By Amanda
This is absolutely it. I've said it before, but this time I mean it. This is the last time I do Christmas out of town.
One December 23, we packed the station wagon with clothes, gifts and everything a 5-year-old and 1-year-old might need for a 450-mile journey. Weary from a long day at work, we got on I-95 with the rest of America and drove north. Although it was all about this day, the preparation started months before.
The majority of gifts for the kids and extended family were either purchased from catalogs and sent to my mother's house, or mailed there by me in the weeks preceding the holiday. I had so many lists and sub-lists to get ready for the trip it's a wonder that I didn't have a nervous breakdown.
We arrived on Christmas Eve. Because my parents are divorced they had already worked out my visitation schedule. Although I'm 38 years old, the schedule is important because there are now grandchildren involved. Luckily, my parents live just a few minutes apart. But as anyone with young children knows, even short visits across town involve packing items like snacks, sippie cups, a portable high-chair, a pack-n-play and toys. Then there's keeping a toddler safe in someone else's house, a house that is not child-proofed, that has no gates and plenty of stairs.
After the holiday, my husband took the car and returned to our home Monday so he could go back to work. It was filled, literally filled, with gifts. I had already planned to fly home with the kids Thursday, but had we wanted to go in the car it would have been impossible.
Several large "Santa" gifts did not make the trip with us, which means my 5-year-old will have to wait to get them when we return home. This was little consolation to her when she had just a few small things to open Christmas morning. Explaining to her that we could not fit the Barbie dollhouse in the Volvo didn't go over well.
You always hear people say things like: "I think children should sleep in their own beds on Christmas Eve, go out to their own tree in the morning and spend Christmas day at their own house." In theory it's a nice Norman Rockwellian ideal. But I think the real reason families should celebrate Christmas at home is for their own sanity. The holidays are hectic enough. The added stress of traveling makes them a lot less enjoyable.
Next year, we will be home for Christmas. Not the home where I grew up, but the home I have made with my husband and children. Grandparents will be invited to come to us if they so choose. Those loved ones we don't see, we will make plans with after the holidays.
Mommy wants to sleep in her own bed on Christmas Eve.
We made the trip from Illinois to my hometown of San Diego last month so that my family could share in Kellan's first Christmas. Other than the horrible colds (airplane germs), we managed quite well and all had a lovely holiday. I suppose that Kellan's age helps. He's only 10 months old, so had no expectations. And the fact that we moved from Britain to Illinois this year, so we had no family traditions associated with this home. And for me of course, it was truly going home for Christmas, decorating the tree with my family, going to bed in my childhood bedroom and waking for presents the next morning. Dad in his robe cooking up pancakes, Mom looking at all of her Bath & Body Works goodies in her stocking. A trip to the beach after presents. For me, this is Christmas. I've moved around so much in my post-university years that I don't really have another home yet. Hopefully we'll get there and I too will long to spend my Christmas in our own home.
Posted by: Nicola | January 03, 2005 at 04:29 PM
Since my sister, who lives in Switzerland, was spending the holidays at my mom's in San Diego, my family joined hers. Luckily, this was a one-time scenario, because all I can say is NEVER AGAIN!
The money wasted on shipping presents back and forth was staggering, let alone the cash outlay for plane tickets, rental car, entertainment and dining out. The constant rush and packing and repacking as we bounced from one relative's to the others wasn't fun, let alone the colds we all came down with.
But what I missed most were our traditions - cooking special meals, leaving cookies and a cocktail out for Santa, reading "Santa Mouse," tracking Santa's progress on the internet, watching "The Christmas Story" on TNT all day long, hanging out in our pjs, etc.
Posted by: Anne-Marie | January 02, 2005 at 03:23 PM
Luckily none of our family is out of state but even if they were I would not visit them on the holidays. We have our own traditions: Christmas Eve we go to our friends' house which is 25 minutes away. Then we have a few friends over for Christmas morning breakfast around 10:00am which is hours after we have opened presents and showered! The rest of the day is unplanned. If we feel up to visiting someone we will. No rushing. No hysteria. No trying to please anyone but ourselves. Selfish? Nahhhh! We like to think of it as practical.
Posted by: RobinP | January 02, 2005 at 02:03 PM
Been doing the Christmas at home thing for the last three years after six years of driving to the in-laws through some of the worst weather ever, on tight schedules, with kids and dogs in the car.
Never again. Never again. Home is the only answer that makes sense for us!
Posted by: Ancarett | January 02, 2005 at 10:58 AM
OH I feel for you! WE did that journey for years before we slept in our own beds for chistmas. It was waaaaaay too much for any of us and I think especially for my husband and me. My MIL and my parents all live in the same town and we even had to switch where we stayed half way through the trip. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. Congrats on making a great decision for next year - you will love it! Start thinking about what you want to make for xmas breakfast and other new traditions you guys will be creating. That was my favorite part the first year we were "home" for the holidays!
Posted by: cooper | January 02, 2005 at 09:43 AM