Me and my minivan

By Melissa

This week, my daughter turned six. This week, we bought a minivan.

I never thought my identity was wrapped up in a car, in a vehicle which takes us from point A to point B. But then I am from the Motor City and every person I know is at least two degrees from one of the Big Three. From my husband, who works in automotive advertising, to my Ford executive grandfather, to a friend who works as a personal chef for the Ford family.

Perhaps it's in my blood.

But maybe it's the fact that now, no matter where I go, I'm a MOM in a MINIVAN.

In the past, when I escaped the house without my two absolutely perfect children, I could hop in my SUV and, with the tinted windows hiding the two car seats in the back, I could pretend for a few minutes I was actually childless.

Not that I want to be childless at this point, but it's always nice to relive the best times in our past in whatever small ways we can. It was nice to escape my reality on a brief trip to the grocery store alone or on a date night with my husband.

In a minivan, no matter how tinted your windows are, you can never escape the fact that you are a Mom and you have succumbed to the convenience of carting five kids and all their gear at one time.

I am a mother, but first I'm Melissa. In my minivan, everyone I pass sees me as A Mom. That's my box and now I fit in it.

It took exactly six years, but I finally gave in. I drive a minivan now.

Comments

[Leisa Dreps]

Hey, you're a proud mom! And yeah, I often see moms like you drive their minivans together with their kids. Those are nice and loving scenes, however! Argh, I suddenly missed mom right now. =( Btw, this article was posted long ago, are you still driving that minivan? Just askin'! =)

[melissaS]

I'm not mad but what you're talking about is a much different thing than what my story was about.

Tis true we could do without many things that have come to be the 'standard'. This van we bought is much better for the environment than our SUV ever was. And it's not as if I'm driving a Hummer or an Expedition or even more ludicrous an Excursion.

The great news is that when I'm headed to hell for destroying the environment...I'll have room for SIX passengers! Hop on board everyone!

[andrea]

Ok - I'm going to throw my additional two cents in here, though I know full well no one is going to like it much. (Melissa, I lurve you, you know that, right?) :)

Minivans/SUVs are gas guzzlers and they're terrible for the enviornment. People got along without them for so long, why do we feel like we need them now? I think we should be doing our best to *downsize* our lives, not supersize. Does no one consider what kind of world we're leaving our children? And our children's children? As North Americans we have to stop being such huge consumers. We have to start making smarter choices, not just turn a blind eye and deny that we're a part of a growing problem. I hope I'm not alone in this belief.

Judging by how things are looking today, I daresay it's just a matter of time before the enviroment is destoyed and we are buried in our own garbage.

Sorry, I know I'm going to offend some people with this one...

[melissaS]

Oh Dinka...it is just a car, tis true.

But lots of things mean more to us than what they actually are. That's what makes people ponder things and maybe understand who they are just a little bit better.

Besides! I'm from Detroit....there's no such thing as 'Just a car' for shame young lady!

[dinka]

It's just a car. IT REALLY IS JUST A FREAKING CAR.

[Michelle]

I went through the same thing last year. Since the day I met my husband, he knew that I had to someday have an SUV. Well, after years and years of badgering, we finally got a Toyota Highlander last year, right before a big snow storm too. We thought about the Sienna, since we had one child and new we were going to have another at some point, but a minivan just didn't seem necessary with just 2 kids and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The snow storm only seemed to solidify that belief, since we saw how great the Highlander was in the snow. And then, a few months later, the 2004 Siennas came out. They were the only minivan I could stomach, and suddenly all the reasons we considered buying one before came flooding back, and were topped with the fact that I actually LIKED the way the new Siennas look. Then I got pregnant, and the real campaign began. My husband finally succumbed last January, and in the nearly one year I have had my Sienna, I have never looked back, never regretted trading my beloved SUV. I finally realized, that I don't care what others think because it is an ULTRA practical car. I love my Sienna!

[Ally]

Personally I loathe mininvans ... mummymobiles!!!I am a mother of 3 & have been looking for a car to drive my brood & their friends around in to no avail... the leads all end up at the... minivan. I did succumb & buy an old Mazda MPV which we call the larger vehicle & it DOES NOT look like an SUV or MINIVAN. When will the car manufacturers design a car with 7 seats that does not look like a minivan (I exclude VOLVO here however their 3rd back seat is for short leggged midgets!)

[melissaS]

Oh Escalade with your ridiculous tax deductions while you suck the environment of all it's resources.....I"m sorry I left you behind.

[daddydaycare]

Suckerrrrrrr! I told you to buy the Escalade...

[Melani]

You have described me perfectly...I have a minivan and everyday I search for the suv that I might be able to get instead. I love being a mom but sometimes it would be nice for people not to know that I am right away just by the car that I drive. I want to be "Melani" not, "so and so's mom or so and so's wife"

[Debra]

another michigan mom here. another mini van mom as well. a soccer mom to boot. all i lack is the soccer sticker on the back window.

i got my van 2 years ago to help hall the hoards of lil girls who ended up going home with us after school. i love it but the next vehicle is so the suv for all the reason you stated.

don't feel so bad..my last car before the soccer mom vehicle was a taurus with an awesome sound system and moon roof. i did on one incident hide the car seat in the trunk, turn the radio up, open the moon roof and pretended i was motherless..even if it only lasted for 30 minutes! =o)

[andrea]

Shaddap already. Forget the kids. The minivan is perfect for a snog.

*wink*

[TeriLynn]

Even as a single 20-something girl, I would LOVE a minivan, but in my city I could never find parking. Of course I am in a band and have to lug equipment around... but that can be your solo-adventure daydream plot-line - You're a rockstar on tour. Okay, granted, a commercially unsuccessful rockstar... but you have your integrity! (makes me feel better...ah, escapism!)

Miao.

[Terry]

I gave in to my Honda Odyssey just about a year ago and, though I hate to admit it, I love it. In my heart, I'm driving a 2-seater Mercedes convertible. In real life, I'm ogling the features on the new generation of minivans. How pathetic am I?

[Suzanne]

I've arrived at peaceful ambivalence with our minivan. It's functional, it's not quite as environmentally unfriendly as an SUV, and, oh yeah, my husband drives it. I still get to drive the car!

[maria]

i never really thought about the minivan - mom thing until my folks gave me my mom's dodge caravan for a college graduation gift. it was great--everything i owned fit in my car, but boy did it ever get me some funny looks as i went about my 20-something life. people probably worried for my children ;)

[winbenkat]

Truer words have never been spoken. I too took almost 6 years to get to the minivan stage and then divorce took it away (along with the husband :) I now drive a Cavalier (being from Michigan myself, you gotta stay with the big 3)