Daddy's Girl: Not.

By Amy D.

Isabelle, or I-belle as we have started to call her because we're lazy, has really gotten attached to my left leg. Or my right one. Or both knees together. "Moooommmmmmy" is a common scream heard through our house. She wants NOTHING to do with her father, unless on special occasions, like I'm at the gym or gone for the night with friends. If I am even in close proximity, forget it... we're attached.

I was pretty concerned over it so I headed to the main source of all my information lately, the Internet. I found tons of articles about how it's perfectly normal for toddlers to be closer to one parent or another and tons of articles that explain that it's just a phase that all kids go through.

I know, I know -- All parents go through this. But I don't want to. It adds so much stress to day-to-day life. My husband gets frustrated because Ibelle doesn't want to do anything with him or let him do anything for her. My daughter gets frustrated because I don't spend every SECOND attending to her. And I get frustrated because a lot of the emotional support of Ibelle falls on me because she doesn't want it any other way.

I've heard the advice about allowing the "other" parent to create a time of bonding with the toddler. Bedtime or bathtime or anytime really, as long as the two of them have that time and I don't interupt it. But life doesn't work that way... all routine like. And so I find myself resenting everyone involved, in a very normal mother way, I guess.

So yeah, I trudge out daily life being my daughter's greatest playmate. Now if only I can get her to do housework while attached to me.

Comments

[Jennifer Buchala]

I see the daddies girl not article was written in 2005. Is the situation with I-belle any better? I have a three year old that wants nothing to do with her father. He just called from work and said "Let me talk to Lexi". I went to give her the phone and she shoke her head no. It just breaks my heart. He really does try.

[LauriJon]

Cella is only 14 months, but Mommy or Mom as she says has alays been her main clinging post. To her credit, she has recently bonded better with da-da-da-da, letting Mom get her hair cut (all by myself, yippie!)

However, when she's unconsolable, it's usually Mom whose arms she needs to take comfort in. It is equally rewarding and exhausting. I guess it's why after I put her to bed at 7:30 or 8:00 I'm too tired to do anything.

This past christmas, while on a flight from NY to LA (our new home) we were seated next to a family of four, one boy child and a younger girl. The mother sat next to the girl who proceeded to have a fit and cry for her daddy. The mother switched seats with her husband and the little girl was fine the rest of the trip. I think that girl was maybe three years old.

I don't know how old I-belle is, but I'm sure that little girl above began life clinging to her mommy. There may be hope for you when I-belle gets a little older.

I know if Cella ever switches to want most of her attention from her da-da, I'll both welcome it and be a little sad. For me it's still incredibly flattering and heart tugging that she needs comfort from ME! (Now it's time for Mom to get some sleep.)

[Alison]

My normally active toddler is sick this week, so his MommyChumness is in overdrive. Instead of grabbing my hand and ordering me around the house, he does so from my arms. All week long, he's been clinging to Mommy, pointing me in all directions and generally corralling me from room to room on his every whim. It's been an exhausting week for both of us!