New year's resolutions

By Anne-Marie

I remember reading a letter to one of the national advice columns in the newspaper. It was from a woman who wrote that her recent car accident was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Always the perfect housekeeper and mother, she was forced to spend weeks in bed recovering and rarely left her bedroom. She could no longer keep her house and children spotless and organized, and had to turn over those duties to others. The only thing she could do was read to her children.

Before her accident, she was too busy to spend one-on-one time with them. Yes, she was often alone with her kids in the car on the way to school or sports activities, but she was never really there. Instead she was mentally checking off and thinking about the next item on her "to do" list.

After her accident, she found herself really spending time with her children. Not only was she reading to them, but talking and listening as well. She started getting close to her children and they to her. They formed a bond they hadn't shared since the kids were babies. And she realized that a tidy home and perfect-looking and perfectly-behaving kids weren't the signs of a good mother. Instead, being close to her children and getting to know them as individuals was.

This year, I needed to mentally take time away from my children and focus on myself. My volunteer work enabled me to meet new people, make friends, and build up my resume. Writing intellectually challenged me and kept me sane. Even though I was physically with my children 24/7, I know my mind was somewhere else -- on the various things on my "to do" list, on the next piece I was writing, or on the book I was reading.

But now it's time to turn my attention back to my children. So next year, I vow to cut back somewhat on the writing and volunteering (working smarter, I think it's called) and spend more time in the NOW of being with my kids. I think we'll all be better off for it.

What are your New Year's resolutions?

Comments

[Amanda]

This is something I really struggle with. It's so hard to stay in the moment when I have a zillion things to do! It's almost as if I need to add "read to the baby, look him in the eyes, pay attention" on my to do list!

[nita]

I can't wait til my baby can talk to me. For now, she sleeps like a frat boy from 7:30 to 7:30. I spend every moment with her as my first consideration and I do all the other stuff (cleaning, ironing, tv watching, dog training) after she's in bed. We're totally on her schedule but what that has made is an infant who sleeps at 9, 12, and 3 and a house that will still be standing if it's messy as hell all day!

[Robin P]

I think I read that in the advise column too!! It gets you thinking, doesn't it?
Every day I try to do more with Lillianna.Some days I even succeed!! It's an ongoing thing.

My New Year's Resolutions.......hmmm....I only make one a year so that I can keep it. This year I want to make more time for "family time." It's hard to do because I work all weekend long when people usually spend that time with their family. I'll have to figure out a solution with Rich. We really need this time together.

[AGK]

For the past two months, I was definitely preoccupied with my work thoughts, but I was also able to bring my children to work with me several times. Being able to combo the two was great, although I know my kids needed more of my time than they got. Resolutions? With the exception of the same past two months, I have to say I really do give them a ton of my attention. I learned to stop and listen a long time ago. So much easier and nicer to stop and listen than to try to pretend they aren't jabbering at you :)