By Beth
My husband is a stay-at-home dad. I work a second shift job from home. So, while most people have their evenings off to lounge around and watch "Wifeswap," or to enjoy some quiet time together after baby has gone to bed, we have all of our free time in the mornings. Since Beckett is awake and fully with us during all of our free time, my husband and I have set up a schedule so that we each get a full morning off, with no baby care responsibilities.
This is supposed to be time when I can do whatever I want to do. Want to watch four hours of Tivoed "Sopranos" reruns? Go for it! Want to sleep in for an extra two hours? Snooze away! Want to go catch an early matinee, and eat popcorn? Fantastic!
But do you know what I do on my scheduled mornings off? I shop for Beckett, or schedule a doctor's appointment. I clean the bathroom or rake the leaves in the front yard. I can't seem to get into lounge mode when it's ten o'clock in the morning. And when my morning off is over, I feel cheated. I feel like I'm not having any fun. I feel like I have this incredible opportunity to do something wonderful for myself once a week, but when that time comes around, I just freeze up.
If you had a morning off, and could do anything you wanted, what would YOU do? Maybe your ideas will inspire me to put down the toilet brush, and do something for myself.
I have a standing lunch date with two of my best friends every Tuesday. We alternate on who's turn it is to bring lunch. No one ever cooks, we just order from a local restaurant or sub shop. We spend about 2 hours eating and chatting and then go on our separate ways. It's amazing how relaxing it is and we've just decided to extend it into an additional night once a month to play cards and try out new martini flavors.
Posted by: Gail | November 01, 2004 at 06:57 PM
My husband and I have a similar arrangement, and whenever we have a long weekend we each get a "day" (usually from around 1 pm to 8 pm) to leave the house, alone, alone, alone!! I, like you, often end up grocery shopping, but I always make time to eat in a restaurant that doesn't have a kids meal plan anywhere in sight. I sit alone, I linger, I even read while I eat. And I do not share with a single soul.
Posted by: Tammy | October 30, 2004 at 03:52 PM
Sleep or schedule myself to begin painting the guest bedroom. It's been on my list now for a year, I just never find time to begin it.
Posted by: Helene | October 30, 2004 at 10:34 AM
I have two mornings a week off, the days when Jonah goes to school. I use one morning for chores, appointments, etc., and the other is for yoga. I've been doing this for a couple of months now, and it's really working for me.
How about if you split your four hours into two blocks of two? Or go on an alternating work-self schedule?
Posted by: Terry | October 30, 2004 at 09:49 AM
On Tuesday and Thursday mornings (from 9:15 to 11:15) I make it my first goal to do something for myself. So far, in the last 2 months, I have spent a majority of the time in the coffee shop doing some writing. I tried doing the writing from my house, but found it too distracting (always thinking of the things I *should* get done).
I have to give up my morning off on occasion and it just about kills me. I work in my daughter's class one day a month and my son's on another day. I also have occasional dr appointments or hair appointments I find easier to schedule on those days I don't have to find a sitter.
I could clean or rake or do one of the millions of things on my to do list, but I find I'd rather suffer through doing those things with my 3 year old by my side. I've waited since I became a mother to have these 5 hours a week alone...I'm not spending them doing work!
Posted by: Melissa | October 30, 2004 at 09:14 AM