By Amy S.
Thanks to a mid-winter mystery virus, this morning was the first morning I set foot outside the house in three days. Olivia's fever started and a few days later I fell victim to the congestion. At one point I had not been out of my pajamas in 48 hours. Outside it was a miserable mix of snow, rain, freezing rain and to add insult to injury -- an icy cold wind. It felt rather nice to isolate ourselves indoors for the duration of said weather. We kept the gas logs going, took our respective cold medicine and wrestled the blankets away from the cats.
As I drove out of the neighborhood this morning, it dawned on me that I was driving away not just from our house, but from our home. A weekend tucked inside in our relatively new house gave me a chance to appreciate the warmth and love a home provides.
When we moved into our first house -- pre-baby -- it felt like I was driving to someone else's home for at least six months. I cried occasionally because it felt big and lonely compared to our two-bedroom apartment. That first house didn't become a home until we'd done quite a bit of work on it to make it truly ours.
We've only been in our new home since October, but almost immediately we felt at home. Maybe it was moving in just in time for the holidays and all of the family and warmth associated with the holidays. I was driven to get boxes unpacked and rooms arranged, in part because I wanted Olivia to be comfortable in her new home.
Perhaps making a home is just the by-product of having a toddler. It didn't take long for toddler socks to start appearing in the oddest places (my purse!) and puzzles pieces and tea set pieces to begin appearing all over the house. Already there's a collection of toddler art on the fridge and a bin full of bath toys perched next to the garden tub in the master bathroom. (The garden tub was supposed to be my oasis, but Olivia adores it. too!)
Olivia always yells "Home!" when we pull into the driveway at the end of the day. It only took a couple of days for her to begin yelling it again when we drove up to our new house. I take it as a good sign.
When Rich and I got married we moved into a 2 bedroom apt. We lived there for 2 years. I never attached to that place because we knew it was temporary.
When I was 3 months pregnant we bought our house. We thought we would live there forever but I never attached to that house either. We sold it after 3 years and rented a house. Again, a temporary arrangement. No attachment. Now we are in an apartment hoping to buy a house one of these days and this doesn't feel like home either. The 3 of us make anywhere we live a home, but the home itself doesn't make me have any special feelings.
I can't wait to feel about our home the way you feel about your home.Maybe in time!
Posted by: Robin P | February 01, 2005 at 11:07 PM
When I married my husband, it meant moving out of my comfortable two bedroom apartment and into his house in a new town, new country, and new part of the world. I never knew a place to feel *less* like home! It was decorated long before my arrival into his life, a whole house and existence that had nothing to do with me. I felt like a guest in my own home.
The following summer, I decided to do the garden, to put my mark somewhere. That helped a lot, but still, the house didn't feel like home.
Fast forward to the next winter and the birth of our son. Suddenly, and I still can't quite figure out why, the house became a home. A haven for our new family. The place that Kellan and I grew to know each other. The place that I learned to nurse him, bathe him, care for him, and love him. When we moved away the following summer (back to the US), I was distraught. Every time I saw that "For Sale" sign out the window, my stomach turned. My house, my home, my world. I didn't want to leave, I wanted to raise my son there, watching him play in the back garden, go to the local school, and visit the familiar settings that I had come to know along with him. I cried and cried and cried.
We're settled in Illinois now, but I still miss that house, that home, terribly.
Posted by: Nicola | January 31, 2005 at 03:00 PM
Greetings! A friend sent me the link to your site (really great site!!!) and suggested that I contact you.
My name is Ruth Mendelson. I am a composer (I score films for a living and teach Advanced Film Composition at Berklee College of Music in Boston)- deeply committed to aspects of Healing and Music.
Below is the link to my web site (featuring sound clips that download automatically and play as a loop):
http://www.ruthmendelson.com/
I originally composed the "Amazing Jellies" CD last winter for the New England Aquarium's exhibit re: jellyfish and saving the oceans.
Several months ago, a teacher who was visiting the exhibit was so taken by the music she wrote about it on an internet teachers forum, saying that it had the strong potential to help her students learn. Before I knew it, I was flooded with CD orders from teachers all across the US and Canada.
