 at 12:56 AM
Totally unacceptable. Some people are truly idiots.
Posted by: Kim | May 05, 2004 at 11:22 PM
Ugh, that gave me the shivers. Horrifying.
Posted by: Elise | May 05, 2004 at 09:21 PM
Ditto what Martha said. I know that here (Louisiana) it is a crime to leave a child under 9 years old alone and unsupervised. It probably isn't as enforced as it should be, but I would have done the same: called the parents, told them that this was negligence and that I wasn't going to allow them to put my daughter in a position where she might not be able to help children who were hurt behind locked doors. What if one woke up? Started crying? Got scared? Decided to go look for mom and fell? Got hurt out of the sound range of the monitor?
This is appalling.
Posted by: toni | May 05, 2004 at 07:24 PM
How awful. I understand that there is a gray area when children are somewhat older -- some people are comfortable leaving a 10 year old home alone for a while, some aren't. But that situation? Totally unacceptable.
I would be hesitant to call the police or social services immediately, but if I were that mother, I would have called the parents, told them that those young children being left home alone was completely unacceptable and irresponsible, said that I was going over to sit my butt down on their porch and make sure that those little kids were safe, and that if they weren't home within 20 minutes to take care of their children, then I WOULD be calling the police.
Posted by: Martha | May 05, 2004 at 06:50 PM
Wow.
I guess mostly I'm just happy with my own choices and i'm glad I wouldn't make that choice for myself or my kids.
Posted by: Melissa | May 05, 2004 at 05:41 PM
That is awful.I would have done the same thing.
Posted by: Emily | May 05, 2004 at 05:28 PM