By Robin R.
Women and their mirrors. We probably all have a story or two in that category. For many women, looking in the mirror is more than simple vanity. It is a kind of dialogue we enact with ourselves. We try to figure things out that way. Our DotMoms editor Julie calls her personal blog, Mom in the Mirror, for example, because in it she reflects on her experiences as a mother. In a fellow DotMom's essay, "Her beauty", Angela celebrates her seven-year-old daughter's beautiful reflection in the mirror.
Let me start with what I see in my family. My daughter Pearl, at seven months old, is old enough that she can look in a mirror, and she seems to recognize herself. The moment she sees her face in the reflection, she appears THRILLED. She grins and lets out a high-pitched weeeeeeee! Next, if one of us is holding her, which at this point is pretty necessary, she recognizes face No. 2 and again squeals with utter delight. But she is most interested in the face that is hers.
I find watching Pearl watching herself to be completely enthralling. To give you a context for my response, I tend to avoid mirrors altogether myself, and so for me to watch this baby expressing joy over her reflection is very moving.
Do we all begin our lives in a state of such pure self-acceptance?
In the Greek myth about Narcissus, a nymph falls in love with her own reflection. She does not know that it's her reflection. It's just that this "other" person seems very compelling to her, for some reason. The usual interpretation of the story is that self-love traps us, isolates us from others. It's the earliest stage of our development, and with any luck, we transcend it and become loving, caring, respectful adults.
Certainly selfishness is not a trait that I admire. No one does. But isn't there something wonderful about this child enamored with her own image? There's a very deep happiness and self-assurance that I wish she could keep, forever and ever.
There's an animated song on Noggin that also follows this thought. It's really pretty, about a girl who doesn't know about her dark skin color or curly hair, just that her nana says she's beautiful. It's called _There Were No Mirrors in My Nana's House_.
Posted by: anniem | January 23, 2005 at 10:53 PM
I love when Lillianna looks in the mirror and loves what she sees if I do her hair a new way or she is playing with make-up or just admiring a new outfit. Once she looked in the mirror and came out of the bathroom crying that she was ugly. I started to cry. She is so beautiful....why would she even think that? We had a long talk and she hasn't said it again. I hope she isn't thinking that!!
Posted by: Robin P | September 23, 2004 at 07:49 PM
See, you're just backing my main point :)
Posted by: AGK | September 19, 2004 at 02:36 PM
I remember when my daughter first started looking in the mirror - she was thrilled to see two Mommies. She kept looking at my in the mirror and back at the person who was holding her (me). Now at 21 months, she is making silly faces and she laughs at herself. She's beautiful and she knows it. I hope to keep that lasting as long as possible.
Posted by: Goldberry | September 18, 2004 at 08:47 AM