Since then, people of all ages and occupations are using this music as a medium for various aspects of healing and relaxation. Teachers, parents, children, nurses, the elderly, teens, those with autism and various sensory issues, psychotherapists, yoga instructors, massage therapists are all benefiting from this music. In general, the CD is being used for anything from helping children to focus in classrooms to adults recovering from surgery. Overall, the music is especially helpful in the areas of pain management and stress/anxiety reduction.
UCLA is now interested in doing a partner study with Mass General (here in Boston) with the CD re: monitoring reduction of pain levels in patients.
If there is anyone who feel could benefit from this music, would you mind passing on this link to them? The CD is serving many people at this point and has the potential to help several more.
Thanks and Blessings!
-Ruth Mendelson
Posted by: Ruth Mendelson | January 31, 2005 at 12:08 AM
Greetings! A friend sent me the link to your site (really great site!!!) and suggested that I contact you.
My name is Ruth Mendelson. I am a composer (I score films for a living and teach Advanced Film Composition at Berklee College of Music in Boston)- deeply committed to aspects of Healing and Music.
Below is the link to my web site (featuring sound clips that download automatically and play as a loop):
http://www.ruthmendelson.com/
I originally composed the "Amazing Jellies" CD last winter for the New England Aquarium's exhibit re: jellyfish and saving the oceans.
Several months ago, a teacher who was visiting the exhibit was so taken by the music she wrote about it on an internet teachers forum, saying that it had the strong potential to help her students learn. Before I knew it, I was flooded with CD orders from teachers all across the US and Canada.
Since then, people of all ages and occupations are using this music as a medium for various aspects of healing and relaxation. Teachers, parents, children, nurses, the elderly, teens, those with autism and various sensory issues, psychotherapists, yoga instructors, massage therapists are all benefiting from this music. In general, the CD is being used for anything from helping children to focus in classrooms to adults recovering from surgery. Overall, the music is especially helpful in the areas of pain management and stress/anxiety reduction.
UCLA is now interested in doing a partner study with Mass General (here in Boston) with the CD re: monitoring reduction of pain levels in patients.
If there is anyone who feel could benefit from this music, would you mind passing on this link to them? The CD is serving many people at this point and has the potential to help several more.
Thanks and Blessings!
-Ruth Mendelson
Posted by: Ruth Mendelson | January 31, 2005 at 12:08 AM
Greetings! A friend sent me the link to your site (really great site!!!) and suggested that I contact you.
My name is Ruth Mendelson. I am a composer (I score films for a living and teach Advanced Film Composition at Berklee College of Music in Boston)- deeply committed to aspects of Healing and Music.
Below is the link to my web site (featuring sound clips that download automatically and play as a loop):
http://www.ruthmendelson.com/
I originally composed the "Amazing Jellies" CD last winter for the New England Aquarium's exhibit re: jellyfish and saving the oceans.
Several months ago, a teacher who was visiting the exhibit was so taken by the music she wrote about it on an internet teachers forum, saying that it had the strong potential to help her students learn. Before I knew it, I was flooded with CD orders from teachers all across the US and Canada.
Since then, people of all ages and occupations are using this music as a medium for various aspects of healing and relaxation. Teachers, parents, children, nurses, the elderly, teens, those with autism and various sensory issues, psychotherapists, yoga instructors, massage therapists are all benefiting from this music. In general, the CD is being used for anything from helping children to focus in classrooms to adults recovering from surgery. Overall, the music is especially helpful in the areas of pain management and stress/anxiety reduction.
UCLA is now interested in doing a partner study with Mass General (here in Boston) with the CD re: monitoring reduction of pain levels in patients.
If there is anyone who feel could benefit from this music, would you mind passing on this link to them? The CD is serving many people at this point and has the potential to help several more.
Posted by: Ruth Mendelson | January 31, 2005 at 12:07 AM
To answer your question, for me it is having memories there. A dent in the wall where a game of frisbee got out of hand, the existence of pictures reminding us of the time we've spent. We've been doing some minor renovations on ours, and just the act of caring for it (i.e., painting) makes it feel even more our home.
Posted by: Donna | January 30, 2005 at 04:29 PM