By Susan
If you ask me or any of my siblings what the absolute most annoying thing that my Mother did to us as children was, you will get the same answer. Every time we would ask, "Mom, what time is it?" She would say... no, "say" is not the right word ... she would sing the theme to the "Howdy Doody" show: "It's Howdy Doody time."
Here are some ways I annoy my children daily: Child: Mom! Where's my <insert any item here>? Child: What's for dinner? Child: Can I get a Popsicle? |
No, she didn't just sing it. She embellished it. "Iiiiiiit's HoooowwwDY Doody Time! It's Howdy Doody Time!" She would draw out the first word so that we all had plenty of time to know what was coming.
I remember my brother and sister and me covering our ears and screaming in pain at yet another rendition of this. We would look at each other and roll our eyes and stomp our feet and yell, "Why can't you just tell us what time it is?!" Then she would laugh at our ire.
If she was especially proud of herself she would dance around a little bit while she sang. All the while we would toggle between begging for the time and screaming for a reprieve from the accursed song.
Now that I have my own children I find I enjoy annoying them. I have yet to find that one thing that will routinely send them into foot-stomping fits, but I'm working on it (see sidebar). I figure if I'm a victim of the "Mother's Curse" (you know the one -- where they wish upon your children that they behave as you did as a child) then my children will be victims of the Children's Curse -- that they have a Mother as annoying as their Mother's Mother.
Although I have never once uttered the evil theme to Howdy Doody when my children have asked the time, I still -- to this day -- hear it play through my mind when they ask.
I cant BELIEVE you dont sing that song to them!! I take great pride in the fact that my kids get the "It's Howdy Doody Time" almost daily - WITH the embellishment :-)
Thats one of my favorites - also:
"MOM where ya going?"
"Crazy, wanna come?"
"MOM!"
(although this doesnt work with my 5yr old as he things crazy is an actual place "YEAH!")
"Mom where did you get that?"
"The gettin place - if you would've been there you would've gotten one"
"MOM!"
"Mom I'm hungry"
"Nice to meet you hungry I'm Amy"
"MOM!"
And I also enjoy the What? What? What? thing as AGK does above :-)
Posted by: BigSis | July 12, 2004 at 05:19 AM
I enjoy pretending to look for Tony all over even when he is standing right in front of me.
"Mommy?"
"Hmmm, I hear something. Where did it come from?" (starts looking around.)
Tony follows me, "Mommy! I'm right here."
I look in the opposite direction, "Here?"
By this time Tony is standing where I can't get around him.
"Mommy!"
"What, Oh! There you are? What do you want?"
"Can I have a drink?"
"Well, why didn't just come up and say so?"
"Oh, forget it, I'll get it myself."
Posted by: VJ | July 05, 2004 at 10:30 PM
When they give us that extra-annoyed look, we tell them "Don;t smile or your face will crack." Gets them every time.
Best way to clear a room full of semi-teenagers? Grab the husband, start kissing. Extra gross-out points if you use tongue and grab each other's butts. Then when the kids are gone (ignore the retching sound) you two can talk about whatever you like.
Posted by: Andrea | July 05, 2004 at 07:36 AM
When I used to tell my mother that she was mean or unfair she would say:
"I've worked long and hard to reach this level of mean and it's nice to know someone noticed."
Posted by: Kimberly | July 02, 2004 at 12:12 PM
The kids: Mom, what's for dinner?
Me: Monkey snot with a side of elephant brains.
The kids: MOM!!!!
The kids: Where are we going?
Me: Crazy
The kids: Can I play a video game.
Me: Nope
The kids: why?
Me: Why what?
The kids: Why can't I?
Me: Can't what?
*snort* I can keep this one up for at least twenty minutes.
Oh yeah I reserve the right to drive my children just as insane as my mother did me. *heh*
Posted by: Lauren | July 02, 2004 at 10:39 AM
I have stolen one of my sister-in-law's evil sayings and it drives Lillianna insane.
Lillianna:(whining) I'm thirsty.
Me:(in my super perky voice) Hi, Thirsty. I'm Mommy.
Lillianna(really whining, now!) MOM!!!!!!!! You sound like Auntie Kathy! I just want a drink.
Me: Oh? In that tone of voice? Is there another way you can ask me?
Lillianna:(in a sweetie-pie voice)Mom, could I please have a drink?
Me: Well why didn't you ask me that in the first place?
Lillianna:(Huge sigh and eye roll!)
Motherhood is FUN!
Posted by: Robin P | July 02, 2004 at 08:36 AM
What's for dinner?
Food.
What kind of food?
The kind you eat.
Mom, can I go outside?
What?
Can I go outside?
What?
You HAVE to hear me. Outside. Can I?
What?
Oh yes, I enjoy everything I get to do to get them back for driving me crazy ;)
Posted by: AGK | July 02, 2004 at 07:38 AM