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May 08, 2004



Before I had a child, my mother...used to worry that I'd never have children.

After I had a child, my mother...began worrying that I'd never have children of my own (I'm a stepmom).

I'm like my mother... in that I'm happiest if I've made sure that everyone I love is happy first.

I'm unlike my mother... I love children who were not born of my body, who are related to me by love rather than by blood.

My best Mother's Day... was this one. I'm four months pregnant with my "first and fourth child," and felt honored, loved, and appreciated as a mother-to-be AND as a stepmom.

My worst Mother's Day... previous mother's days, when I was told by many people, over and over again, that I wasn't a mom but was still expected to be a good parent. Step-parenting is hard and frustrating and wonderful and rewarding all at once. If you are committed to being a good stepparent, you have all of the responsibilities of motherhood, but are not allowed to take many -- or any -- of the credits. And you accept it, because you love.


Before kids - my mother was a great woman, but I think that I didn't fully understand and appreciate her until ...

After kids - I realized although the times we raised our kids in were quite different, her time was not necessarily easier than my time, and she gave up a lot to be a parent/wife/mother. She got so much honest-to-goodness, heartfelt joy out of being a grandmother that it not only increased my joy, but was a reminder to slow down and enjoy the moments that pass too quickly, as she did.

I'm like my mom because of our fierce devotion for our kids, for wanting to be a mom above all else, for feeling truly complete once we were mothers.

I'm unlike my mom because I don't have the patience she did, and I worry that I will push too hard - she always made me believe I could do anything, and supported me however bizarre my goals might be. I am always feeling that I don't want my kids to make the mistakes I made, and I'm afraid I'm going to be too hard on them because of that, instead of trusting in them.

My best Mother's Day - probably my first, but most of the 9 I have had have been great! I also finally realized that my mother really did love the homemade cards and gifts we made her as kids - as they are my true joy when I receive them from my kids now.

My worst Mother's Day - I was 9 months pregnant w/#2, and my mom had been gone for just 2 months ... a wide range of raw feelings - hope for the future surrounded by despair and loneliness and regret and sadness ... although it slowly gets a little easier w/time, I still have a hole in my heart that I imagine will never completely heal. My kids - they are cure, of course.

Happy Mother's Day to all -


Before I had a child, my mother... was a person to respect, to obey, to fear, to satisfy, to emulate. She struggled as a divorced, working mom, and we saw the strife and felt the worry.

After I had a child, my mother... became (suddenly, and overnight, of course) a person to be astonished at, admired, wondered about, grateful to, bragged about, written about, befriended, reaquainted with, adored, leaned upon, and supported in any way I could possible manage.

I'm like my mother... in that I can laugh at myself, and love myself, and believe in my own strength. Like my mother, I willl never abide suffering I can ease. I will be there for you, no questions asked and no judgment passed until the crisis is over.

I'm unlike my mother... in that I am more traditional-minded than she; but that is only because I did not have to be a single parent when she did and do not suffer the same gender biases and barriers to success, and in some cases, subsistence.

My best Mother's Day... was today. And each one before today, right back to 1998, when I spent it gazing at my one-day-old son in the hospital.

My worst Mother's Day... will be when there are no children around who can love with me, or who want to be around to love with me.

angela marie

Before I had a child, my mother was a good friend and someone I could always count on.

After I had a child, my mother became my greatest ally. Someone I don't feel like I could live without. Someone I FINALLY understand completely.

I'm like my mother in that we both fiercely love our children and I really get that now.

I'm unlike my mother in the ways that do not matter. She has passed to me some insecurities and even more strengths, but I have been able to express myself because I always knew she was standing there behind me to either catch me or give me the shove I needed.

My best Mother's Day. Hard to say, every year tops the last one. Now with four children, the blessings (and the heartaches) keep coming. I just know that it is all worth it.

My worst Mother's Day was the one that had nothing to do with my children, but with my mother's child -- my brother. Three years ago, when we knew that this wonderful 29 year old was dying of cancer. Knowing that my children (only two at that time) may forget their uncle. So far I haven't let that happen.

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