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May 31, 2004

Comments

rachel

Good for you knowing your own boundaries, Marcia, and stating it clearly to those guys. That's really the key, IMO. We're all going to have different boundaries, but unless we tell people they aren't going to know. You have to speak up for yourself. And your comfort level will change over time, and be different with different people. Keep making sure you're being heard.

Meg

OMG - I think all of you (authors of the post and of the comments) would completely freak out at how un-afraid I am for my kids' physical safety. Kids are amazingly durable! I never would have batted an eye at the pool table thing. In general, I'm not worried about them getting hurt. They learn lessons that way. That doesn't mean that I won't scold them for standing on one foot and hopping up and down at the top of the slide, but I am not going to climb up there to remove them if they keep it up. If they fall, they fall. *shrug* They'll only do it once! (No, none of my three kids has ever been seriously injured in any way.)

My concern about their physical safety is mainly making sure they make good choices about strangers, and making sure I know where they are at all times. Insurance will take care of a broken arm - it won't take care of a kidnapped child!

Susan

We were on vacation with family one time when Teddy was about a year old. My brother-in-law was swinging Teddy between his legs. I said, "Be careful, don't drop him on his head." My brother-in-law joked, "Don't worrry, Mom, I won't." 30 seconds later he dropped him. As my brother-in-law pointed out - he didn't 'technically' drop him on his head - he dropped him on his face. Thankfully the floor was carpeted and well padded so Teddy wasn't hurt - he actually giggled. I did enjoy spending the rest of the weekend making my brother-in-law feel bad about it, though. :)

Angie

Absolutely!! And I always say that if we don't protect them, who will? You are doing by him and that is all you are supposed to do!!

Anne

Do any of these guys have kids of their own? If not, then you can wag your finger and say, "wait 'til you see what I do to your little brats."

If they have kids, tell them to go pee in their own gene pool and leave yours the heck alone.

That ought to get them talking, at least.

Robin

At dinner Rich said "When you read Marcia's new post you are DEFINITELY going to comment on it." Oh ya baby!!!!!

I am so damn tired of people telling me I am overprotective with Lillianna. Thank god my mom is clueless about the internet so she will never see this but she is the worst offender. No matter what I say she says Lillianna is "fine." WELL, IT'S NOT FINE WITH ME!!!!!!!

She lets Lillianna go outside alone and sit on this swing bench that is pressed up against the front of the house. Lillianna sits there til my mom comes out. "She knows not to move. If anyone came near her she would scream." Ya ok but what if someone sneaks up on her, covers her mouth and takes her away??????? How the hell will she yell then???? Those poor 5 year olds in California were supposed to be safe playing outside while grandma was in the house. The man came up and took one girl. SHE'S DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I look at it this way.....I have to be able to live with whatever decision I make. If someone used my kid as a pool cue or football you better believe I would have something to say. I know I took darn good care of myself during my pregnancy so I am not going to let just anything happen to my child. People have to know their boundaries.

My friend's mother in law gave her son ice cream for the first time after she asked her not to because she just felt like it. Jen wanted to be the one to do it just to see his reaction but her mil decided she wanted to be the one to do it. It doesn't matter what is done the point is this is my kid and you have no rights unless I give them to you!!!!!

Stick to your guns! Isaac is YOUR child.The next time someone does something you don't like just say, "And THIS is why we live in Egypt!!!!"

VJ

And if he's your only child, you'll protect him until you have no energy left. I know. Tony's an only child - and we weren't supposed to be able to have him. I don't care what the world thinks. If I want to hold his hand while crossing the street when he's 14 or 24 or 54, I'm going to try. He may not like it, but I am going to try.

Rachel Ann

"All right, I give. Maybe my husband and I are overprotective. Maybe we will, some day, spoil our baby boy. But so what? Isn't he ours to preserve or spoil? And, dammit, isn't he ours to protect?"

and you and your dh alone get to decide what tha means. It is important to set the boundaries for what you will and will allow the relatives to do. It doesn't matter if they agree or not.

Oh, you can look the other way sometimes if grandma slips him a forbidden treat; but you don't have to and you get to decide what you will let pass or not.

I know you this post was with a bit of humor
and maybe I'm making it sound more serious than it is, but you aren't being "over protective" you are being parents.

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