A slight wrinkle

By Elizabeth S.

My son delivered a blow the other day. Peering closely at me, he said, "Mommy, you have cracks!" And then he laughed. And I don't mean a chuckle; he really laughed hard. The kind of grab-your-sides-'cause-it-hurts belly laugh. Gleeful mirth in the face of my crushed equilibrium.

I considered putting him in the cellar with bread and water for sustenance and a solitary lump of coal to play with, telling him he couldn't come out until he had learned to say "My, my sweet mommy, you look so youthful today." But we don't have a cellar.

I considered sitting him down and letting him know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, who gave me those "cracks" in the first place. Mr I-Won't-Sleep-For-More-Than-Two-Hours-At-A-Time-Until-I-Am-A-Year-Old, that's who. But he wouldn't listen.

When I was pregnant, my then-boss told me that the first 12 months of motherhood would age my face about 2 or 3 years, and by the time my wee urchin was 5, I would look 10 years older. She was right about most things, and it seems she might be right about that, too. Horrid woman!

And then all I could think of was the time my mom scared the living daylights out of me by confiding that when you get older and your skin loses elasticity, your face will FALL OFF when you bend over. It seems to me that it would have been kinder if she hadn't mentioned it. I mean, she didn't tell me what childbirth would do to my nether regions, so why dish the dirt on this? Why? It's an image I have never shaken, and I live in dread of the day that my forehead, cheeks and chin wrestle free of my skeleton and hang loose. Horrible, horrible, horrible. Can you staple it back? It's a near miracle that I didn't become a plastic surgeon.

But guess what? The story has a somewhat happy ending. A twist you may not have seen coming. Redemption! You see, the next day, my son stared closely at me again and made the cracks comment again. But with a small … no, not small … an absolutely fundamental and monumental difference. He said I have RED cracks, and he was looking at my eyes. And then he said the same thing to my dear blurry-eyed husband. Red lines! Not wrinkles! Teeny little harmless red lines in my eyes. NOT wrinkles. Not. Nothing a few eye drops and a good night's sleep won't cure. No need for the Botox after all.

Am youthful and gorgeous and have skin like a baby's bottom.

Comments

[Keisha]

My four year old delights in telling me I have "bumps". He gives me a sweet, tender hug and looks at my face only to say "mommy you have bumps". What are these "bumps" you may ask? I've never had a flawless complexion but I've never had to use creams and whatnot either. I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I'm prone to acne. My problem has always been that I'll get one, and in this case two, pimples that begin ... I leave them alone and they stick around for about 6 months or more. They never come to a head, they are just large rounded "bumps" that I don't know how to get rid of. Eventually they fade or come to a head.

Thor still ask about mommy's "bumps" and says, "I don't have bumps" as if he's rubbing it in. Little booger. :p

[Jessica]

My three year old son has never said anything about wrinkles, but the other day when we were reading a book, he looked at the picture of a woman with graying hair and said, "Look, Mommy! That woman is getting moldy!" I know when I get "moldy" who's fault it will be! But it is all worth it.

[Nicola]

I would believe the ageing thing. A friend was looking through some digital photos with me recently. She saw one taken when I was about 3 months pregnant. Kellan is 9 months old now, so it was taken just over a year ago. "Oh, look at you, you're so young!" she exclaimed, not realising that the photo was taken only last July. And when I had my hair cut recently and sent a photo to my mother she said, "It makes you look so much older". Yeah, thanks Mom, but its more likely to be the year without sleep, the bags under my eyes, and the wrinkles now appearing in my almost 30 year old skin. But hey, he's worth every minute.

[muse]

Not true. Kids make you look younger, more radiant, happier and more glad to be alive. Those were laugh lines!

[AGK]

LOL! Oh, how kids are just so...ummm...yeah! My daughter wrinkles her nose when she doesn't like my hair, but then tries to say she does (in true woman fashion, how we lie to each other). My 10YO son, though, never hesitates to tell me how tired I may look, or if my breath stinks (coffee breath he hates!).